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The Wonderful World of Aderall

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by RakeMind4, Oct 5, 2014.

  1. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    When I was in higschool my mom took me to a shrink because I was fighting with my sister.

    We had been at each other's throats since our mid childhood.

    It tends to work out that way in families where the parents have a conflictual relationship.

    Sometimes, when my sister would hit me or throw **** at me, I would lose my temper and get physical back. Usually I would shove her to the ground. She would always be the one who got physical first, but granted I did kind of ask for it because I would goad her.

    My mom was a feminist, and when she saw me start shoving my sister, she got really upset and angry. It really bothered her because my father was like that with women, and my mom really hated that about him. So she took it as her responsibility to to whatever it took to prevent her son (me) from turning into that.

    Ah, I'm getting off topic.

    Long story short: I went to this sleazy shrink, and he, after a couple sessions, with almost zero understanding of my life history, slapped some label on me, and wanted to put me on some pills. I was like "**** you for saying that I'm broken and need pills to function," and I would've told him to take a hike, but hey. Free drugs. Awesome. So I went along with it and got, like, 40 mg of aderall to take in the mornings each day.

    Aderall was a blast. I completely stopped being anxious around my peers at school, which was a drastic change for me, because social anxiety had been a big problem for me for several years at that point. But, on the Aderall high (and it was a high, equivalent to weed in its degree of altering your experience), I suddenly stopped caring, completely. And I started to suddenly find learning and using information extremely, extremely interesting and rewarding. I found myself looking forward to math. And I started spending my freetime drawing geometric patterns. And that was like all I did, everyday.

    But, at the end of the day, I was fucking BURNT OUT. I mean, I would be completely exhausted, listless, and depressed. And I started feeling suicidal. It was weird because it was so systematic, and so drastic in its fluctuation. It was every day:

    Wake up.
    ****... school now...
    Take pills.
    Commence Euphoria.
    YAY LEARNING! Other people are so boring!
    End of day.
    Life is pointless. I want to die.

    I eventually got sick of this rollercoaster and kicked the pills. The shrink gave me another drug, Concerta or something, I forget, which he said was healthier and less extreme. I tried taking it for awhile, but I didn't get any kind buzz or high off of it, and I would just burp up a nasty tasting chemical foam throughout the day.

    I'm glad I got off these pills. I didn't really care about it at the time, and just wanted to get high, but in retrospect I see just what a massive influence they can have when taken throughout your developmental years.

    I would say, maybe, like, if you're girlfriend left you, and you're really fucked up about it, maybe take some happy pills for a couple weeks, just to get you through the bottoming out phase. But no longer than that. You can't just plan your life around these drugs. It's not normal or healthy, and just proves that these phoney shrinks aren't there to really help you.
  2. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    Wow, that was an exhausting cycle that you were in before. I'm happy to hear that you're off the pills now! And thank you so much for sharing your story, not everyone knows the risks of Adderall and you just gave light to all of us.
  3. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    I'm glad to hear that you kicked the pills and are better for it. Even if you're not dealing with addiction to these pills, they can wreak havoc on your mind and life. It's scary to think that things like Adderall, even when taken under recommended dosages, can do such harmful things to the body.
  4. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    That is the cycle of the good and bad with adderall. Its like it can make you think of happy thoughts and when you think it does not matter most then here comes that destruction in your thoughts. I feel sorry for you for feeling suicidal thoughts due to the adderall.
  5. Brem

    Brem Member

    Pills like this are meant to change the chemistry of your brain, to make you feel different. Sadly they have some pretty scary side effects. I always thought it was messed up that anti-depressants would often have side effects associated with suicidal thoughts, that's just not right. I'm glad you kicked the pill out of your life, because it could have gotten worse. I was on an anti-depressant a while back because of my severe social anxiety, but I never really had any major side effects. Though, I do now notice that I'm less socially uncomfortable, so it can work for some people I suppose. I stopped taking them as I didn't want to go to the doctors again to get a refill, maybe my social anxiety isn't completely fixed, but oh well, it beats taking pills.

    Anyways, congrats again for cutting the pills out. It can be very hard for some people to do, but it's always safer to go this route.
  6. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    Its the best thing to do to go the no pills route. I mean I could remember I was taking some vicodin for pain that I was having for being involved in a car accident as a passenger back in 2007. I was suffering more from the pills then I was from the accident.
  7. Askani

    Askani Active Contributor

    I have a slight allergy to codeine so whenever I needed pain meds, they would give me Demerol or Lortab. I never took the right dosage. I always broke it in half when I couldn't stand the pain any longer and took the half. I really liked them both and I knew I would easily become addicted to that nice drowsy feeling if given the chance. It is insane how easy it is to get drugs from a doctor even after all the studies showing how people are abusing them.
  8. cameronpalte

    cameronpalte Active Contributor

    Aderall has two major disadvantages.

    1) Your brain is designed to operate at the capacity it is meant to operate. As you have said yourself, someone taking Aderall, especially in longer amounts will feel burnt out at the end of the day due to the higher functioning capacity for the short amount of time during the day.

    2) The more you use a brain chemistry altering drug the more your brain itself alters which results in negative affects after you go off of the drug.
  9. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    Hey bruh. Yea, hey, those pills were really fun at first, and I didn't really care about the crashes at the time, but I'm glad I got off of those traintracks. Who knows what would've happened to me if I'd continued charging headfirst into those crashes. Lol, it's like I'm messed up enough as it is, you know?

    And hey: anxiety is a ripe demon matie. One of the hardest things I've had in my life, that anxiety. I still have it from time to time (especially when talking with females my age), but what's really helped me with it, is to come on the internet like this and just constantly talk with people. It helps me find my voice, and find a place where I can trust myself to communicate to others from. Like, I have a 'knowing who I am' when communicating with others, more. And there isn't that freezing and shutdown, so much, where my mind can't keep up with all the little fears that rush in about what the other person thinks of me; it gives me a context where I can SIMPLIFY my interpretation of face to face interactions.

    Hey, though, I need to get out more. I still need more practice, of not responding to those little fears.
  10. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    Adderall is a major wreck when you think about it. I just try to get over certain things so I would not have to rely on the pills. This way I would not have to waste a lifetime of being shattered.
  11. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    It's great to hear you made it through that period of taking pills and you can go on with your life. I know that sometimes the "demons" inside you can make you feel like there is no sense to the world no more without the pills. I took them for just a little while, they seemed to help me focusing at school but it the end I wished I never took them because after quitting them I was more unfocused than I was before starting taking them.
  12. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    Wow, I know this is a bit late but it is my first time viewing this forum on Aderall as I have never even heard of the drug before. Reminds me somewhat of taking Dinintel, give you that extra energy to make you feel like you can conquer the world throughout the day but that energy is just imaginary so at the end of the day I normally wound up feeling depressed and burnt out. Glad you are off and it is better to stay away from all drugs unless it is a must for you to use them.
  13. kima

    kima Member

    Thanks for sharing that story! I'm happy that you've managed to overcome this addiction. It takes a lot of self control and motivation - that is no easy feat. Some of my friends actually use Adderall occasionally to study, and I've tried to get them to stop, but they just don't listen to me. Sometimes they feel so overwhelmed by school that they think drugs are the answer. They would risk their physical and mental health to get a good grade on an exam. However, what scares me the most is that I could see myself doing the same. I haven't ever tried it, but sometimes I get so stressed out that I feel tempted to try it. I know it is not the answer, though. It would just make matters worse. Reading these posts give me the motivation to stay away from these!
  14. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    You went full circle and am glad you were able to discern the myth that drugs,whether prescription or otherwise have any long time benefits if abused.I hope that your story will help others to finally see the truth and shun that risky behavior.
  15. greensat

    greensat Member

    I've heard that many college kids use aderall to study. Do any students who go to college want to confirm my stereotype?