I am here to share my story in hopes that it helps some one else in the same situation. In August my husband committed suicide and I found him. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun. He left a suicide note but I never got to tell him how much I love him and I did not understand the extent of our issues. We were together for almost 8 years and throughout this we had great times together but we were both addicted to prescription pain medication. We both did have chronic pain but we could have handled it without the pills. The relationship turned into more of a dependence on each other for medication. Of course there were times that we were able to get clean together but it never lasted. We fed each others addiction even though we were best friends and we loved each other very much, we did not take a step back to realize how we took each other for granted. My husband is a wonderful man with a very big heart and always supported me through anything in life but never expressed to me how much his addiction had caused really bad depression and it was too late before I could realize what happened. When I found him 3 days after my birthday with a gunshot to his head I was terrified and now I feel alone and lost everyday without him. I feel guilty and ashamed about what has happened and I feel like everything is my fault. Please hold onto your loved ones and realize the drugs are not worth it. The drugs do not make your life better they make your life horrible and in an instant you can lose everything. I miss my husband very dearly and I wish he was still here. There is not a minute in the day that I do not think of him. I wish I could take everything back and just hold him and tell him that we can get help. But now....I have list him and it is all due to pills. I am trying to be strong because I know he is still with me but it is not easy. Just remember the drugs are not worth losing everything.