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Things that help me not abuse

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by camsdad, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. camsdad

    camsdad Member

    I am currently trying to stop drinking again. I was wondering if anybody has something that gives them that extra shot of "YOU CAN DO IT" juice. I think for me it's in the past. Whenever I think about having a drink, I think about everything I've lost and all the opportunities I missed out on. I don't really believe in regret, because tomorrow is always a new day, but I also can't shake the feeling that I've burned every bridge there is. That helps me control the urge sometimes. Just always having to think about the lost phone because I had those extra shots, the amount of extra hours I have to work to make back my bill money (if I can even work them) and how I don't have that person in my life anymore because I got sloppy every time they were around.

    I would like to hear about what makes you guys say no to whatever it is that you're struggling with. Thanks for listening!
    Jen S. likes this.
  2. MrMegistus

    MrMegistus Member

    Thanks for sharing! I believe, for me, it's kinda similar to you. When I want to get a nice expensive bottle of wine and go beyond the point of buzzing, I think about my repossessed car. I think about the evictions, the disconnection notices, and the love of my life who decided enough was enough and she wouldn't take care of all the bills while I indulged. Most of all, I think about how hard it was for me when I decided to stop. Once a person goes through that, thinking about having to relive it can sure make ME put that bottle/glass down.

    A more positive way or staying away from the past addiction(s) is to think about what you love and have in your life now, and how painful it would be to lose it over a sloppy drunk or progressively frequent buzzing experience.
  3. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    I think that time is important to me. When you think about how much time you have invested in recovery, how long you have fought this amazing fight, and the road you have traveled, and reflect back on giving all of that up when you relapse, sometimes it makes using again just not seem worth it. Of course, it isn't worth it, but it's all about perception in the moment. Right?
    camsdad likes this.
  4. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I drink socially and the most I can take on is three ice-cold bottles of beer, no more than that. The reason why I could never sink deeper than three bottles is that I don't treat drinking as a form of escape but as a venue through which I can strengthen my bonds with friends and family. Also, while actively drinking, I do not get lost in the act but instead, I think about the future and how to be a better daughter, sister, friend, colleague, worker and child of God. When you have problems, try not to drown it out with beer or smoke or whatever substance. Face it. Write it down. Watch a movie. Do any other activity that builds you up or helps you rise above your problems. Try to imagine yourself in the shoes of extremely sick people who still hope and struggle day-to-day. Have a keen interest in the world outside you. You'll see for yourself that you have no reason to abuse.
    camsdad likes this.
  5. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    Meditation in the morning has helped me out a lot. It helps me focus on what I want to get done in the day so that when I am faced with temptations I don't even second guess myself. I like that and daily affirmations. It's a little new age-y, but it's working for me.
    camsdad likes this.
  6. camsdad

    camsdad Member

    I feel like that is the crucial moment where it's either left or right. Not saying I wouldn't be able to start again with recovery, but when I get to the point where I clearly know that having another drink would undo so much, The decision would be to either not do it, or continue doing it. I feel like I would have to give 100% to something right?
    Nick W. likes this.
  7. camsdad

    camsdad Member

    I think that could help me out a lot. I used to know a yoga instructor and she tried teaching me some meditation techniques, but I was a bit overwhelmed at the idea, because I have a million thoughts going through my mind in a minute. The idea of picking one and focusing on it until I solve it was scary. I'm glad it's working out for you though. I'll have to give it a shot again.
    sillylucy likes this.
  8. camsdad

    camsdad Member

    I agree. What I have now is hope, and I don't want to lose that over substance. Thanks for your post, I relate to this in so many ways.
  9. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    Sometimes I think about people I've lost (my mother and brother). Rather than getting depressed about it or denying the reality, I use that pain as motivation to continue doing the next best thing. Which is just to make them proud.

    You mentioned someone important that isn't in your life anymore. They may still be around (living) and maybe having them back in your life is impossible, but that doesn't mean you can't turn that pain into something positive. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just allow it to remind you. Continue to be the kind of person you know they'd be proud of.
    Nick W. likes this.
  10. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    Just today I was looking at my tattoos and realized that 3 of the guys that gave them to me are now dead due to heroin overdose. It was kind of a shock to think about it that way, but I can understand Jen why that would be a motivator. When you look at it from that loss perspective it makes it really real, and it's hard to deny those negative effects. Thanks for sharing.
  11. camsdad

    camsdad Member

    I'm guilty of this myself, I don't get why I can't think of things like that for some other habits I have. Mainly smoking cigarettes.My grandfather died of cancer and I've still been puffing ever since. I know that nicotine is very addictive, but you would think I could use him as a reference to kick the habit.
  12. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    Oh, sorry - I didn't mean I lost my mother and brother due to drug or alcohol addiction. I'm just saying I (like many of us) have experienced a lot of loss, whether from burning my own bridges like @camsdad mentioned or just a tragic situation. The point is I'm not in control. I cannot bring people back, and I've done a lot of wrong things I'll never be able to take back. Sometimes being better people today is all we can do.
  13. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    I have read studies on addiction and I find that when I am not taking all of my vitamins then I crave things more. I crave chocolate more when I am low on zinc, my legs spaz when I don't have potassium and I get more OCD or anxious when I don't have omegas. I would turn to drinking when I was sick. Now I turn to healthy living.
  14. I hate this answer, because it is one that I hear people use a lot, and I'm not trying to be someone who just parrots what everyone else says. That said, I've had some success with this.

    When I started trying to get m drinking under control, I noticed how bloated and fat I had gotten while I was drinking all the time. I started hopping on the tredmill and doing as much as I could, just as means to stop looking and feeling like garbage all the time. Eventually, I started running anytime I felt the urge and I couldn't push it down. Throwing on headphones and getting a sweat usually lets me clear my head and focus on something else I want to do when I get back to the house (writing is a big one for me, too).

    I'm not exactly a fitness model or anything, but I can run further than I used to and it keeps my mind off my more negative impulses.
  15. jackslivi

    jackslivi Active Contributor

    Surround yourself with things that make you laugh when you are feeling the urge. Ok now, I do not know if you have seen this but everytime I have suggested this video to someone they are in tears from laughing so hard. Not to be raciest but maybe it is a white thing. I do not know. You need to look up, Dane Cook public bathroom on youtube. It will be the first one that says car accident/bad breath/public bathroom. Ok even if you do not like Dane Cook, this is one of his very beginning of his funny career. I hope this helps because I always laugh whenever I think about it.
  16. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    I've been an alcoholic before and I'm glad I'm off of it now. There are a couple of things that makes me say no to it now: Friends, family, and my passion -- music. Way back when I was still alcoholic, I'll just drink all night, work during the day, and go back to drinking again. Now that I'm all clean, I now have the time to play my guitar. It feels good.
  17. Serena

    Serena Active Contributor

    Have a little patience with the yoga. Over time, you will be able to learn to quiet your mind while practicing yoga. I think that one way that keeps me sober is thinking about how different substances have ruined the lives of people really close to me. I don't want that to happen to me and when I think about these people, it is an unpleasant reminder that I don't want to find myself in the same situation.
  18. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    My biggest inspiration is the life I have in front of me. I'm still fairly young and I still have many goals and tasks I wish to accomplish, and I know that I won't be getting anywhere close to them if I keep screwing around so it serves as a good motivator for me to keep myself in check. Nothing scares me more than not achieving my goals and I fear I will regret it at the end of my life if I don't give it my all now.
  19. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Well, you don't have to be an alcoholic to have these things happen if that makes anyone feel any better about it. The question is what makes you say no to whatever addiction you are fighting. Because you think more of yourself. Because you deserve better in life. Because there is no reason to let a toxic liquid substance control you or your life, or even push other people out of your life. Make you look less than you are. You are more than that. You are better than that. You deserve more. Say this to yourself.
    Focusing on what makes you feel good. What you can drink that does something good for you. What foods you can eat that will make you feel good and better equipped to live freely. Lots of fruit, vegetables, pasta, rice, and potatoes. Good stuff that will keep you satisfied. Not empty calories that will push you towards needing something that you don't want. Going against your will messes you up just as much. Sticking to it will, make you happier.
  20. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    The things that help me from relapsing and abusing alcohol again are my loved ones, my passions in life, and exercise. I love feeling like I'm treating my body well - it's just such a positive thing when I am working out, getting those endorphins pumping, and enjoying that natural euphoric feeling that it gives me. It's also such a wonderful de-stressing tool!