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'Tis the Most Horrible Time of the Year

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by kevinkimers, Nov 25, 2014.

  1. kevinkimers

    kevinkimers Community Champion

    For many addicts, this is the worst time of the year. Their heads are filled with thoughts of those they had lost because of their addictions. However, you must always keep in mind... as long as we breath, there is hope.

    Around this time of year I usually tell people "Make a Christmas Card for everyone you've lost. Express your hope of reconciliation but do not express expectations of it. Keep it simple and let them know that they are always in your heart." Strangely enough... this worked for quite a few of them.

    One thing it did was it made them feel a little better because they got to express what was in their heart on the manner. Another thing is that some of them reconciled with the person because it touched that person enough to get them to speak with them. It is not 100%, but seems to help.

    Happy Turkey Day!!!!!!! Love to you all!
    primalclaws1974 likes this.
  2. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    Thank you very much for doing this. The world is a better place because of you :). If Thanksgiving is indeed about giving thanks, then we should give these people a reason to be thankful for being alive, and why you are thankful for having them in your life.

    I've never written a card before, but I might start thanks to you. Thank you for the great idea!
    primalclaws1974 likes this.
  3. wulfman

    wulfman Senior Contributor

    Yes addicts that live alone and are isolated with no money have it especially tough this time of year. That is why family support is so important. But sometimes even family members give up after repeated attempts to try and help someone. What do you mean by make a Christmas card for everyone you've lost ? You mean people you don't keep in contact with anymore because they became addicts ? I guess a card would make them feel appreciated even if it is just for that moment. They know they are in your thoughts.
  4. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    I recall an horrible image on a Christmas eve when I was coming from the family reunion and I saw a drug addict crossing the road, I really felt sorry for him at that time. :(
  5. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    That is a great idea to get in touch with the people you used to know and get in touch before.
    Right that holiday seasons seem to be a sad season for those who get into addiction and lost their loved ones beause of it. But as you said, as long as you are alive, there is hope.
  6. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    May you be blessed a thousand fold for doing something that brings peace and forgiveness to others. Reconciliation lightens up the mind, heart and spirit.

    I believe that holding grudges is quite a heavy load. It will take its toll on the body because you carry so much ill feelings inside. Negative emotions, like hatred, bring about illnesses. It's like stress,; it weighs you down.

    Hence, your idea should be practised by everyone, drug users or not. We just have to think of the right time to do it.
    proldani likes this.
  7. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Very well put. I think the mentality of hoping without expecting is the best way to approach it. As for the holidays, I agree that it can be tough but there is no other way around it but to acknowledge the emotions and try whatever would work to help solve the problem or alleviate the negative feelings without having to resort to drowning it with substances.
  8. proldani

    proldani Member

    By helping people in disgrace, we remind ourselves about one of the many reasons why exist, which is making a difference in the lives or others, and they don't have be part of our family.
    notodrugs likes this.
  9. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    It depends on the kind of drug addicts you're talking about. I mean, some of those who have gone beyond the point of redemption won't even have the presence of mind to remember that it's already nearing Christmas. On the brighter side, I think this time of the year provides substance abuse users the opportunity to recall their faults and ponder about how to make a fresh start next year. This time of the year gives off especially good vibes, you know.
  10. kevinkimers

    kevinkimers Community Champion

    You would make the card for both people you lost because of your addiction and for those you lost because of theirs.

    I got the idea from a situation I had. I got into a terrible fight with a friend once. She refused to speak with me after that. A couple of years went by and I thought... what the heck. So I made her a card. It had a simple picture on the front of a china set. Inside I wrote "Friendship is like fine china, too precious to break". She showed up at my door the day she got it with tears in her eyes and we became friends again. Sometimes the simplest things can touch a person's heart enough to mend the breach.
  11. kevinkimers

    kevinkimers Community Champion

    Whether we were at fault or not for the breach, sometimes we just have to be the one to step forward first.
    notodrugs likes this.
  12. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    You are very right kevinkimmers. You're actually doing yourself a favor for making the first move. Forget about pride. It is not worth the peace and contentment that you will feel after. You do not only make yourself happy, but the other person as well. And if your rift has affected other people, they too will feel good about it. This is so true with family conflicts. Everyone else gets affected, even kids are dragged into the picture. Resolving the issues by doing the first move is setting them a good example.
  13. kevinkimers

    kevinkimers Community Champion

    I could not have said it better myself. Being to be the first to step up and say your sorry is the hardest thing to do, but sometimes it just has to be done. Nothing is worth losing friends and family over (unless it is a very heinous act). Life is full of enough troubles and problems... losing friends and family members should not have to be part of it.
    notodrugs likes this.
  14. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    There are quite a few volunteers that help in this time of year, sacrificing their personal time so that others have the minimum, I think this is totally noble from them.
  15. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    I agree, the holidays are a bad time for a lot of people. It does make them think of what they lost and that maybe their life is going nowhere. Unfortunately, it is a time of year that the suicide rates are high. If anyone knows anyone that gets depressed around the holidays, please try and console them. Let that person know they are not alone. Make them feel that the future still has hope, and they can beat their addiction with the love, compassion and encouragement of those around them. Don't let your friend or family member become another bleak holiday statistic.
  16. juliaintheclouds

    juliaintheclouds Active Contributor

    That is a very lovely idea for people who are in despair during the holidays. I love the idea of volunteering during the holidays, at a soup kitchen or anywhere else. It can take your mind of your own suffering and give you a sense of pride in yourself while also helping others.
  17. kima

    kima Member

    For many, the holidays are a time of cheer and goodwill. For others, it can be a time of depression and loneliness. There are many ways to help these people out. Volunteering can give you a sense of fulfillment. Let them know that there are people out there who care about their well being and safety. Give a gift to someone who you know is suffering. During the holidays, people should come together to support each other and overcome hardships. It will not be easy, but confronting the issue is better than ignoring it.