New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary.18th seperated and by myself for 3rd straight

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by True concern, May 5, 2018.

  1. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Today is very emotional for me and i long for her touch,her voice,her breathe,her smell,her embrace,the sound of her heart beat as i lay my head on her chest,the smile on her face as i walk in the door,the glance into my eye's that said more than her lips ever could.I long for these thing's with the knowledge i will probably never have any of that again and i have addiction to thank for that.That hurt is indescribable,the emptiness I'm left with again was given to me from addiction.Learn from me people that substance you struggle with will eventually rip your heart out and never think twice about it.Fight for yourselves and don't let addiction leave you alone or dead.God Bless each and everyone of you
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @True concern i'm sorry you're going through this. i imagine it is heartbreaking... thank you for sharing this with us... means a lot that you could share your grief here. wish i had something to say to make it all better, but know that i am here to listen...and i care.

    thank you for all your kindness here in the forum and sharing your story with everyone..and encouraging everyone. i see God working in and through your life, and that's amazing.

    i know tomorrow may be rough... and i pray you'll find some peace amidst the struggle.

    sending up a prayer for you now...
    True concern likes this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Thank you very much,nothing more meaningful than a prayer because they are evidence of genuine concern.Take care
    Dominica likes this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    True concern likes this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Yesterday was tough very tough,i found myself thinking about a liquor store parking lot for a tall can,however through that insane thought i was talking with @CMMW and decided that I would instead attend my first NA meeting which i plan to attend tonight
  6. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @True concern good that you didn't cave to that temptation!!! you are going to meeting tonight? awesome!

    let us know how you like it....
    True concern likes this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Sorry you're struggling, @True concern. But I will give you credit for deciding to attend your first NA meeting instead of the liquor store. That's huge. I, too, will say a prayer for you.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Dominica @deanokat thank you so much for your support as i have been sharing my stories i to have been learning to be receptive and i pray my struggle not only helps other's but also continues to help me as it has been and i truly believe it will.Thanks again and God Bless you Both.And a special thanks to @CMMW as i didn't even realize this individual was reading between the line's and said thing's that indeed made a difference for me yesterday and has convinced me to sit infront of other's for the first time in my life and share my story face to face as i was really struggling with that decision, so again thank each and everyone of you
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  9. Ripted

    Ripted Member

    I am in the same boat except it is my 26th anniversary and have been separated for 2 plus years. I have lost everything, family, childrens trust, finances, and i made quite a bit. But most is my own self esteem and worth. I sit here this morning, out of my meds early, cant move, but my employment hanging by a thread, and wonder how i got here. Good student, wonderful children, educated, pta, and thought i could handle it, for a while, it made all ok, now, 10 years later, i am a recluse, liar, and full of self disgust. Please tell me something works, because i have tried everything....my heart breaks for the past.
  10. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Ripted hello and welcome. thanks for reaching out.... sounds like you are at your rock bottom, and the only way to go from here is up.... even if it's a tiny bit at a time... time to draw a line in the sand and say "no more!" and figure out what you haven't tried and get to trying again.

    curious as to what you have tried... you say you tried everything... what entails everything?

    addiction got you there.... addicted can be powerful...so don't beat yourself up anymore. addiction is a monster, but YOU aren't. you are a good soul... a sacred spirit who has simply lost sight of the real you. ask the god of your understanding to start peeling back the layers so you can begin working through them... to begin healing...to begin seeing with spiritual eyes... to reconnect with your essence... your good self...your goodness.

    lots of things "work".... but what works for one might not work for another. so your task is to navigate your journey to figure out what works FOR YOU. your task is to keep trying, no matter how crappy you feel. your task is to try something, try another, try them all.... pray, ask to be guided...surrender.... trust...

    and i always say get professional help. cuz we all need some big time help sometimes... an addiction specialist who has a good reputation... who will challenge you and be compassionate too....

    anyway, won't go on and on, but welcome you here. we will journey with you and hold space for you as you begin a new chapter of your life.... never any judgment. only love here....
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  11. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Ripted... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry that you're struggling so mightily, but the fact that you found us and posted here tells me that you truly want to change. So that is encouraging to me.

    @Dominica has given you some excellent advice and I agree that seeing an addiction specialist would be a good idea. Although you say you've tried everything, I know there is something you haven't tried that will work for you. Or something you have tried that will work for you if you try it again with a little more effort. I'm a firm believer that if you mix willingness and hope enough times, you can achieve anything. And that includes long-term sobriety.

    If you don't mind, give us a little more background on your situation. What substance are you addicted to? What methods have you tried to overcome your addiction? Etc.

    We're here to help you navigate through your issues. There are lots of caring, compassionate people here who have a pretty good idea of what you're going through. You are not alone, my friend. So please reach out and lean on us anytime you need to, okay?

    Sending you positive, clean & sober vibes. And tons of hope, encouragement, and love.