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Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Samina, May 2, 2016.

  1. Samina

    Samina Member

    Yesterday i lost my best friend. For years i watched her struggle with addiction, first alcohol, weed, cocaine and prescription meds which she used to buy illegally. Time after time went to the doctors for referral to mental health team, 3 years she waited she was seriously depressed. Im not going too lie sometimes i would get so angry with her i struggled to deal with her, she was a handful my husband hated her and would forbid me from seeing her, which i could understand as for all the time i knew her i had enabled her, i couldnt say no to her and she was really persistent. The day before she passed away i said to her that i couldn't help her until she was going to try and i told her that i could not talk with her when my husband was there. She asked me for money and i said im not doing it anymore, thats it. She was going to a party she would meet random men on a dating site and hook up At this party she would have access to coke alcohol and she also had sleeping pills. We dont know exactly what she took, she was found on the sofa in the morning already dead. I cant believe that she is gone, she wont never be knocking my door down in the middle of the night no more desperate calls when she was having a bad come down. I was sick and tired but i never wanted her dead. She was beautiful, kind, caring , annoying but she was my friend, she was 29 she had 2 beautiful kids.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Samina... I'm so sorry to hear about your best friend's death. Addiction is a horrible disease and it takes far too many lives much too early. But please know that none of this is your fault. Al-Anon teaches us that we didn't cause our loved one's addiction, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. That's just the nature of the disease.

    I will keep you and everyone affected by your friend's death in my thoughts and prayers. Nobody deserves to feel the pain caused by addiction. Not the addict, not their family, not their friends.

    Sending you peace and hugs during this trying time.

    Mamabear likes this.
  3. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    I'm so sorry @Samina for your loss. You sound like you were a really good friend but never put the blame on anyone but on the monster called addiction.

    She was not privileged to get the help she needed but you can treasure her memory by ensuring her little ones remember their mother for good and avoid following the dark path in the future.

    Wishing you peace.
  4. Sealpikachu

    Sealpikachu Member

    I am very sorry for your loss. The fact that you came here talks abot how much you cared for her. Also, never feel guilty, you had to look out for yourself as well. Many times we try to help others so much that we forget about ourselves.