So this is my first time sharing here, matter of fact it's my first time sharing any of my drug addiction woes with anyone . I'm 30 years old I run a successful carpentry business with 4 employees, I have a 7 month old daughter and a beautiful girlfriend who's a wonderful mother to my daughter . I work hard, I'm very amicable, I pay my bills and I try to be a good person . I mean I got it pretty good. But let's be real here I'm not on this forum because I was surfing the web or stumbled across this site. I'm a full blown coke head, using 4-5 times a week sometimes starting at 8am and going until 3am . Last night I blew my family off to go snort an 8ball and drink a 26er of whiskey. ( I'm not trying to sound cool here just being honest) I awoke in my truck at 3am this morning with no recollection of what transpired after 4pm that day, vague flashes but nothing concrete. I don't know how I'm not in jail or how I didn't kill someone . Or how I managed to not lose everything I hold dear to me in one fell swoop. Needless to say my girlfriend's not happy as this isn't the first time I've pulled this . I was given my packing orders this morning. I need help. This has been going on for 7 years now.