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Trying so hard

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Marie1221, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. Marie1221

    Marie1221 Member

    hi, I'm new to sobriety. I tried to kick my habits a month ago after backing my car into a light post (not the first time I've hit something while under influence, unfortunately) but I couldn't keep. After a week of staying away from drugs and alcohol I went right back to it just a few drinks, then the next day, then the day after that I'm sharing a bottle of Jamison and railing an eight ball until 7 AM. Long story short, I can't keep doing this to myself. My back teeth are rotting from cigs and drugs, I've done things I never would have done sober within this last year, my body is tired and my emotions are shot. I'm three days now and I want to stick to this. Unfortunately I think I to quit my good paying job (around a lot of alcohol and coworkers using) and stay at my minimum wage which is depressing and makes me want to drink anyways.
    Please, how do I stay sober/clean? How do I keep making myself go to meetings? Just looking for any advice, thank you.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Marie1221... Welcome to the community, thanks for sharing with us, and congratulations on your three days of sobriety. That may not seem like a lot of time, but you're building a foundation for your recovery one day at a time. And that's a wonderful thing.

    You mentioned in a comment on another thread that you think you need to stay away from your friends who use in order to keep yourself sober. I think that's definitely a great idea. If being around them is going to be a trigger for you to use, then stay away. You have to keep your own well-being in mind and do what's best for YOU.

    Staying sober/clean isn't easy. It takes commitment and a lot of hard work. Going to AA, NA, or SMART Recovery meetings is a great tool, not only for support, but for accountability, too. You just have to make yourself go. And the more you go, the more of a habit it will become.

    Maybe look into an intensive outpatient program (IOP), too. They can be super helpful, especially in early recovery.

    There's no "one size fits all" when it comes to getting and staying sober. You have to find what works for you. The most important thing is to keep taking steps in the right direction, no matter how small those steps are. Because even baby steps will eventually get you to where you want to be.

    I'm sending you lots of positive juju, hope, and encouragement. You can do this. I know you can. Take things one day at a time, or even one hour or minute at a time. Whatever keeps you moving forward towards recovery.

    Love and light to you. You are not alone.
  3. Marie1221

    Marie1221 Member

    Thank you so much for your response, I’ve made it another day! I’m considering going back to meetings, I just feel so guilty because after three meetings I messed up and have been too nervous to go back. Which is silly, I know.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Marie1221... You are very welcome. And congrats on making it another day!

    Please don't feel guilty about slipping up. Relapse is part of the disease of addiction, and I guarantee that everyone at a support meeting knows that. I'm pretty damn sure that they'll welcome you back with open arms. They are there to help, not judge.

    Keep doing the next right thing. And know I believe in you 100 percent. :)
    True concern likes this.
  5. @Marie1221 ...Don't feel guilty. It is very important for you to remember that you are not a bad person; it is the addiction that is creating havoc in your life. As you add more days of sobriety, your life will begin to change. You will be able to make changes in your job situation also. Keep going to AA meetings. In the meetings, share your experience as much as possible, take suggestions, ask for phone numbers and stay connected. Try and get away from bad company. Wish you all the best.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Marie1221... I'm thinking about you today. If you get a chance, check in and let us know how you're doing.