I've been smoking on and off for 6-7 years now. Only about 2 years ago I started smoking less frequently. Since then, when I smoke I think differently. I realize things about myself, and my surroundings that I don't while sober. I have access to parts of my brain that allow me to think from another perspective. Since I'm all about personal growth and learning about myself, I've become addicted to the high that marijuana gives me. Not because it makes me mellow but because it teaches me things. The thing is that I'm not capable of smoking ocasionally. When I buy weed, I can't seem to have that bag hanging around without touching it. I'm also a lone smoker, I don't like smoking with people unless they think like me. I like to be in my own thoughts. When I realize things, often things I need to change, I get motivated and promise myself to quit and to then act on these changes. I can't make these changes while high because they are often social changes. So I quit and the motivation stays for a few days but then fades away as my sobriety comes back. Then I start smoking again and have all these plans that just fade away everytime I quit. I'm stuck in this pattern and I want to get out. Either by being able to smoke occasionally or by quitting altogether but keeping the motivation. What ends up happening is I buy a couple grams, smoke everyday until the bag is empty, quit, and repeat. My situation is probably different than others but I would love to know how to approach this in another way to get what I want.