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Understand You Do Not Suffer Alone

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by akiram13, Feb 13, 2016.

  1. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    Please always consider when you allow yourself to fall into addiction. You are affecting the people around you. You might think its my life my body my decision which isn't the right mindset. Sometimes people will not show the heart break of watching someone you love abuse themselves.

    Falling into addiction will affect more people than you may believe. Consider these people who will suffer with you. These people are the people who will in the end help you stand.
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2016
    Novelangel likes this.
  2. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I think we have to remember that addiction is a disease though - and I think branding addicts as selfish can do more harm than good, really. No one would tell someone with cancer or diabetes that they were selfish - as someone who battled with being an alcoholic, yes, it was hard on my loved ones, but so are other diseases.

    Sorry if I sound a bit defensive, I just hate when people say that addicts are selfish when there's so much more to it than that.
    Rainman likes this.
  3. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    While it is true that an addict affects not only themselves but everyone around them, the fact they've sank into addiction in the first place, will also mean they don't actually care.

    They dint care about themselves, the people around them or anything else. The only thing they'll care about is their substance of choice, and that's why it's very hard to get through to people, who don't want to be helped.
  4. rz3300@

    rz3300@ Senior Contributor

    There are a couple of different ways that you can use that, in my experience at least. Knowing that other's are at stake as well can be a good motivating factor to get better, but it can also lead to a fair amount of guilt so it is necessary to be careful. Support is always helpful, though, and we all need someone to help us.
  5. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I think that when you're an addict you should be as selfish as possible, contrary to popular belief. You have to anything in your power to not relapse, even if that means isolating yourself from everyone or whatever. I agree though, if you relapse you will hurt the people around you. Take care!
  6. Okaviator

    Okaviator Senior Contributor

    Support is always a good idea. In my case when I was quitting, all support did was make me feel guilty. In many cases though support is very key and helpful.
  7. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    I cannot say the same for everyone. I have based this from my own experiences. I do not intend to offend. Because when i look back now and see how hard the pulled through for me and how hard they cared. All of the things i took for granted and for my attitude. Believing i had only been hurting myself. When now i see it i was selfish of my own thoughts and feelings i forgot about the people i loved most. Til this day i am doing what i can to make them proud and to make up for how bad i brought myself down.
  8. BallOfWorry

    BallOfWorry Member

    Getting addicted would be selfish if one could choose to not get addicted, no matter the circumstances. Most if not all people don't really believe that'd happen to them. After all many people drink alcohol, for example, in pretty large quantities on parties etc. and never suffer that.

    I resent that! I could just as well make up a story that an addict becomes addicted because everyone around them doesn't care to not let them. If you want to tell a personal story, don't paint it as universally "true" and a "fact". It's simply offensive. I cared a great deal about people around me and I couldn't socialize with them without a drink, and I felt some needed me.
  9. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Many addicts don't start using drugs and continue doing so because they are selfish. Think of the people who are depressed and believe that drugs might be the answer they seek. These people aren't selfish. They are in fact trying to "cure" themselves so they can live normal lives like everyone else.

    And there are many who use drugs just so they can avoid facing reality. They've tried all they can and when they couldn't fight anymore they turned to drugs. While it might appear that addicts are selfish, most of them are fighting battles no one else knows anything about . . .
    kassie1234 likes this.
  10. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    The problem of becoming an addict is that you really cannot think clearly anymore. You don't understand that you make the people who love you suffer as well. You feel as though you're alone and that no one knows what you really feel. And that is just how drugs work to destroy your family as well. It alienates you from the people who care about you.

    Regarding the selfishness of drug addicts, hmmm...I think it's a touchy subject. I'd say some addicts use drugs out of their problems and think that it's a way out. For some other addicts, they started because they just wanted to see the fun in it. So in a way, it depends in the person and it varies from situation to situation.
  11. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Agree with you 110%!! You summed up exactly what I was thinking in a perfectly eloquent way!
    Rainman likes this.
  12. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Addicts don't really care if they hurt the people that love them, all they care about is that they get their fix. They already know that drugs is bad for them, but they still take it, so if they don't care about their bodies in the first place, then don't expect them to care about other people as well.
  13. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    If one becomes addicted to alcohol, they may even not in to work hence affecting those who depend on them. Others become abusive after taking alcohol. But we still need to talk to them and make them understand how they usually misbehave after taking alcohol.
  14. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    You can resent it as much as you want, it makes no difference. If an addict doesn't want to be helped, no matter who wants to help them, then they won't be helped.

    Speaking as an ex-addict of numerous substances myself, and now having spent nearly 8 years helping in rehab centres and helping people affected by drugs, both the addicts and the families, then I think I have a right to my point of view and feel qualified to give it.

    Sorry if your offended, but in my experience, that IS the case in the majority, so maybe your story is the exception, rather than mine.
  15. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    I saw a comment here saying how we don't really realize and see reality of how we affect our families while under the influence. In my case, that was it. I couldn't see or didn't care enough to see how bad I was hurting the people I love. Maybe you call all say this is how I beat myself up these days by considering my downfall a selfish act. I use it to motivate myself into being better and to making up for what I had put my family through. I have always had a big heart and cared for others more than myself and it surprises me how far I fell.

    I dont want to ever become that person again. I dont want to be weak to my craves and addictions to get away from everything. I wont push my family away anymore. Now that I have gotten past it all I have a different outlook on what I went through.

    For those offended by this I hope this sums it up. When I post threads or comments I do it from my own experiences. Forgive me if I threw out my words without a thought to how others may see it. GOD Bless
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is right that in addiction, there are several people that will or can suffer and not just the addicted person. One can use those people around him to avoid addiction or get out of it. These are usually the family members and friends.
  17. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    What about those other people that became addicted to a certain drug because they needed them for a time, like pain killers for example? I am not defending them or anything but I think it's just not fair to brand them as selfish.
  18. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Nobody start abusing a drug, no matter what it is by choice, addiction is usually something that creeps up on you without you realising it.

    A person would rarely say I'm going to take this drug and only care about myself from now on. They'll take the drug a few times and still have the same feelings end emotions as what they've always had towards their friends and family, they don't take that drug to hurt them purposely.

    Once the addiction as taken over though, it wipes away people's feelings to the point when you don't care about others. That's just because your too preoccupied in looking after yourself and on how your going to get your next hit.
  19. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    Alright seeing as this forum has offended many of you. I will apologize and correct my self. I am not branding people with addiction as selfish. More on how I see or saw myself for putting my family through that. I hope this can be understood. Although I felt useless in the matter at the time I wish I could have picked my self up sooner than to put my loved ones through everything. Once again when I write its coming from my experience and what I felt. So I apologize if it comes out saying otherwise but I do not see people with an addiction as selfish. But I see my self as selfish when I could see my loved ones hurt and fighting for me as I turned my back on them.
  20. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    Great point. Not only does drug or alcohol abuse potentially have negative impacts on one's own life, it also potentially has negative impacts on the people close to them. Their children, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, and others will most likely also be impacted by their drug and/or alcohol abuse.

    This is why it is important for addicts reading this forum to quit now, while you can! Do not let addiction get to the point where you are not only ruining your life, but the lives of your family and friends as well. The damage may even be reversible if you quit now.