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Unhealthy way of dealing with emotions.

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by anorexorcist, Jul 26, 2015.

  1. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    My dad was raised on a 'mexican macho' way so he barely shows any emotions, but when something big happens (like the death of a loved one) he drinks a lot, and that's his way to deal with hard situations, so that made me think a little bit... Those ways to not express emotions not only happens with males, but a lot of people drank up their emotions instead of expressing them or deal with them in a more 'healthy' way, I know that is something that's not going to change but I'd like to read some of your opinions about this topic, Is directly involved the way that people were raised? Or there's a social thing happening?
  2. harold

    harold Community Champion

    You are right, many people tend to deal with emotions in this way. What is notable about the situation is that many people turn to alcohol to celebrate, and at the same time to handle difficult emotions. I know a couple of friends who will call me on phone and insist that we go and take alcohol when they are bored. I believe that this way of dealing with emotions can best be explained by the way one is brought up. If you see traumatized friends or relations run to alcohol, you are likely to try the same thing tomorrow when you fall into the same situation. Society, with the exception of people who don't take alcohol, has adopted this way of life. It is so difficult to see someone who takes alcohol handle difficult emotions in a different way. Even occasional drinkers do this. It is a way that society has adopted and as unhealthy as it is, there is very little that one can do about it. I just wish that people could learn to handle emotions in a different way.
  3. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Well, in Mexican culture (specially) most of those old-fashioned super macho men tend to deal with their emotions drinking. So if he is Mexican then there is a big chance that's what is going on. In other cultures with a prevalent macho culture they don't seem to have a specific way to deal with that fink of situations, but Mexicans do. Most Mexicans drink during the weekend. In Mexican society drinking is not seen as something so negative, not like in other cultures where drinking is looked down on.
  4. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Drinking is unfortunately the way a lot of people tend to deal with hurt in their lives. I have done it before in the past and those problems will still be there waiting for you when you get sober again. Some cultures view drinking as an acceptable way of life, while in others, it is frowned upon. It is much harder to get someone to quit drinking when it is widely accepted in their country. The best thing you can do is be there for your dad and ask him to open up to you.
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I agree drinking is the way so many people deal with so many situations in life. They will drink to celebrate, they will drink because they are bored, they will drink to socialize and they will drink to deal with their problems and hurts. Drinking to deal with a problem only makes it worst. People always say they drink to forget but you don't forget. It just puts more emphasis on the problem. The more you drink the more you think of it. It has the reverse effect. People say they drink to numb the pain but the pain is still there.

    I wish you all the best with your Dad. Be there for him when he needs you and maybe talking would help him deal with his emotions. It is hard to change old habits though.
  6. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I have found that when I drink hard alcohol my hurts and problems are worse than when I am sober because I voice exactly what I am thinking. It is problematic and I do not drink when I am feeling upset because it only compounds things. The only time I really drink now is when I am in a happy mood. I am not violent or anything but get really emotional and upset.
  7. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    My family and friends dealt with loss in the same manner. It's just the way it's been with most people. We can all try and wallow in sorrow and turn to the bottle to cope with the emotions. Or what I notice people are doing is actually celebrating life and actually having fun and talking about the positive things that person has brought into their lives.
  8. Zimbitt

    Zimbitt Senior Contributor

    Its both, men are told not to cry or show emotion but they are raised to be shown drinking is fine, them drinking is a way for them to feel their emotions and not be judged.
  9. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    I think this is Mexican culture, but I can also find the same mentality in my country as well. Most males and even females deal with depression the same way: drinking. Healthy? Not much. Effective? It probably is since they consider it has effects. I don't condone drinking to deal with your emotions, don't get me wrong.
  10. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Escapism is no solution to dealing with things like grief or conditions like depression. Regardless of how someone is raised, you'll still feel pain when you lose someone and the healthiest way to deal with the problem is to allow yourself to feel that pain. Face it head-on and let time be the balm. In time the pain will fade though not entirely.

    Attempting to use alcohol to deal with grief would mean a lifetime of addiction unless you learn how to cope with your loss [accept what happened and move on].
  11. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Most men think that crying or showing emotions in front of other people is a sign of weakness. Also, sometimes, people would just resort to drinking because they don't want to explain and elaborate why they are feeling sad or in pain, that's why they'll just turn to alcohol. It's just their coping mechanism.
    kjones likes this.
  12. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I find that men in general are really hard to get to open up. They would have less stress and suicide rates if they would learn to talk about their feelings a little more. My OH is a very private person, sometimes to the extreme that it puts a strain on our relationship. Alcohol will not solve your problems, will only make them worse.
  13. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    People have different ways of dealing with there emotions. Drinking would probably be the worst way to deal with grief. If you bottle up your feelings they'll come out eventually. It's best to find a positive way to channel negative emotions. I've seen people drink to relieve stress and be alright at times, but at a certain time go nuts when they get drunk.
  14. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I've always admired people who face their problems sober. You have to be a real strong person to take on your problems head-on, and not try to smooth them out using drugs or drinking alcohol. Me, I'm a chicken. Everytime something comes up that I can't handle, I always run crying trying to find a bottle. I'm weak.
  15. BigSnoop

    BigSnoop Member

    yea i do believe that if you go to drinking to solve your problems, that is a very unhealthy way to deal with your emotions and can also lead do a dangerous lifestyle, I have seen it happened right before my eyes and it is not a pretty sight.
  16. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think many people often turn to alcohol instead if showing emotion. In a way it's their way of dealing with things, and although it's not healthy, depending on that person's background and how they have been brought up, it's the only way that they know.