Although I used heroin plenty especially back in the day somehow I never got addicted to it. But I did get addicted to alcohol. I can't really explain how that happened. I was also addicted to inhalants and a bunch of other things but managed to avoid heroin as one of my "problem drugs." Why do different drugs have different effects on different people? Maybe I just wasn't doing the right stuff I'm not saying it's not addictive or anything. I know it is. But just wondering why I went for alcohol more than H. Maybe it was the money too.
Hi mannyme, Good question. I can't really begin to explain why different drugs have different effects on people because I think it's a combination of our physical/psychological reaction and general preferences. I will tell you from my personal experience as a recovering heroin addict, alcohol (also a depressant) was never my "problem drug". I tried every single drug on the list until I found my ULTIMATE problem Here's the thing, though. Despite the fact that I technically never abused alcohol (drank socially - did not have issues controlling myself), I know the POTENTIAL for me to abuse any mind/mood altering substance is through the roof. So I just stay away from all of them. I have no doubt I could become an alcoholic....because I'm addicted to altering my state of mind, period. I hope that makes sense!
Remember that there is a difference between addiction and dependence. People typically don't just walk away from using heroin, at least not what I've seen in my experience. And I'm glad you didn't get the "right stuff". I did, and it almost killed me on several occasions. Everyone has their own preferences as far as it comes to drugs. Yours just happened to be alcohol. I was a heroin addict for years and would very rarely drink, even though it was cheaper and more readily available.
That's really disheartening. When you reach that certain age bracket, that should be your peak in life -- you can succeed in your career or even start a family. I just hope that this forum can reach more people so help can be given, especially to those young women.
I'm going to go out on a limb with my honesty...I've always had a very addictive personality. I'm a product of hippie parents and my mom used to do acid when she was pregnant with me, as well as blowing pot smoke in my face as a baby to help me sleep. Sadly drugs have been a part of my life...my entire life. I would usually go through phases of what I enjoyed and have tried everything I can think of...recently I was introduced to Heroin by my neighbor and have mixed thoughts about it. At first I couldn't understand what the big deal was about it, as it really had no effect on me..at least it didn't affect me the way it did my neighbors. I guess the only reason I do it is because it helps with my chronic back issues. I am on prescription drugs as well, but H has an overall good feeling on my body. I suppose that's no surprise...but it actually makes me productive. I clean my house, I do my work and in general put it to some particular use. When my neighbors run out..they get sick. If I don't have any, it really doesn't bother me like that. It's not something I do on a daily basis, but I have been doing it more frequently lately. I'm not sure why I do it..it's a huge waste of money and I often get angry and annoyed with myself...but yet I still look forward to getting more. It's not my first drug of choice...but in this current phase...it's not my last either. I feel terrible that I'm not ready to give it up...what type of person does that make me?
The kind of person who will make the right decision when the chips are down, hopefully. Knowing you have a problem is the first step to overcoming, or so Doc Cliche tells me. If you really want to get off, maybe you might be able to wean yourself down over a few weeks. If you're not using as much as they are to begin with, you might even have a relatively easy time getting off. But don't be afraid to seek professional help if you think you need it. Nobody has to go through this alone.
You didn't mention how you were consuming it - smoking it? injecting? That makes a big difference. Also, whilst different drugs do indeed tend to affect different people differently due to brain chemistry, metabolism, body weight, etc, there's also the level of purity to consider. Batches tend to vary quite a lot in purity and where it comes from also makes a difference. The purity of heroin in one city could be double the purity that is in another city. It also depends what other substances it has been cut with.
An honest one....a smart one. Oh! Yeah. A human one, too. This couldn't have been easy to share, so I'm really glad you posted it, Sara. I didn't try heroin and immediately start using it on a daily basis. It was a process. It made me throw up for a long time. But afterward I always felt amazing. Not just physically, but emotionally....AND it made me a "better me". At work, school, whatever it was. I felt productive. So I understand exactly what you're talking about. I fell in love with it while telling myself THE ENTIRE TIME what an idiot I was for doing it. But I didn't do it every day! ...and I didn't get sick without it! I wasn't a junkie, I just snorted it! I wasn't doing all of the crazy things everybody else around me did to get heroin, either. I thought I was smarter than them. Better. Or maybe I just couldn't imagine ever becoming "that" kind of person, you know? As it turned out, I was SO MUCH WORSE than "that" kind of person. In less than a year I was sicker than them and doing crazier things to inject every cent I could get my hands on into my veins. The heroin you know right now is the same heroin "feel good productivity" I fell in love with. Trust me - it's the honeymoon phase. When it shows you what it really is and what it really does, you're not going to love it so much. It happened FAST. Before I really understood what was going on. YOU understand what's going on, Sara. You're a lot more honest with yourself than I was.
Again, that is literally the best way I've ever heard it described. It applies to so many of the drugs. Hell, it even applies to Benadryl, which I used to take to get to sleep, and that ended way better than it could have. The easiest thing for me to remember are the good parts of the drugs. How easily I used to fall asleep (something I still struggle with, honestly. I'm always tired nowadays) and how much brighter the mornings looked. Even the Monty Python movies used to seem funnier when I was influenced. So I guess kicking a drug is a lot like getting divorced. They'll both tear you in two and leave you wanting.
I would definitely call it a love affair. I know I felt betrayed when it showed me its true colors. I was sooo angry. Not only because it turned into a totally different drug than the one I fell in love with (wasn't making me feel the same way anymore with or without it), but because I knew the honeymoon was over. I grieved that loss in a real way. The same way I do when someone dies. I was shocked it happened, denied it was happening, became furious, tried to bargain with it, got incredibly depressed - I had to go through the whole process before I could accept what had happened. One of the reasons I fell in love with heroin was because I felt like I could rely on it. When I couldn't predict anything or control anything else (people in my life, my own self esteem, situations happening the way I wanted them to) - heroin was THERE. It was the best friend I could have ever asked for. It was a lie.
Grieving is different for every person that experiences it. But I felt much the same way when I realized that alcohol was ruining my life. It's such a cheap addiction, though. It's the easiest one to stick with, because the law is on alcohol's side. If alcohol led you astray, it's your fault. If you drank a bit, and then were simply a passenger in a car, you can get your license suspended. If you smell like beer after a party, goodbye life. On the other hand, you never have to worry about where you find your next fix. There are no dealers, only gas stations. If you fall off the wagon, the law only supports your habit, so long as you're buying it. As soon as you ingest it, you're screwed. "Hey, we love the taxes off the booze you drink. But screw you if you ever actually decide to drink the hooch we sell you."
I'm the same age group, and I would have to agree with this statement. I know a handful of guys and girls that do heroin on a regular basis. Some are addicted and others aren't...yet. It's easy enough to acquire, and it's not the most expensive drug around. :/
The only way I or my neighbors have consumed this is by snorting it..I'm guessing that is the least powerful method..I hate to say the safest because I know it is not safe at all in the first place! I understand what you are saying about the purity and the body differences..what affects one person doesn't always affect the next I suppose.
Wow, I'm so glad you understand what I feel like, I suppose I'm going through the honeymoon phase because you're saying exactly what I'm doing and thinking. It's funny you mention the throwing up..when I first tried it, it did make me throw up and I was asking myself and my friend, what on earth is so good about this? It's crazy..I often wish just life itself could make me feel as good as substances..
Wait you did not get addicted to heroin? I am quite surprised that never happened to you. I do not hear about people not getting addicted to heroin when they use it.
Oh yeah - I get it. Life is real. Sometimes it's beautiful, sometimes it sucks. Today my life was real - I feel genuinely good about it. Looking back I can say substances never made me feel genuinely good. They were always artificial. I just didn't understand the difference at the time. What makes you feel bad?