I am 4 months pregnant with my boyfriend who recently just relapsed. We have been off and on for a long time and I have seen him at his lowest and I have seen him clean. After finding out he relapsed I gave him an ultimatum that he needed to get clean and work a program or me and the baby are out. While I know this needs to be his choice and decision I am so scared. He says he has stopped as of 11 days ago. At first I believed him. He was really sick for a week and then started doing better. He seems to be getting sick again and twice now I have walked in on him with old cotton wet in a bottle cap. He says he keeps finding old stuff around and was going to get rid of it but I don’t believe him. I also found a q tip in his pocket with the cotton ripped off. Could he be doing something with the cotton? That’s the only paraphernalia I’ve found and to be honest I have snooped through his stuff multiple times (I know that is not right but I am desperate). I am pretty confident he’s still getting high but he won’t admit it. How do I get him to admit it? What do I do? Please help
So as an ex needle user myself I can tell you that dope does indeed stay in the cotton balls as they are never sucked completely dry,so if you find enough of them and re wet them you can get high as a kite without adding any dope.It sounds to me like he is struggling, stuck in between staying clean for you and the baby and not wanting to be sick anymore.I just read a story of a man who is trying to do the right thing but is currently trapped by the chains of addiction. If he didn't care I think you would find more than just cotton but you have to think about you and the baby obviously, in my opinion you and him need to have a serious talk without blaming or shaming....just heart to heart and let him know a child is on the way and it's gonna bring a new kinds life with it and that life is going to require 2 sober parent's so it can brighten up your lives and refresh the love in your heart's. Let him know one way or another he is going to have to be clean and at the very least go to N/A meetings where he can release some of his toxic feelings ,to vent and relate to other's struggling......To have a support network he can rely on,seperate from you and I believe if he tries those chains that confine him to the dope will come off 1 at a time....It won't be a fast process but nothing worth doing was ever done over night. Stay Strong and God Bless you Both....P.S.The baby as well
i used to [ut all of my cotton balls in a bag. when low or had alot of em then i used a few cotton balls. it really is an expensive habbit so i never wasted. but i dont see how a piece of a qtip can have enough in it.. i say ask him to pee, then po one on him random;y. thats a sure fire way to know. also, i think he really is tryin if he was sick for a week, sounds like a full physical detox to me. the next part...staying sober, thats whats hard. eventually those thoughts just nag and nag and the only way to stop it is to give in. then the process starts over. he needs support. cant just detox and go about your way. wish you could.
@Soberchick321 hello and welcome! Congratulations on your baby and getting sober. Sit him down and as tell him you are worried about him relapsing. Ask if he will get on MAT if he doesn't think he can do it. Just getting off drugs is not enough both of you would do well with some kind of counseling.
How do I get him to admit it?? That's something that shouldn't have worry about. They will do it in there own time. I wish there's was an easy answer. Take care of you. Hopefully they will fall in line.