Hello, I found this forum this morning and wanted to reach out and tell a little bit about myself. I was diagnosed with several medical issues in my early 20’s. I needed multiple surgeries which lead to pain med prescriptions. I have now been taking Vicodin (and sometimes oxycodone) daily for about 7 years. I’ve kept my dose at 5 10mg hydrocodone a day for the last 2 years or so. I don’t allow myself to go beyond that amount and this dosage simply keeps me “normal”. I no longer feel any effects from the medication... I simply take it to keep the withdraw symptoms away. I actually have to add in Advil for my kidney pain. Starting at 9 am I take one pill every 3 hours until 9 at night. I religiously stick to this schedule - if I start running low I panic. I have never crushed them, taken more than my normal dose at one time or anything like that. I’ve tried to stop taking pain meds before and I’ve never made it beyond day 3. I’ve come to a point where I hate the person I have become. I feel like I have no motivation and no energy. I’m not the mother or wife I should be. I feel like these pills have become the only thing I care about. It’s a bizarre obsession. I constantly calculate how many I have left and how many days they will get me through. I 100% realize this is not normal and it’s a huge problem. My husband knows about my addiction, but no one else does. I don’t really have the means to do inpatient treatment. I guess I’m looking for the best way to get myself away from this horrible cycle. I’ve tried cold turkey before without succes ... so I’m thinking a taper method would work best. I’m not sure how much to cut down each day ... I realize I’ll go through the horrific withdraw period no matter what I do. I’d really like to hear from others who have beat this ... i just hope there’s a chance I can function normally again without the meds. 7 years is a very long time.