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Vicodin/oxycodone addiction

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by Kenz7, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. Kenz7

    Kenz7 Member


    I found this forum this morning and wanted to reach out and tell a little bit about myself. I was diagnosed with several medical issues in my early 20’s. I needed multiple surgeries which lead to pain med prescriptions. I have now been taking Vicodin (and sometimes oxycodone) daily for about 7 years. I’ve kept my dose at 5 10mg hydrocodone a day for the last 2 years or so. I don’t allow myself to go beyond that amount and this dosage simply keeps me “normal”. I no longer feel any effects from the medication... I simply take it to keep the withdraw symptoms away. I actually have to add in Advil for my kidney pain. Starting at 9 am I take one pill every 3 hours until 9 at night. I religiously stick to this schedule - if I start running low I panic. I have never crushed them, taken more than my normal dose at one time or anything like that. I’ve tried to stop taking pain meds before and I’ve never made it beyond day 3. I’ve come to a point where I hate the person I have become. I feel like I have no motivation and no energy. I’m not the mother or wife I should be. I feel like these pills have become the only thing I care about. It’s a bizarre obsession. I constantly calculate how many I have left and how many days they will get me through. I 100% realize this is not normal and it’s a huge problem. My husband knows about my addiction, but no one else does. I don’t really have the means to do inpatient treatment. I guess I’m looking for the best way to get myself away from this horrible cycle. I’ve tried cold turkey before without succes ... so I’m thinking a taper method would work best. I’m not sure how much to cut down each day ... I realize I’ll go through the horrific withdraw period no matter what I do. I’d really like to hear from others who have beat this ... i just hope there’s a chance I can function normally again without the meds. 7 years is a very long time.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Kenz7... Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing with us. I'm glad you found us and reached out. And I'm really glad you're wanting to stop your dependence on Vicodin.

    We are not medical professionals. We are just a bunch of caring people who know a thing or two about addiction based on personal experience; or experience with a loved one's addiction. That said, I agree that tapering off the pills is the best idea. (Quitting cold turkey can be painful and dangerous.) But, unfortunately, we can't really recommend a taper plan. My best suggestion would be to either discuss your desire to taper off the meds with your prescribing doctor, or go see an addiction specialist. Addiction specialists are doctors who are thoroughly trained in all aspects of addiction and they can help you wean off of Vicodin while minimizing the withdrawal symptoms. If you're in the United States, you can find an addiction specialist in your area by using the "Find a Doctor" link on the American Board of Addiction Medicine's website. Here's that link:

    I commend you for wanting to improve your life and become a better mother and wife in the process. And I know you can overcome your dependence on Vicodin if you commit to doing so and do the necessary work. We are here to help and support you however we can, so if you need anything, don't hesitate to come back and lean on us.

    Sending you love, light, encouragement, and hope.
    True concern likes this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Your in luck,i have beat this as have many other's.I was taking 320mg's a day of Oxycontin and i did it cold turkey which is insane and i don't recommend for that particular kind of dose as it literally nearly killed me for27 straight day's.So I understand everything you are going through and trust me it's not an obsession you have it's an addiction,it control's your life on a 12 hour cycle and it's eating at you obviously.So 50mg's a day total.I will start by saying i am not a Dr so the advice i give you is from experience and you would definitely benefit from an addiction specialists,however at that dose i would cut 5mg's out every other day to minimize the withdrawal.Basically instead of taking that 10mg tablet at bed time break the pill in half and take 5mg's.Do that for two day's then push to every 4 hour's instead of 3 hour's so that 40mg's can be stretched over your12 hour cycle again do this for 2 day's and then again break the night pill in half for 2 more day's and so on until you get down to zero mg's.I use to do the constant count thing as well.i would have 20 pill's take one and recount them like it would still be 20...that's the addiction but there is a better life waiting for you afterwards.You will feel weak for a few week's but your strength will not only come back it will surpass the strength you have now.Stay Strong and God Bless Take Care
    Reluctantly Here likes this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Kenz7 hello and welcome! glad you are here and want to get off the pills. as dean said, we're not experts... so if you can get to an addiction specialist or doctor, please go. be honest and allow them to help you with a plan AND keep you accountable.

    besides the physical withdrawal, the psychological withdraw can be something. perhaps think about tackling that via therapy or a support group... and of course, this forum :)

    i do want to give you hope that you can get off the pills in due's not gonna be easy, but it will be worth it.... do whatever it takes for you to find that freedom...

    and, i know you say you hate who you have become, but try to remember that you are a beautiful and amazing soul....who struggles with addiction. YOU are not bad or wrong... YOU are lovely. my prayer is that you remember this always <3
  5. laura_p17

    laura_p17 Member

    I have experience with painkillers of all kinds and the addiction.

    Am I correct in understanding that even though you don't exceed the prescribed amount, you feel like the pills are running your life, not you?

    In my case, it's exceeding the dosage that's become a serious problem. Sticking to my 4 pills/a day actually does keep my physical pain under control.
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  6. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    It's a slippery slope when it comes to "Who or what is running your life" obviously there are people with serious medical conditions and they have no choice but to rely on pain meds,my mom has metal bars in her back so she needs pain meds for the rest of her life but there are times she will take more than she should and she says some day's she hurts more than other's so I try to take that into consideration, but I think anyone who needs them should do their best to remain honest about whether it's "Need or Want" otherwise the addiction gains strength and grows,Not be honest to be looked down on that just isn't the case but honest so those around you understand how to better help.I have a hard time with this myself especially since knee surgery and I consider myself sober at this point even though I have about 15 5mg Norco from my Dr which are for knee surgery so even though I say I am sober there are time's where I have to take 1 pain pill especially since I am supposed to be on crutches for another 2 week's, I simply CANNOT as my mom is in bad health so I must care for her as much as possible, however in the past I simply could not avoid taking more than I needed and this is how this forum has helped me,I probably have more threads than anyone in the past year and they range from sadness, confusion,deep emotional trauma,questions, etc whatever eats at me I post it even if it's not necessarily about getting high but it could trigger a relapse.I lean on the people of this site with everything and they have truly helped me to dig deep within my own heart and soul to start peeling back the layers so that I can be confident it is ME running my life and not my addiction.Its a journey that takes honesty,humility,and a true desire for a better more stable life,mind,body,and soul.
    Reluctantly Here and deanokat like this.