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Warn Your Parent

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by 6up, Aug 13, 2015.

  1. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Can a teen warn his parents about their daily alcohol consumption? Can that be seen as being disrespectful?
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I don't think it's disrespectful at all to be honest. If somebody is worried about a parent then I think they have every right to mention something, and the parent should take it the right way, and see that it'd just because the child is concerned.

    A lot of course depends on the relationship between them in the first place, but being honest and open when it comes to alcohol or substance abuse is the right thing to do.
  3. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I don't think it is disrespectful at all. I think that by bringing the subject up that he/she is showing that they care and that they have some concern about their alcohol consumption. How the parents handle it is another story. I think it is very important for children and parents to have an open line of communication between them at all time. It goes both way. There is nothing wrong with being open and honest with the people you love and care about.
  4. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    A parent who does this is not going to want their kid questioning or pointing this kind of thing out. My Dad drank just about every day and I said nothing. One night at the dinner table he exploded about it all by himself. "you think I'm an alcoholic!?!" I didn't even know what that word meant. I certainly found out by watching him slug down a few with dinner straight up on the rocks. Complain about his job.
    They teach learned alcoholism. Can't say that I stuck with that habit. I guess some people are happy in their brainwashed dumbed down state of denial. They don't realize that the reason why they are so nasty is because of their addiction. Work winds them up and then they come home to take it out on their kids. Can't do anything about it at work so picking on those who I can makes sense. Wow, a bully. Say something to your parents? Good question. Maybe get a pamphlet and put it out. Perhaps look them in the eye and say "do you know what alcoholism is?" Maybe show them the facts about what it does to you. Mine seemed and still seem to be in a zombie like trance of complete tunnel vision. Seems like a scary movie. Lol. Imagine what it was like as a child when you thought everything was your fault.
  5. sksmith094

    sksmith094 Member

    I agree with Adrianna here. A parent who is an alcoholic probably does not want to admit it or have anybody call him/her out on it! But that doesn't mean you shouldn't approach them about it, just do it in a way that won't get them heated and riled up. Adrianna hit the nail on the head.
  6. michaelrydell

    michaelrydell Member

    I don't think it's disrespectful. I think a child should be careful when opening a dialogue with their parent about this. All I could suggest is talking to them lightly at first, and gradually getting to the more serious points. Staying calm is important. Getting too dramatic and shoveling a ton of guilt right away will probably be too much for the parent to deal with, boxing them in, and they might turn to alcohol even more. Keeping the message that their is lots of hope, and love, and also way to recover and repair what what has been lost.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I don't think it's disrespectful, but @Adrianna is right. It's very likely that the parent will not want to hear it. My father was an alcoholic and I called him out on it a number of times while I was growing up. I think he got incredibly pissed off at me every single time, and on at least two occasions the anger escalated to him and I almost coming to blows.

    I think if a young person wants to talk to their parent about this issue, one of the best ways to do it is in a letter. Write them a note telling them how you feel and put it somewhere where they will find it. Maybe in the stuff they take to the office. I believe strongly in the power of the written word, and I think a heartfelt letter is something that most people will appreciate. But, of course... maybe I'm crazy. ;)
    Rainman likes this.
  8. Brady2121

    Brady2121 Active Contributor

    The letter idea is actually a really good route to take. I remember when my Mom wanted to tell Dad something (usually bad), she did it in a letter. And it always seemed to work out pretty good.
    deanokat likes this.
  9. michaelrydell

    michaelrydell Member

    I like the letter idea quite a bit too. Never occurred to me before, but I think it has impact at the right angle. Sometimes with the written word, like when writing in a journal, a person communicates more open and freely.
    deanokat likes this.
  10. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I think it is important that a child mentions it if they see a parent or both parents doing alcohol and abusing it, then they can talk about it, and hope the conversation can be positive and the parent talks to them about the problem. I reckon the letter idea is good as the child can leave it for the parent, and they can pour their feelings out so the parent can understand how the child feels so they can read the letter and understand it. It is interesting to see how the parent reacts and hopefully sees their actions are causing problems for everyone, and need to change their ways to improve their relationships in the long run.
  11. Emerson_B

    Emerson_B Active Contributor

    I do not think that its disrespect but its actually easier said than done. Although if it were to be done then confrontations like that should be avoided when the mom or dad is drunk or on the way to getting drunk. No matter how mad you are at that time, it is still best to avoid confronting them. It is best done when they are sober. Confronting a drunk person would be pointless since his emotions are too unstable. I would also agree with @deanokat that it can also be done through a letter.
  12. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    No, thats not being disrespectful at all. It's being caring and showing that the child cares about their parent. Some parents may get offended by it. But theres also the chance that it may shock some back to reality. Sometimes people let their drinking get out of hand without realizing it.
    deanokat likes this.
  13. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Young people it's assumed don't know much, haven't got the wisdom to advice anyone who is older than them. That's why parents won't listen to any advice offered by their kids. But that shouldn't deter any teen who is willing to talk to their parents about their addiction. Depending on the approach used, maybe the parent could decide to combat their addiction. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

    You could also try to get your grandparents to talk to them.
    deanokat likes this.
  14. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I don't consider that as disrespectful. Well, a teenager may be younger than their parents, but that doesn't mean they don't know about anything. Some people look old, but still act in a very childish way. Some people seem young, but they're wiser than their age. If the child is really concerned about his/her parent, I think it's best to approach their parent about it instead of not doing anything at all.
    deanokat likes this.
  15. henry

    henry Community Champion

    Of course not. Good advise can come from anyone, no matter their age. I believe the most effective advise can come from a son or a daughter, because it really hits the person hard when they realise how their children see them and how they're affecting their lives.
  16. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    In my house while growing up it was. I wouldn't dare tell my parent anything about their habits. That was like asking for death. I grew up around drugs and alcohol. Children weren't allowed to say anything to adults.
  17. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    Lucky for me I never had to see my parents use any alcoholic beverages nor narcotics. I was just raised to not get into adults business and to worry about going to school. I had relatives on my moms side of the family like uncles who would drink alcoholic beverages and that is it.
  18. hoverman

    hoverman Active Contributor

    I'm sorry to hear that @JoshPosh but I sincerely hope it didn't have any significant lasting effects on yourself. I think in any circumstance, people with alcohol addiction need help - and admission that they need help sometimes requires a hand or leg up too.

    That said, safety is more important, and it isn't worth putting yourself in danger if you can perceive a person acting a certain way. There would need to be a significant amount of preparation before you confront someone I feel.

    A technique I find helpful, is asking their perspective - what do they think about their drinking habits? If they are aware they drink too much, than really telling them they are doesn't help, and might even inflame them. Offering means by which to tackle the issue, like support groups or AA, might be a better route to take!
  19. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    What you said about people needing support groups or AA is so true. I never had any friend that had an alcohol or drug addiction but I feel if I did I would want the best for them. Even if I have to spend as much time with them to get them that help that would be good enough for me. Honest people are harder to find these days since most people tend to have the who cares type of mentality.
  20. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Disrespectful would only be used here if the child employs the wrong approach. Telling a parent about a problem in a warm and caring manner while alone together should in no way be seen as disrespectful. I don't imagine it would be easy as it's always expected that the parent should be the one helping the child. Yet I believe it is an expression of love to point out to your parents and by extension any older family member that they are on dangerous path.

    Not everyone can be reached with a word and it's on those occasions that I believe in heartfelt expressions being put on paper and presented to the people we love. I'd do anything to try to reach my parents to help them. I am hoping my son would do the same for me should I venture down a dangerous path.