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Was I Wrong?

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by Zaffira, Oct 12, 2018.

  1. Zaffira

    Zaffira Member

    I thought my husband had actually stopped using coke, but I guess he was just getting better at lying and hiding it from me. He's been lying to me for weeks about signing up for direct deposit of his paycheck (something HE suggested so I could keep him from using). There's always some excuse as to why his check wasn't deposited (it takes a really long time to set up at his job or they keep telling him it will be in there this week) and why he only has a little bit of money left (he had to pay his tool bill or his mother needed money).

    So again he got a regular check again yesterday and cashed it before I could see it, he never lets me see his pay stubs anymore and only gives me a little money to put towards the bills. Anyway, he comes to bed at 4:00 this morning and immediately starts shaking/twitching. Ok here we go again, I know what that means. I waited for him to fall asleep and I did something I never do, I grabbed his wallet. Before anyone gets mad about this, please know that he goes through my purse all the time looking for money.....tit for tat. I found $450 and a baggie of powder. I took them both and left him an "I.O.U." for it. Part of me feels really bad but the other part is really pissed off.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I don't blame you one bit for what you did, @Zaffira. Your husband has been deceiving you and you took some action. I hope he doesn't lose it when he finds out, though.

    It sounds like your husband needs some help. If he's not willing to get that help, or if he's not willing to try quitting on his own, you may have to make some tough decisions.

    Loving an addict is incredibly challenging. I'm sending you tons of love, light, and hope. Please take good care of yourself. Maybe consider hitting a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting. There's lots of help and comfort to be found there.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Zaffira I would be pretty upset too and I don't blame you for what you did. It's no fun to be lied to and taken advantage of. Sit down and have a real heart-to-heart, and let him know if this continued use is a deal-breaker. You deserve to have a healthy relationship that is built on trust. I hope that he will consider his ways and reach out for help.
    True concern and deanokat like this.