An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Welcoming the weekend.

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Dominica, Nov 9, 2018.

  1. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    The weekend is here!! How are you approaching it? With excitement? Kindness? Patience? Hope?

    Do you have any plans for the weekend that will nurture your soul? Your recovery? Love for you or loved ones?

    I'll be thinking of ya'll..... I'll be practicing self-care, nurturing myself at home, (unless my daughter has her baby, in which case, i'll be at the hospital lol)

    Sending positive thoughts and love to all reading this!
    True concern, lonewolves and deanokat like this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Happy Friday, @Dominica! My weekend started this morning when a friend of ours asked my wife and I if we could babysit for her sweet little 6-month-old daughter for a few hours. It was such a joy to have an adorable little baby in the house! (Although our cats may disagree with that assessment.) Between our 18-month-old neighbor boy and this little peanut of a girl, my wife and I get to have some quality time with little humans and we enjoy it sooooo much!

    I hope your daughter has her baby soon, and that the delivery is uneventful. And I'm so excited for your impending grandmotherhood! I hope you are, too!! :)
    True concern, Dominica and lonewolves like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @deanokat that's great you get to have that baby energy around so often!! they are little balls of heaven, huh?

    I hope my daughter delivers soon too, and yes, uneventful.... smooth sailing, quick labor.... I am excited!!
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  4. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I have been striving towards redemption, I have lost,destroyed,failed,and through support here my confidence, drive,and desire to make amends has hit an all time high.I went to see my wife,kids,grandkids I talked with my wife one on one ,I poured my heart out to her as I stared into her eye's, I told her to please not speak and just listen.I told her I can't change the past nor can I erase the memories, however I assured her I am not the man she remembers, I told her I only feel compassion,happiness,and joy there is no more rage,anger,or blame..I told her "lady you have been my heart and soul since the first time I glanced into her soul,I told her I don't seek to change the way she lives nor alter the thing's which bring her happiness "I told her regardless of the time we have been separated this past 3 year's my love has had nothing but time to mature and I only seek to give her my unconditional love and support.I let her know I don't expect to get back together and jump straight into bed rather I would love to sit and watch a movie with her as I hold her in my arms while she falls asleep,sexually I can wait but my true desire and joy would come from just holding her and feeling her body against mine as I held her close and felt her breath on my neck as she falls asleep in my arm's. I don't know it may sound cheesy but my love is real and I just want to hold her tight so she feels safe once again.She has not been with anyone since we separated over 3 year's ago and neither have I.I think there may be hope for us and she didn't hold back she let it be known she has given me so many chances and she's scared to be let down again and I understand that and all I could tell her is "I'm not the man you remember and I realize history says otherwise so all I have to offer is my word and my actions"During this personal conversation my 27 year old step daughter yelled at me "You're trying to hard".....I don't know why she said that but for the love of my life I couldn't possibly try to hard and even if I could I would still try
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  5. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @True concern

    That's great that you were able to have a conversation with your wife. I can understand your desire to get back with her as a new man. I can also understand her concerns and hesitation. Getting back together might or might not happen, and you might want to be prepared for both. What if she says no -that she never wants to get back together? Do you think you can be okay with that? That you can trust that God still has a plan for you outside of that marriage? That is not what I'm hoping of course, but rather I'm hoping that y'all can have another chance. That's what I'm believing for!

    Maybe your stepdaughter had a point. I know if it were me, like if I were your wife, I might want to only hear how much you've changed and how great your life is now in smaller doses....And I might feel pressured if it went on and on. Now that's just me and I could be totally off on that. But earning Trust usually occurs in doses or progressively.

    I'm so proud of you for the man that you have become and are becoming. Thank you for sharing that beautiful update with us.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Am I prepared for if it doesn't work out?I wish I had the answer to that question but I simply do not.Will I be O.K. if we don't get back together?I have to be,regardless of what may or may not happen between us I will push forward, I changed my life for me,no one else so either way I will continue my life the way it is now
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    None of that sounded cheesy, @True concern. In fact, I thought it was absolutely beautiful. I'm proud of you for being so honest with your wife. For baring your soul and letting your feelings be known. That's so wonderful. Obviously, your wife is uncertain, and probably scared. But give things time and see how it goes. You can't make someone do what you want them to do, but maybe things will work out if you're honest and true and patient. I wish I could tell your wife how impressed I am with you. I have certainly seen you grow and change during your time in this community. And you have helped soooo many other people, too.

    I'm praying for things to work out how you want them to. Keep doing what you're doing and working on bettering yourself. Good things will happen as a result of your hard work. I know it.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  8. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @True concern yes, you will be fine no matter what.... and of course, we are praying for YOUR best on all levels.... God's will.... not necessarily ours... ;)

    Happy Thursday!
    True concern and deanokat like this.