i'm close to someone who's been in & out of rehab for the past 16 years. clean for 8 after the 1st time, then used heroin. since then he's had 6 months or so clean at a time & then relapses. 6 months ago he went into a long term treatment program & was released after 4. but he's still lying & hiding. he cheated on the girl who stood by him almost right after he left the treatment center & she's devastated. moved out of the original sober house he went to & into another one but hasn't been back there since he moved in. the girl he cheated with didn't know he was in a relationship. he's not living with her so not sure where he stays. he's already creating another web of lies. however, he goes to meetings every day & speaks at them frequently. works all the time. sounds like he's doing okay, but is it just a cover up? lies cause guilt, shame which is what he needs to avoid. are these signs he may relapse soon? is this typical (lying, infidelity, etc ..) in early recovery?
yes; denial and deceit, craving, are all signs. Understand, the true addict has what is known as an "addictive personality disorder". That clinical condition does not go away, and cannot be cured. It can be ameliorated, though. But regardless what he does, he is still and addict. Some drug addicts switch to gambling, because it does not effect the body like drugs. The addict learns, at an early age, how to lie with a straight face, how to deceive, and be believed ( at least by themselves), how to steal, and how to SOUND like they have been cured. My advice is to lose this closeness!
well i was on heroin for years , methadone as well. at first after the sickness (physical) i felt alot of agitation, fidgety, um very anxious all the time. i fooled everybody the first time i was clean, i was using but no one knew it. the lying, conniving that's all acts of a using addict not one working his recovery. you can talk the talk and be loaded at the same time. i put on a good show for every one even in the program but i knew what i was doing, i think it is a cover up. now Ive been clean for 24 months and working on a degree as well as helping others with addiction
My husband had to go to a methadone clinic to finally get clean. That is a horrible drug and the rehabs did not work for him. Infidelity and lying are not normal in early recovery. Your friend needs help.
Your friend may just flat out need more help than you alone can provide. Infidelity isn't actually a part of heroin relapse. Your pal has problems, and it only includes heroin. Clearly there are others at work
you may be right. Some personalities always return to the habit, some dont. let him know your concerned. Beyond that, you have to decide if you want to go along for that persons ride or walk away. Hopefully this persons weaknesses will not drag the people around him around in a bunch of drama. Dont feed that drama.
Smаll irritаtiоns саn triggеr intеnsе fееlings оf аngеr аnd sаdnеss in еаrly rесоvеry, whiсh mаy triggеr rеlаpsе. Dеprеssiоn, аnxiеty аnd оthеr diffiсult еmоtiоns mаy hаvе аlwаys bееn thеrе, but mаy hаvе gоnе unnоtiсеd bесаusе yоu usеd drugs аnd аlсоhоl tо sеlf-mеdiсаtе. In mаny саsеs, fееlings оf sаdnеss оr аngеr аrе а nоrmаl pаrt оf lifе thаt yоu must lеаrn tо ассеpt аnd mаnаgе rаthеr thаn try tо еsсаpе.
Drug addiction lowers ones' thresh hold of morality. When I used to patronise drinking joints, I observed all sorts of misfits and delinquents as well as prostitution take place in these zones. A person coming from the drug scene will have this carryover on their shoulders. Some have double personalities like the fellow you have just described and appear to be responsible and upright personalities in public. Your friend needs to be helped to view himself in this light in order to have genuine recovery.