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What can we do?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by MrsJones, Nov 28, 2014.

  1. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    We are always looking for ways to 'get through' to our friends and loved ones and using force is not a good method of doing it. Persuasion is.

    I say 'Go for the weak spot." (Vin Diesel - Riddick). Everyone has a weak spot. If you can find their weak spot then you've got ammunition to work with. If you think you've found the 'weak spot' introduce it ever so gently and see where it goes.

    When I say 'weak spot' it could be interpreted as guilt and that's not what I'm meaning. It's a dream that they may have shared with you - one that is still reachable, if they stop the nonsense. Example, if someone likes to draw and have a real talent for it, buy them a small gift like brushes and paint or even ask them to make a sketch of you.

    These are my thoughts/advise. What's worked for you?
  2. LostmySis

    LostmySis Senior Contributor

    I can see how that can help in a way. Most addicts have a very low self esteem (or are complete narcissists-- but their lack of self control could possibly affect their esteem as well). Perhaps by honing in on their skills and making them realize their potential will instill some self worth.

    Also, something like this can be seen as an accomplishment.. so if they see they can accomplish this.. they can try to accomplish others tasks involving the addiction. In my opinion, anything that helps the addict is good. But if helping the addict endangers those around them mentally/physically, then it is not worth it.
  3. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    I get what you're saying, although it's not worded as well as it could be. When you say go for their weak spot, then it sounds like you're taking advantage of their weakness, which just seems like a negative thing to do. If people think that you're trying to exploit a weakness, then they could just as easily revolt and distance themselves from you to avoid facing their issues or simply to get away from you for bringing such things up.

    This approach could absolutely work with certain individuals, though.
  4. hollysheats

    hollysheats Member

    I have a friend that is addicted to narcotics and I have told her husband. He seems not to care about it. The thing is, she has a disabled son that she needs to care for. Her husband isn't working right now and he ends up doing all the work. I am not sure how to help her or get her to see this is not a way to live.
  5. YellowTrain

    YellowTrain Member

    The thing is, they can't let you help them unless they're ready to help themselves. I do like the idea of going for their weak spot. I think being hard on them to show them what's actually going on is important. I don't like to sugarcoat things, and sometimes it comes off as rash and blunt, but friends have thanked me for it later on. Be a voice of reason. The voice of reason that they ignored for too long would be my advice.
  6. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree and I think this method is creative and probably will prove to be effective to some extent. I wouldn't necessarily call it a weak spot though, and instead call it for what it is which is strength. I think most people who turn to abuse have forgotten their strengths and this is a great way of reminding them without coming off too preachy. I also think this is probably much better than getting them to admit to themselves that they are weak and need to give up themselves to a higher power, and at the same time it might also be more effective since someone is taking an interest in them as an individual.