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What does not matter anymore?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Rosyrain, Jul 23, 2015.

  1. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    As we get older and perhaps sober, if we had a problem with drugs and alcohol, we eventually come to the point in which somethings no longer matter to us like they used to. For me, it is popularity. As long as I have a couple of close friends and my family I do not care how many people I have in my life.
  2. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I'm older now and that kind of stuff just doesn't affect me anymore. All I need is the people I want in my life and I'm content. That's all that really matters. That wasn't the case when I was younger. It was totally different back then.
  3. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    I spent a lifetime trying to fit in, desperate to have tons of friends, go to parties and do everything else people around me used to do, then I wanted to have someone by my side, someone to love. I didn't see these wishes fulfilled but while being kind of vital to me, today none of them matter anymore.

    In fact, at this stage of my life is when I begin to fit everywhere and have many people wanting to befriend me, but I was so lonely for so many years, that I ended up loving my solitude and now try to refrain from having what I used to want vehemently and today makes no longer sense.

    Of course, my doors are open to welcome all people, but my approach to relationships have changed.
    Jasmine2015 and Rosyrain like this.
  4. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    It's the quality of your relationships - not quantity - that matters the most. I mean, there's no point in having a lot of people in your life if they don't even stand by you until old age. The reason why some people stay grounded and don't lose sight of their way is because they have the right kind of people (not necessarily a horde of people) behind them.
  5. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I, as most of the other people, also don't crave a lot of attention anymore. I really like to just be able and relax with a couple of my good old friends instead of putting on a mask and making other people like me and have a lot of relationships.
    I've also grown out of the bad habit of being messy. I now clean everything after me and my house doesn't look like a mess anymore.
  6. CallipygianGamine

    CallipygianGamine Community Champion

    Living a life that seems glamorous. Everything looked great on the surface when I lived that way, but I was constantly falling apart inside, trying to keep it all together. So now I care most about taking care of myself, maintaining my self-esteem, and keeping good company, no matter what that looks like. Quality over quantity, as others have said.
    Rosyrain likes this.
  7. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    It is interesting how our perceptions of things change as we get older. I want to have a fulfilled life and that does not mean having the best of everything or a ton of people around me all of the time. As a matter of fact I really get confused when I am in large crowds because I am not sure what to do. I really just like to have a small handful of close friends and family around me and I am completely satisfied. Back when I used to do drugs and drink a lot, I loved big crowds and being the center of attention.
  8. CallipygianGamine

    CallipygianGamine Community Champion

    Same here, crowds make me nervous! Which was a big reason I binge-drank, funny that. It would make me so much less nervous and more prone to make a fool of myself, hahaha. But I was (and am) always happiest with just a few other people, kicking back and enjoying low-key activities.
  9. harold

    harold Community Champion

    Popularity and fitting in is nothing but a virus. It is very difficult to find someone who grows up without suffering from this problem. It is very difficult to find someone who messed up his or her life, out of the influence of bad friends. Fitting in and becoming popular has led many people into pits of destruction. I strongly believe that the best way to live a fulfilled life will be to follow your heart, listen to wise advice and remain yourself. Many young people will never understand this, until they find themselves into some mess. I am glad that we have such experienced and intelligent people here, who can always shine the light on these things. Thanks for sharing the point.
  10. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I hear you about not worrying about popularity anymore. If people don't like me for me, then I don't have the time of day for them myself.

    I'm content with who I am as a person - I think that did take time though to feel that way. I used to be so worried about fitting in and having friends that it was almost debilitating!
  11. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I agree, as we grow older, we realize that we don't need unnecessary people in our lives. We just need those people who would always stay true to us. I don't need a lot of friends; I just need a couple of people who would love me at my best and who would still accept me at my worst.
    Rosyrain likes this.
  12. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    I have valued this even when I was a kid that it's not necessary to surround yourself with a bunch of people who could care less about you. To me it makes sense and is easier to give my love and attention to a few good friends over a bunch of so-so people. And the best part? The same kids who liked to tease me are now adults with so many issues. Many having babies too early, many in jail it's sad to watch but thank Goodness I let those people go, I didn't miss anything by having them around.
  13. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Yes this is true. Certain really good people in your life is all you need. It is funny how some people are so into how many FB friends they have. This guy was talking about this woman rambling on about having 200 friends. It's like as if she knows all those people. You can't really. I guess some people get a thrill out of the number as if it is an amount of money or something with value.
    Being real and true is the only the is important. The amount is irrelevant really.
  14. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I have known people with like 500 Facebook friends and the funny part is that they really do not talk to any of those people. The only thing I really care about in life now is that my family is healthy and taken care of.
  15. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    500 friends? Even if I knew 500 people in real life face to face I would feel like I was stretching myself thin. How could I possibly make time with 500 people individually?
  16. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    You'd be surprised how many people can end up in your Facebook's friends list without you even knowing. It's kind of weird in a way that you'll accept so many people online, but imagine how hard it would be have 500 friends in real life and be in touch with all of them. I think my anxiety issues would implode.
  17. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    I think my phone bill would explode. Or my email inbox, which ever comes first.
  18. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Yeah, popularity and peer pressure really loses it's value as you get older. You just seem to not care about how people think about you anymore. You get to be more secure with yourself and it's easier to say "no" to temptation and bad influences.
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2015
  19. oldwriter

    oldwriter Member

    Strongly agree in terms of popularity. I remember my high school and college days; being popular was something I cared about. A lot. Yet over time (and having a share of life's experiences), one realizes it really wasn't that important to be the most popular and sociable guy.

    I'm not saying people should become antisocial, but merely coming to realizing how many college friends remain in your personal circle as time goes by gives your perspective. Same goes for high school friends. It is diminishing steadily over time. So, -in the end- it turned out it wasn't really important to please this or that person at the time in order to fit into a certain group, but to form true friendships and strong, lasting bonds.

    Life takes people through different paths. This is inevitable. As you grow older, you understand there is no need for excessive attachments, especially (ephemeral) social ones. Superfluous attachments do become less attractive over time. I totally wish I had realized this earlier in life.
  20. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I could say that I am someone who always been not into those popularity things and could go on with a friend or two. Those who does not like me do not matter and should not be bothered about. I just enjoy doing my things with those who truly cares. :)