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What is the best way for me to get a relative to go get treatment?

Discussion in 'Questions About Treatment' started by Adrianna, Jul 5, 2015.

  1. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    She is in denial. Says that there is no problem. She's functional. Which is true accept when she drinks on top of the prescriptions and causes problems. I honestly could of cared less about this but the problem just seems like it is getting worse.
    The bigger problem is that I think that none of these prescription drugs are good for her. I think they have totally distorted her personality for years.
  2. Thejamal

    Thejamal Active Contributor

    All you can do is keep being that pest and keep telling her that she needs help. Ultimately, she has to be the one to come to the conclusion that she is indeed sick and needs treatment. Forcing someone to go to rehab doesn't work because they don't really want to be there, nor do they really want to get clean.

    It stinks that we can't help our loved ones more, except to keep pressuring and reminding them that their behavior is destructive to themselves and people around them.
  3. Auril

    Auril Active Contributor

    Yep, all you can do is keep telling her you think she needs help. From time to time maybe give her a brochure on getting treatment or on AA meetings in the area. If she asked you for any kind of help, especially financial, tell her you will not help her due to her addiction problem. As Thejamal said - you can't force someone to go to treatment if they don't want to. You can only remain that little voice in her ear and hope she decides to listen on day.
  4. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    She doesn't ask for financial help. This part is ok with her. It is her actions and things she says. It's just brutal outbursts that are so mean.
    The prescriptions are being given to her by doctors. I don't think they really know about the alcohol. An AA brochure, that is a good idea. She'll probably get really mad. I will try all of this. I am one of these that says something once and that's it. Complete opposite of her, a nag. Lol.
    You know the thing is she goes to a shrink. I just imagine how most people portrait themselves as this or that. When they are completely messed up and ashamed of how they are.
    My problem is I point out the worst behaviors and use the medical labels. I'm not even in agreement with all of that. I just use it because she Loves doctors and hospitals.
    The worst part is she is so full of hate. It has been directed to me so many times that it's hard for me to even like her, let alone love her.
    Thanks, you're right. I'll keep trying. A different approach this time.
  5. harold

    harold Community Champion

    Loved ones are always like that. They never want to recognize their mistakes in front of close relatives. The best solution is to be patient, show her love and then once in a while, point out her mistake to her, stressing the need for her to get help. At the same time, you do not have to over do it. You do not have to make it sound as if you are nagging. It only renders the situation worst. She is human and rational, the few times you mention it will always return to her when she is alone. If she can come to a point where she can clearly see your good intentions for her, she will change and seek help, not because she really wants to, but because she knows someone cares and does not judge her.
  6. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Well you can't say she is rational without know her. Lol A nag can't stand nagging. Nobody like this and it's not necessary.
    I think it's hard to have good intentions for a long duration when you see the person you are dealing with doesn't have good intentions themselves. I think this situation is not just about being human and rational. Human beings are not always rational. In fact they can be anything but and cause other people a great deal of heart ache.
    Sometimes people need to know or see the truth. I know how it is received has to do with the execution of it or how things are said. What is the saying? Those who judge will be judged. Some just don't want to face their ugly behavior much less admit to you, you are right.
    There is something to be said for being kind. However, some people don't respond to that well. Especially when they have been abused. Love is not love to them. It's always interesting to me how you can be incredibly kind to some people and how they seem to dislike it. They almost seek for you to abuse them because that is all they know.