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What to do when somebody refuses treatment?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Waterel, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Waterel

    Waterel Active Contributor

    A certain relative of mine has been in the hospital because of alcohol. He has been to rehab, his liver and stomach are damaged, but as soon as he got out, he started drinking again.

    What is left to do in such a situation?
  2. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    This is a very sad situation. It is hard to watch somebody destroying their life and health and they just refuse to see it. From my experience there is not a whole lot you can do until they admit that they need help. If they don't want to seek help then they won't. You can talk to them and tell him how you feel and what it is doing to the people who care about him but it may just fall on deaf ears. If his health is failing and he still refuses to stop drinking then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe somebody will have some better advice. I hope he does get clean soon before it is too late.
  3. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I had a neighbor who also wouldn't stop drinking. His [adult] children tried all they could to get him to stop drinking but he told them it was his life and would do whatever he pleased and eventually alcohol killed him. My uncle was also like this. He never could stop drinking until it was too late. He died in 2004. What I learned from all this is that the best you can do is try to help. Warn the addict about the bad things that will happen. Everything else is up to the alcoholic. If they don't want to change you can't force them.
  4. All you can do is keep trying until you are successful. You might have to use brute force but it would be for their own well being. The more they refuse the more is their addiction. It is like teaching kids what is right for them and what is not. It is always difficult in the beginning, but the outcome would always be worth the struggle. So I recommend using any means to bring them out of the addiction. Good Luck.
  5. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    All you can do is remind him that if he doesn't stop he'll be dead soon. People have a tendency to do what they want. If he's already been to rehab and is still a alcoholic this is a choice he made. Pray for your friend, the best thing that could happen as that he'll come around and realize how important it is to make a change.
  6. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    It seems like your relative obviously doesn't care enough about his health to still continue drinking eventhough he has already damaged his liver and stomach. Well if he is unwilling to change at all then there's not much you can do.
  7. Waterel

    Waterel Active Contributor

    He doesn't really care about his health. He's the type of person to drink throughout the entire day, and when he wakes up at night he goes to the kitchen and he drinks some more.

    @Rainman, I think most alcoholics are well aware of the fact that they're damaging themselves. They just don't care for some reason.
  8. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Pride? Or maybe an unwillingness to change because all they've done most of their lives is drink and they don't know or aren't willing to find out how they'd live without their senses numbed.

    Some alcoholics I know simply won't stop drinking because all their friends are alcoholics.
  9. Waterel

    Waterel Active Contributor

    The relative I'm talking about doesn't even have any friends. His kid has grown up and left home, and he's only living with his wife who's doing her best to support him.
  10. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    That's even more sad. Is it perhaps the underlying reason why he keeps drinking? I can only speculate because I don't know him personally. Some people drink to drown their sorrows. Perhaps he feels alone and desolate. Have you tried reaching out to his kid? Perhaps he can help too. It's a good thing that you're there for your relative and his wife. They both need your support.
  11. misskrystal1982

    misskrystal1982 Active Contributor

    He must have some sort of self destructive reason. Maybe he is depressed or something is going on inside that he feels he needs to do this. I really feel for people like this, because there must be some serious inner turmoil going on. I would say he needs to find someone he can talk to. Most likely he won't talk to family about what the problem is. I am no fan of counseling but maybe it would work? Sometimes people are determined to stay on their self destructive course.
  12. Joethefirst

    Joethefirst Community Champion

    The only thing you can do is not to give up. He has to do the decision to stop drinking, no one else can do it for him.
  13. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Doing some research I learned that some people won't stop using drugs because they are terrified of dealing with discomfort that comes with quitting/withdrawal. Could be that in addition to the feelings of loneliness this is why he won't even make an attempt to fight the addiction.
  14. DN02

    DN02 Member

    That’s tough – and I do know how tough it is because our family went through the same thing with a loved one. There are few things that are more gut-wrenching than watching someone close become consumed with alcohol abuse or any other addiction…..but when nothing works whatever you try, there’s only so much you can do. Only the person with the addiction can commit to recovery.

    But don’t give up hope - even though he or she refuses treatment now, it doesn’t mean they will continue to do so in the future. In the meantime, don’t forget to take care of your own physical and emotional health. Don’t let the addiction take over your life too; you are not responsible for their drinking. Practice tough love and love yourself.

    You might also consider getting in touch some support groups who provide support, empowerment, and resources.