For the.last year and a half my children's father has been struggling with meth addiction. I am an alcoholic who has struggled with my own recovery and relapses. It was a hardcore habit for him for almost a year, he was fired from his job and was clean for a few months, that I know of, he started a job in a terrible part of town and I have repeatedly found info and pipes and works of some sort on him almost every week or other week these last 6 or 7 months. I don't know how he gets the dope, I usually maintain the finances debit cards etc. It bothers me so much because I have heard such horror stories from other addicts. I guess I don't know what to do. We have 3 small children and one possibly on the way, I'm very newly pregnant and although I'd like to have faith and give another addict a chance, I'm exhausted. My home feels unsafe, unclean, and I am constantly stressed about going to work and leaving the children with him. He hasn't harmed them, but with continued meth use can I ever be sure they're safe? Or what if he brings one of these drug addicts around, such terrible things happen. I guess I'm just conflicted, do I uproot my children and run away or do I keep trying to work with him. He wasn't always like this, but now I don't even know if that's true.
@AjOp... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you've been going through with your children's father. Loving someone who struggles with addiction is an incredible challenge, especially when there are kids involved. You have to remember that your life and the lives of your children--both living and not yet born--should be your number one priority. You have to do what's best for you. You all deserve to live a happy, healthy, safe life. If you haven't already, you should sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your man. Tell him exactly what you're concerns and fears are. Tell him you will support him if he chooses to get help. But let him know that his drug use is unacceptable. When it comes down to it, he is the only one who can make the decision to change. Like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon teach: You didn't cause his addiction, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. You may have to make some tough decisions going forward. I know you love this man, but you have to put you and your kids first. Growing up around an addict isn't an ideal situation for children. I think you're very well aware of that. We're here to help and support you however we can, so reach out anytime. In the meantime, I'm sending you lots of positive energy, love, and hope. And I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.