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What transforms a person?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by djdrug, Mar 14, 2016.

  1. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    I have had this experience of seeing people come out of their misery all by themselves. I feel like its usually there own inner strength that helps them overcome their addiction. But, I have never been able to come up with the exact kinds of motivations that differentiate those who are able to let go and those who relapse. What according to you helps transform a person? And is there some study already done regarding this?
  2. philthegoat

    philthegoat Active Contributor

    For me, my close family - which isn't my family at all, they're just people very close to me - has helped me to recover, but it was a man named Thebe Kgositsile. He is a great man that makes music. I started listening to him back in 2010 when his first album came out. Since then, I've been following his music and been growing just as he did. I would recommend him to everyone.
    djdrug likes this.
  3. SashaS

    SashaS Community Champion

    I'm not sure about studies, but I do know of cases where people have overcome addictions on their own. I had a friend in high school named Blaine, he would constantly smoke his vaporizer and it had serious effects on him. He could not keep up with school work and he would always smell like the flavors he put in the e-cigarette.

    Then, in the last quarter of the year, he suddenly didn't smell again, his grades were up to standard again and he was the happy, outgoing kid he once was. When I asked him what caused him to stop, he said that he sat down and contemplated life, realizing that he cannot get anywhere unless he stepped onto the right path. Today he is a successful business man and I always see him with a smile on his face. I know that without his willpower to quit, he would have taken a very different path in life.

    Some people can do this on their own, mostly with some sort of inspiration like a hobby/passion or a realization of reality. But on the other hand, most addicts do not possess this willpower and drive, they focus more on fueling the fire that is their addiction as opposed to finding water to put it out.
    djdrug likes this.
  4. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    For me I guess it was a couple of things. Having a support network, and also just realizing that I didn't want to be living the way I was. I don't know exactly what made me come to that realization, and what gave me the desire to change - but I just knew the path I was on was destructive after time.
    djdrug likes this.
  5. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    Ah! Music is certainly one of the great healers of our times. And close family certainly helps too.
  6. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    Yeah, I hear ya! A lot of people can't do it on their own and need outside help. But, that's certainly a motivating story. Thank you for that :)
    SashaS likes this.
  7. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    I think that is the key - you realized you were on a path of destruction. A lot of people, including me, stay in denial for a long long time. And that is something that really impacts the ability of a person to let go. If you don't think or admit you're addicted, you can't really make an honest effort to come out of it.
    kassie1234 likes this.
  8. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    Typically God has a hand in it as well.
    I know when I first came to accept Him I really started to change.
  9. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Very true. I still had a few years of denying it - I tried to justify it by saying that I could stop at any time and that I wasn't really addicted (I think a lot of us have probably gone through that!) but once you realize just how bad things have gotten it's like life almost starts again when you commit to sobriety :)
  10. Geeka

    Geeka Member

    I think that would be from the kind and gentle support from friends and families above all. They can be quite a pillar in terms of reminding yourself who you truly are, what you can be, what you're capable of, and what you're most happy doing. These little reminders help greatly because the feeling of others knowing what you were prior to the issue gives off such a confident feeling to yourself. There's this cosiness to it and I think this helps the most.
  11. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    I just didn't want my life to be a mirror of my dad's. That was my primary motivation. At first I did not realize that I was becoming like my dad. But some friends of mine used to joke that I'm an alcoholic like him. That all of us, his children, are following in his footsteps. For them, it was a joke. But alcoholism is a serious problem. And my life, without me noticing it, is slowly being destroyed because of it. I didn't want what happened to my dad happen to me as well, so I decided to turn my life around. And I did. :)
  12. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Why people all of a sudden turn their lives around is often a mystery and even the people that you think are a lost cause can often surprise you.

    For me I just woke one day with an hangover as usual and thought this needs to stop. I relapsed a few times, but I did manage to stop and even I don't know why I had that chance of heart.
    Mara likes this.
  13. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I think it's all about a person's mindset more than anything else. I think once they have adopted a certain attitude then I think transformation of any kind is possible. Once they have gotten rid of their past hurts, resentments, regrets, etc. then I think they will be ready to be transformed.
  14. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    People have different ways they get motivated; I think @djdrug should let your inner self find that thing that moves you to be strong, to stay clean and be disciplined. Some find strength in God, others family and others in self-will and shame. What's yours?
  15. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    @darkrebelchild For me it has always been God, family and Money. I know, that seems contradictory, but that is the truth. You see, the moment you think about it, God did not put us here to fail, he did not put us here to rot, he did not put us here to waste away on substance. He put us here to become our best healthy and happy selves. And the moment you calculate things like how much money gets burned on addictions, you sort of already gain the motivation, especially if you calculate your lifetime spending on your addiction. And finally, family is the support system that keeps everything in check.
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2016
  16. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I think the desire the change your life more than anything else. The desire to want something better for yourself, and your life. Maybe yo also want better for your friends and family, and you know by changing your life for the better you will be providing a positive example. You have to learn to be selfish for yourself, and not selfish for a slave to a substance.
    djdrug likes this.
  17. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    It's never about willpower I believe. Unless you have a really good reason to beat an addiction you won't. This is why when someone is thinking of battling their addiction they should make a list of reasons why they want to quit. This list will be the visual reminder they need to get them to keep fighting. For most people I know the reason they were able to successfully overcome their addictions is their children/love.
    djdrug and MrsJones like this.
  18. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    I have to say that my husband only changed because of his life was threatened by his substance abuse.
    djdrug likes this.
  19. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    Thought is everything. Being able to change the way you think is the key. Sure, it's tough and it takes time but you need persistence and determination. It's a gradual process but changing the way you think enables you to turn your life around. For me, I'd had many warnings that things needed to stop. I had no support network, no friends, no family (at the time), no money, no job, no home, nothing - again! There came a point after many years of agonizing suffering that I suddenly realized the only person who could really change things and the only person I could ever truly rely on was myself and I looked to my inner self for change.
    djdrug likes this.
  20. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I'd say it's continuous effort to improve and change your life forever, that gradually transforms you. You start thinking about the person that you want to be, and you become that person. How fast that happens, depends on you. You have to be consistent and do everything possible to strengthen and establish that "new you", which is probably your "original you" anyway, before you were led astray by various substances.
    djdrug likes this.