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What would you do if your kid is addicted?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by FuZyOn, May 23, 2015.

  1. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    How would you approach this situation if you suddenly found out that your kid is addicted to a substance or whatever? I'd really like to hear your input, people! :D
  2. Danyell

    Danyell Community Champion

    I do not have experience from the parents perspective but I do from the child's. I am a heroin addict and have been for years unfortunately. From my personal experience, at first my parents were furious. They did not understand that addiction isn't something that we want to happen. I would suggest Alanon. They are AA meetings for friends and family to help then better understand addiction and how to cope with a loved one who uses. My parents set me up with a therapist and I go see her every week. We sometimes have family sessions which are incredibly helpful. It is very beneficial to have a mediator who can keep the conversation constructive rather than yelling or everyone just getting mad at each other. I would like to stress though, if the child is for sure an addict, rather than a recreational user or binges, then the only way that us addicts can actually change and get clean for good is if we are fully ready and want it bad enough. It says in the Big Book of A.A. that "frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices". Which means that when family and loved ones talk to the addict about how it is bad for them and all of the negative consequences change for good just based on them wanting me to quit doesn't do me any good. I can only change for me and not for anyone else. I would maybe see if they would be okay with yall going to the open AA or NA meetings. Or, if they aren't very interested in the 12 step method then I would highly suggest SMART Recovery. It is amazing. It is a scientific based recovery program and they have a really cool workbook that you can get either online or at the meetings. Inside it teaches the addict how to cope with urges and cravings, build and maintain self-motivation for sobriety, live a balanced sober lifestyle and much more. It really clicks with me. If you have any questions or whatever please feel free to message me!! :)
  3. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    I wouldn't condone it, that's for sure. I would definitely have a talk with him first and try and find out what prompted him to take drugs in the first place. Perhaps he was just trying to fill a hole or something. I'd have to ground him too because he needs to know that what he's doing is wrong, and no bad deed goes unpunished. Only then will I proceed to taking measures about cutting off his addiction. If he isn't co-operative, I'd be forced to get him into some sort of a facility where he would be given the treatment he needs. That's all hypothetical, of course, but quite plausible, nevertheless.
    Danyell likes this.
  4. Stella

    Stella Member

    While most parents would begin yelling at their child and be very angry, I don't think that I would respond to ANY addiction in that manner, including my child. Assuming that I have a good relationship with my child, I would sit them down and talk with them to find out why they are using drugs.
    If its because they're depressed/empty, Id have to find out what it is that is making them depressed and go from there.
    No matter the reason of depression, I would send them to someone that could help them. (Ie. A psychologist, doctor etc.) Then, I'd make sure that from there on out, that I continue talking to them about it so that they can feel more comfortable and less pressured. Hopefully the amount of support they will receive would help the addiction.
    The problem with strict parents with addicted children is that anger to a child will make their addiction worst. The addiction most likely stems from any negative feeling they get. You have to feed them positivity to make the process of their doing drugs faster and better.
  5. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I'd doubt I'd have to "find out" in my son's case. He so open and honest with me I'm sure he'd just come right out and tell me. And what would I do? How would I react? I always think we never really know how we would react, but I am guessing I'd be taken by surprise as he has always told me he has no interest.

    Still based on the relationship we presently have I'd want to have a chat with and see if I could get to the "why" of the matter. My son is in his early twenties so besides chatting I don't know there would be much more that I can do. He already knows I am totally opposed to drugs and excessive use of alcohol, so he knows I'd be very saddened
    to see him jump on board that ship.
  6. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Well even though I have never been in this situation, I think one thing that a parent shouldn't do is get mad about it, that's for sure.

    Flying off the handle and screaming and shouting, even though that might be what they want to do, isn't going to help any situation, especially not involving somebody with an addiction.
  7. Lackluster

    Lackluster Active Contributor

    I don't have kids, but I'm young enough to know how I'd want my folks to react if they found out.

    My parents were reasonable people, and let's be honest - the kid you're raising? The one with a substance problem? He's a younger adult. His feelings and opinions matter to him but don't matter much to anyone else. A parent coming in and throwing down the book of the law is just going to make his frustration worse, make him feel like his frustrations are justified.

    My parents weren't the lawbringer types. My dad would have said something like "Get your crap in order. It's rough on us all, not just you, and you're not doing yourself or us any favors this way." My mother was more vocal about it, but had a similar stance. If your kid is having a substance problem, there is a reason for it, and your kid feels that reason is important even if you disagree. You got to help him out of it, not force it.

    Now, I ended up hooked on things anyways, but it was after the kid period of my life. My parents were, and still are here for me - and they've been consistent all this time.
  8. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    That would be a really horrible situation to be in. Knowing that your child is addicted to drugs/substances is truly painful. And as a parent, I would really try my best to be able to get him/her help. I would never give up and turn my back on my kid no matter what happens.
  9. Danyell

    Danyell Community Champion

    @dyanmarie25 i totally agree. I think I said this above, but I am a heroin addict and what we need the most is someone who will be there for us.
    dyanmarie25 likes this.
  10. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Yes. We would always need someone to motivate us to be a better person. No man is an island.
  11. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I think I'd do what any parent would do. If I found out my kid is an addict then I'll first try to offer advice. Should I find out that the advice isn't working then I'll have no option but to force him or her to get drug treatment. Why? Because as the parent I'd know what's good for the kid. They can thank me later even if they hate me for going to such great lengths to free them from drugs.
  12. Lackluster

    Lackluster Active Contributor

    Forcing people to do anything is a great way to watch it backfire and blow up in your face. It's different if the kid realizes there's a problem and wants help, and just needs a shove to keep them on track, but dragging them kicking and screaming is just going to make an enemy out of you. I can't say you're wrong at all for your stance, though. I'd rather try the Obi-Wan route first, but I suppose I'd rather be hated and vilified if it meant getting them off the crap they're taking.

    I suppose my viewpoint is skewed because I wasn't forced, and that made it easier for me. My decision on my time, but I had the support to get through it.
    Danyell likes this.
  13. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I am old school. So therefore I believe a good smack upside the head is in order. Anyone else has a problem with that then go call the cops. After that I set the ground rules and that's the end of that. Not everyone lives in the west. In other countries they still allow that type of parenting.
    Rainman likes this.
  14. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I do not have any kid yet, but if ever which I really hope will not happen, I will do my best to get him out of addiction. It may be not easy but I will do all possible things to made him clean such as rehab if really necessary.
  15. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Well, that's a different approach from the other posters. Why do you think smacking your kid upside the head would make him understand the consequences better?
    Last edited: May 27, 2015
  16. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I think I would notice that something is going on long before my kid became a fully blown addict. I would approach the topic directly without talking around the bush, and find out what exactly is going on. I can't imagine any child of mine to be so detached from me as to not tell me the truth. I know that I would do absolutely everything that is necessary to get my son or daughter back on track again.
  17. E.Mil

    E.Mil Community Champion

    If I find out that my child was addicted that would really upset me. I would talk to my child about the consequences and give the situation over to God through prayer and keeping my mind and speaking the word of God over my child and the situation. I would definitely fight for my kid and do whatever it takes to get my child the help that they need.
  18. rcdpink

    rcdpink Active Contributor

    My kid? I would whoop his behind so Joking. That would be heart rending for me and am not sure how I would respond exactly. For sure, I would talk to him and be as open and trustworthy as possible. I want to be my child's confidant and for him to tell me all about how it started and who is supplying the drugs if that's the case. I would encourage him to look at the dangers of taking drugs and ask him to separate himself from fellow drug partners. I would get him help from the doctor as well as from church.