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What's one more hit? What's one more day? What's one more week? I'll get sober next week

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by New2u345, May 14, 2018.

  1. New2u345

    New2u345 Member

    I've been struggling with meth use for months. Ive always preferred upppers and knew to stay away from this particular drug. Yet, here I am, due to my impulsivity and yolo mentality. I smoke everyday but have had enough control to only smoke throughout the day and stay on a routine sleep schedule. I know where this leads. Loss of my job, relationships, lust of life, money, teeth. Mood swings, indifference, rage, etc. I tend to go through phases when it comes to drugs. I'll find one I like, obsessively use it until I'm uncomfortably close to a full blown addiction, then give it up easily. This particular drug scares me due to the research I have done on the topic. The relapse rate is insane. I've never let a substance control me and have never been on any hardcore drug for more than a few months, then I'm ready to say goodbye to it. This is my favorite substance thus far. Im playing mind games with myself. "It's just a little boost before work, no big deal." "Housework is much more enjoyable after a few hits." "Sex is awesome!" You catch my drift. I am at the point where I need to give it up like I did the others, with no intention of wanting to stop right now. It won't be long until this could get too out of hand and I jump right to full blown addiction. I'm convincing myself that I can do this drug, function properly, and live a the same life I lead sober. Someone talk some sense into me.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @New2u345 hey there. Sounds like you would benefit greatly from seeing an addiction therapist. You are repeating a cycle that can be overcome but may need some professional help. Usually there are issues underneath an addiction... so maybe begin digging to find the.

    You probably cant be a functioning addict... so yes, stop now and do whatever it takes to stop. Some attend 12step meetings for support too.

    Make a plan.

    We are here to encourage you!
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @New2u345... Thanks for sharing with us. I totally agree with @Dominica: You probably can't be a functioning addict. And you said that you know where this leads, so the best thing for you to do would be to get off this path before it's too late. Seeing an addiction specialist would be a great thing for you. They can assess your situation and recommend the best next steps. If you're in the U.S. you can find an addiction specialist by using the "Find a Doctor" tool at the American Board of Addiction Medicine website: http://www.abam.net/find-a-doctor/

    You can overcome your meth use. And I think your life will be better when you do. You can only go on using mind-altering substances for so long before your life--and health--starts to fall apart. So why not start fixing things now?

    We're here to listen and offer help and support. Please reach out and lean on us anytime you'd like.
  4. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Wow i read this and at the end it says.Someone talk some sense into me...It sounds like your full of sense but i don't know if you truly realize how big that ring of fire is that you have lit.I read about the push for extreme's into each and every substance you touch and suddenly you step away before it get's out of control,i hear a cocky self control story about the ability to turn the page and overcome,and out of no where..there it is.."I need to give it up like the other's with no intention of wanting to stop right now"My heart goes out to you as i know the line you are currently walking and it's a deadly one.So the fact your on the verge of addiction to meth is scary and it should be because once you break that threshold into full blown meth addiction it will convince you to slowly bring back the other's,and it will convince you you are in control but infact you are not.Once you start mixing that deadly cocktail you will be lucky if you survive,i know from experience and it's so hard to come back from that.Talk some sense into you?Let me share my story just so you can read what that ring of fire will do to you once it has you.I don't know that i can talk sense into you but maybe i can make you aware of what's next in your path of self control.I mean no offense in any way by any of this and i hope after you read this you will put the meth down as the other's will be waiting with open arm's once you hit full blown meth addiction.Reach out anytime we are all hear for you to help as best we can and i hope the Pure Nightmare i lived never locks it grasps on you as i struggle everyday to not get high,but by the grace of God im able to try and help other's with my misery.Let me know if this talked any sense into you or if atleast it opened your eye's to what waits for you.This is my story of addiction.I was born in the early 80's at the age of six year's old i was diagnosed with A.D.H.D.at that time there was a new F.D.A.approved drug by the name of Ritalin.At first it seemed to be a miracle pill,I was on this pill until the age of 18 at that time i decided i was no longer going to take this pill and it began just under a year passed and someone said "Have you ever tried crystal"which i had not at that time but i tried it and instantly noticed that it was 100% the same effect i got from Ritalin only difference was it lasted longer,or seemed to but honestly it was probably the quantity i was doing was greater than that of Ritalin i struggled with meth on and off for roughly 20 year's,not only meth but i was as well consuming 750ml of Jack Daniel's a day plus a 12 pack of beer.For those who don't know when you mix the two you don't appear to get drunk which is very deadly because infact you do get drunk however you don't realise it until it's too late meaning alcohol poisoning.I experienced this a few times and actually died on a hospital bed due to this fact,it took 3 hits with a defibrillator to restart my heart and i was told the only reason I was hit 3 times was because i was only 19 year's old,but usually after the second time if your heart doesn't restart you are then pronounced dead,but a nurse pleaded with the Dr.to try one more time and he did and my heart started back up.I didn't know at the time but that nurse was actually the mother of the lead singer of Sublime who just lost her son to a heroin overdose.I am forever grateful for that nurse without her plea i would be another statistic.Unfortunately I didn't quite using drug's at that time i just traded substances.I started abusing pain pills heavily and increased that addiction to catastrophic proportions,it got so bad i started injecting heroin which i quickly traded for oxycontin because it was much stronger than heroin.I abused fentanyl as well but nothing compared to the oxycontin.At my worst i was injecting 240-320mg's of oxycontin a day,feeling i wouldn't survive another month i decided to seek help.I'm poor and i come from poor parent's so my options were limited,i ended up at a methadone clinic for help slowly decreasing my extremely high tolerance.At the clinic i had an interview with a drug addiction counselor and an addiction physician,i was hoping for good news but what i heard shock me to my core.I was told by both the same thing,"Sir we are sorry to tell you but your addiction and tolerance is beyond the point of return,whether you quit or continue either way you cannot survive you have if your lucky a month to live"My heart sank and i decided at that moment if i was going to die i would die trying.I went home and prayed and then i called my wife into the room to tell her the news.At that moment i apologized to her told her how much she meant to me and made her promise if i didn't make it she would move on re marry and live a happy life and she noded yes.After that i quite cold turkey and suffered pain and sickness i cannot describe,for 27 straight day's i did not leave the bedroom,i did not eat,i did not sleep,i hallucinated,i screamed in intense unimaginable pain,i lost over 50 pound's in that time frame and had to be rushed to the hospital 3 time's where they would rehydrate me and try to give me pain shots to stall the detox which i refused.On day 28 I took my first steps after i quite and by the grace of God i survived and this May im married 18 year's to my beautiful wife and guardian angel.This is the first time I've shared my story of addiction and i did it for one reason alone,i want everyone to know i understand what you are going through and no matter how bad it gets there is hope.I'm here for each and everyone of you,if you ever need someone to talk to,if you ever feel no one understands im all ears and i do understand.Stay Strong We're rooting for you
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  5. The only cure is replacement with constant fulfilling and physical activities, until you're so tired that sleep is the best feeling in the world, then get up and do it again, **** those nasty drugs!<
    deanokat, Dominica and True concern like this.