I realised that I had a problem with alcohol when I was making excuses not to drive to places so that I could start drinking as soon as I got there. I knew that I had to stop it, but I didn't feel as though I had the strength at the time. Now, looking back, it is so clear that I had a problem for a long time before that, but I couldn't see it at the time.
When I got to the Beer Store too late and got angry once I saw it was closed. It was only a five minute walk and wasn't far out of my way at all; there was no reason for me to be angry. Waking up with the shakes the next day only confirmed it.
When I wasn't in control anymore. I was drinking before realizing and I was craving alcohol a lot throughout the day. Those were the moments when I realized I had a problem but sadly it took me a long while to be able to start my recovery process.
I started realizing I got a problem when alcohol started interfering with other aspects of my life, such as family, friends, and even work sometimes. I decided I needed to take attitude and cease to take alcohol. It worked, but with a lot of effort and commitment.
Mine was easier to see. I was drunk every night and vomiting all over myself in bed. This one time I came home and I slept in the shower in the fetal position. The water was already ice cold and I had used all of the hot water. That was the worst one to date. I had a problem obviously, and it had a lot to do with my broken marriage at the time.
For me, it was mostly realizing I barely recognized myself anymore amongst the trappings of a drunken party lifestyle. I was completely lost. It took me a while to come to terms with that fact, though. I don’t know how many times I told myself I’d never drink or party again, only to turn around and go at it again a week later (or less!). Making a fool of myself one too many times, that was when I finally decided enough was enough.
I never had a problem because I've never drank alcohol (okay, maybe some sips). But here are some symptoms that I've concluded from previous posts and websites: When you get angry if you can't access alcohol When hangovers become a habit When you don't enjoy things you did anymore (also a sign of depression, by the way) When you find yourself visiting the beer store more than two times a week When your friends don't act the same towards you anymore Shaky hands (also a sign of Parkinson's) Here's a website that might help you: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcoholism/basics/symptoms/con-20020866 You could, alternatively, email your friends with these symptoms and ask them to tell you if you have any of them: http://www.timberlineknolls.com/alcohol-addiction/signs-effects
I think I first realised I'd become dependant on alcohol was when I started to struggle to get to sleep unless I'd had a few beers. People will have their own limits and for me that was when I realised that I might have a problem, I was never drunk to the point of falling over, I was a functional alcoholic and went through day to day life as anybody else, but without a drink at the end of the day, I couldn't sleep at all.
I knew I had a problem when I was skipping workouts to go to the bar, then skipping the next morning's run because I was too hungover to stand the exercise. I wanted to get healthy, and drinking was standing in the way of doing that. I also realized I was drinking for the wrong reasons -- I was sad, angry, lonely, frustrated. Alcohol is a depressant, so it was magnifying all these feelings and creating a vicious circle.
I realized there was a problem when a combination of two things happened. First, I realized I was only seeing my friends when there was alchohol involved. Every Friday we'd meet up after work and all get super drunk for four or five hours. Except for that, no one ever wanted to get together and do anything. The second thing was, during one of those nights, I drove while drunk. It was something I had sworn I'd never do after having been a passenger too many times in my dad's car as a kid while he was drunk. I swore I would never get on the road while drunk and put other drivers at risk. The night I did...I realized I had a big problem.
For me, it was waking up inside some car alone inside a gated subdivision. Luckily, I was in a friend's car and apparently, I was wandering around the concert grounds I attended making "friends" with people. They then saw me passed out after the concert and I was covered in my own vomit. It was the first time I woke up not knowing where I was. Luckily I had my boys.
When I start drinking, I binge, most times. I can't control it. I once binged in my cousin's house when his wife was present. She felt uncomfortable and started to look at me rather dazedly. I knew all along that I would be embarrassing myself, but I couldn't stop binging. This is such a cursed drink that spoils relations. I quit it long back, but the incident still sends waves of embarrassment down my spine.
Interesting what a good question. This would be a great book to put together. This way people would maybe be able to relate and pay attention to when the problem arises. The timeframe that I did have a problem I think I was escaping from reality. Escaping a person and the situation with that person. I wanted to not think or feel anything for as long as I could so I would drink quite often. I fell asleep one afternoon after drinking entirely too much. Woke up before 5pm and realized I passed out. This probably was when I realized that the guy had to go or I probably would just get worse. I tried everything with him to get some kind of normalcy out of the relationship but this never occurred. Some kind of psychological issues and behavior problems, problem child. I think I had a better relationship with the alcoholic that I dated years before. They did have something in common though, passing out during sex. I don't know maybe he had a drug addiction and I was not paying attention. Now I think about it and just realize that unfortunately he was psychopathic. He didn't sleep enough so this makes someone psychotic. He even said his mother was psychotic. Lol, sounds funny but not when you are dealing with them. Especially when you break it off and they keep saying that you are making a mistake. Days later they begin to talk about kidnapping you. You begin to put it all together in your head at this point. No conscious, that blank stare when they lie. The endless paranoia. Lights are on but nobody is home. It just reminds me of that Robert Palmer song Addicted to Love. your mind is not your own. No soul, no control of their mind, and absolutely no control of what they do. I guess that's why they call them a psychopath. What they do makes no sense, only to them. It's kind of a harsh word. Suppressive or anti-social I guess is better, but unfortunately all they want to do is something that is criminal. Yeah, so that probably is and was the last time I really got completely drunk.
A number of things, going back as far as 2008. From the time I was 21 and started drinking back in 1997 up to 2008, I was a regular drinker, but overall I never would get completely hammered. Most of my drinking was done out at bars, which generally pour their drinks weak, so I would base how many drinks I had on how much money I was willing to waste - but I would keep it below $25 most nights. When I stopped going out to the bars and started drinking at home instead, that's where things got more out of control because I would instead drink until I was tired enough to go to bed. It was then I started noticing that that bottle which would normally last me a few days was only lasting me a day or two. Next thing you know I was buying half gallons instead, to save me trips to the liquor store. Also, I started realizing that I couldn't get to sleep at all most nights without at least a few drinks. Staying up to watch the late shows each night and having several drinks in the process became a daily routine. In early 2008 when I went in for a standard checkup with my doctor, that's when I mentioned to him I was drinking more than usual. He prescribed me Zoloft, but that's a whole separate story as to how that turned out - but it was not a good outcome.
When I failed to control myself is when I realised that I needed to change. I could not even plan for the little money that I got. I even lost my job as a result of drinking too much.