Your title answered your question. He is UNWILLING to change. Getting closer to someone who is unwilling to change will drive you completely insane. And why is it selfish for someone to want to help but stay away? He does not want your help, nor anyone's. He flat out said it. If you keep pushing, you will see him walk out of your life. Addicts in full blown addiction are selfish. He is never going to think "Oh wow, I need to stop drinking because my friend doesn't like it". That is not how addicts think, not until they hit rock bottom and need to change. Protect yourself. Be there if he wants help, but don't get involved if he doesn't.