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When to give up.

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Don't know what to do, Jan 18, 2020.

  1. How likely is meth recovery. My significant other has a major problem. Nearly daily use for close to a year. He makes promise after promise thats hes done but never stops. We have little kids and he just begs and promises for us not to leave. Life is hell here. He is not himself at all and its just so hard for me to function for my babies. Everything he does and says to me is so mean and hateful. I feel like he really hates me and only tries to keep me here to use me for whatever he needs from me. He says he wants to stop on his own then the day comes and he puts a wall up and gets it of course, turns to stone and refuses to speak to me and im just destroyed and alone. He will talk like rehab is an option then change his mind thinking he can do it on his own.
    I cant tell if he really wants to stop or if thats all just the evilness of the drug manipultating me. There is so much more idk what to say. Hes on probation and has to do a week in jail and will say thatll get him clean. Is that even nearly enough time? Its been a month on probation and the lady doesnt call back and its just prolonging this situation. I just dont know when to give up. I want my family back but im only suffering here. I dont want to leave him if hes really serious about getting better but i feel like im being used and he is gone. Those rare times when hes actually off it for a day i see him again and honestly that can be worse than the daily pain. I just need to know that me staying here is the right thing. I know its not but how do i give up on him
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    You can't look at it as "Giving up on him"as a former meth abuser myself I will tell you,WE GIVE UP ON OURSELVES!!We learn to believe the lies we tell,listen to the delusion we feed ourselves(I will get sober in jail) for instance,well what about when he gets out?Do you want a life sitting around waiting for him to be caged up to get sober time after time?Aside from your own wants ,needs,desires your first concern needs to be those kids.I can say it and mean it because I was put out after the 15 year mark in my marriage but deep down that pain I felt,losing my family could never hurt as much as if I would have been aloud to stay and then one day find out the kids were on meth.....That I could not accept so ultimately I accept and understand her decision....for the kids,for her happiness....She did the right thing and I think for the kids,yourself perhaps you need to consider a similar solution. I never said it won't hurt,or it will be easy but in my opinion the kids safety ALWAYS TAKES PRIORITY!!
    DoxyMom and Onceaddicted77 like this.