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When Two Addicts Get Married . . .

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Rainman, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. downsouth

    downsouth Active Contributor

    I don't see anything good from marrying another addict unless they are sober. If that is what you mean then yes it may be good for two addicts to marry. If you both are struggling with addiction you get no support from your spouse and have no incentive to get help.
  2. Jil Diamante

    Jil Diamante Member

    One of my cousins as well is an addict. And recently he is having a live in status together with a woman who is also an addict on meth herself. I don't know how these two get along. But I guess one of that is the drugs jamming session.

    What made it weird as well, is that the woman has 4 children, all below 15 years old. It's saddening.
  3. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I'd say the only way in this case is some professional counselling. How can a couple give up drinking when they have probably based their entire relationship on drinking and everything that surrounds it. It sounds like they are more like drinking buddies than a couple. To see clearer, they need a third party that will point out certain facts to them. Often, family members or friends aren't capable of doing that.
  4. ic3squid

    ic3squid Member

    That's a pretty bad thing, two people who like doing the same thing will do that thing further more, with increased intensity. I suggest you should find some sort of help for the two, hopefully it will pull both of themselves out of that mess that they thrown their selves into.
  5. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    I definitely don't think that a person who is a recovering addict should be associating themselves with anyone who is drinking or participating in those kinds of activities on a regular basis, especially to marry them! If I were recovering and my husband were to come home every night and get drunk, or was constantly going out to the bar and drinking, I don't know if I would be able to stay with them. It's one thing to kick back and have a drink on the weekend, or have a few drinks with friends, stuff like that is fine! But if they were drinking that much knowing how much it hurt me and knowing that I couldn't do it as much as I might want to, that's hurtful and not a healthy relationship.
  6. 003

    003 Community Champion

    They shouldn't have married yet. How could be able to change if each of them tolerates the vices of each other. They should be separated, at least for a time. Because if they keep doing what they are doing, then they'd just probably end up with a divorce if things won't really favour them both. I mean they couldn't just remain what they are together. If they're both addicted to alcohol, there would come a time that they'd fight over the alcohol, to whom that last drop should be possibly.
  7. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    Two addicts being married is definitely a recipe for disaster. They are going to be bad influences on eachother. Chances are their addiction will spiral out of control. Hate to be so negative but the percentages definitely arent in their favor.
  8. light

    light Active Contributor

    They are both alcohol addicts and they can understand each other very well because are in the same situation. They can be together in their recovery process and this is very good. If they decide to help each other from the temptation of drinking alcohol then their relationship is going to be so strong that they can build the most harmonious family ever. Otherwise their situation will be worse but I think that they will never abandon each other.
  9. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    This ought to be one of the worse case scenarios ever! So sorry to hear your relative is in such a predicament! It's hard enough when we are talking about one addict, but two living under the same roof? Even if both of them wanted to stay sober things would be very hard, but if both of them just want to keep drinking... well, may god help them Because I don't see how your relative might stop drinking with such a terrible influence :( Best of luck to her!
  10. 6eexthsense

    6eexthsense Member

    Maybe I am being ultra-skeptical cum pessimistic about this marriage, but in my opinion this is a disaster in HD waiting to happen. I am left to ask how they will give much needed support to each other when they are both weak in the knees? I understand that misery loves company that is why an addict most times has other addicts among his/her closest of friends but taking this association to a marriage where there is a chance of having kids is ill adviced. Imagine that kids are born into such a dysfunctional family setup where daddy and mummy drink more than fishes and you will detest the vicious cycle that could be set in motion. This is unfortunate in my opinion.
  11. thash1979

    thash1979 Active Contributor

    I think thus is bad all together. I have a former friend that was in recovery that married an addict. Then they decided to have two kids. All while his sobriety went down the drain due to her still struggling with her demons. Now, both of their children have been taken away. Two people struggling shouldn't be doing this together. People always say that they will help each other get or stay clean. But in reality, there needs to be a strong clean person that has never uses in their corner. It takes a strong willed devoted individual to support and stand by someone that is an addict. There aren't too many good things that could come from two people that have struggles.
  12. Makana

    Makana Member

    Rainman's cousin and her husband must have been united by their common interest in highness. Chances that their intention to marrying each other was so that to assist each other in quitting their habits are very slim. She stood a high chance of quitting substance abuse had she married a sober man.
    However, all is not lost. With the careful intervention of sober minds, the love birds may sober up one day!