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When will it end

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by courage53, Sep 6, 2018.

  1. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @courage53 hey there! thinking of you this morning!

    i hope you have a good weekend!!!!
    courage53 likes this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Good morning, @courage53... How was your weekend? How are you doing? Please let us know when you get a chance. We are here for you!
    courage53 likes this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

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  4. courage53

    courage53 Active Contributor

    My birthday was Sunday and my daughter and her new husband took me out and we had a great time. After that, however, had it out with my husband. Told him everything I've been feeling-if I could afford I would leave(would have a long time ago), that I don't believe a word he says etc. He then confessed to using meth and crack. How can someone lie to you over and over, curse you out for even suggesting they are using then say okay I'm done I won't do it anymore. He expects everything to be hunky dory. He blames me for him using-says if I was there for him he wouldn't do it. What? Thinks I am crazy for saying I want nothing intimate to do with him unless he's tested. I really don't anyway. Now he's all crying saying he might as well kill himself. Oh brother, if I had a nickel for every time I've been on this merry go round. He won't let me detach. Now he's coming home and is relentless with the pulling me back in. I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind.
  5. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @courage53 Happy birthday! I'm glad that you had a nice time with your daughter and son-in-law. Sounds like things are coming to a head with your husband. Have you thought more about attending a support group for loved ones of addicts? I'll leave a couple links one for Al-Anon and one for Nar-anon. I do think that you'll be able to get some great support there that will help you keep your sanity whether you stay or leave.

    https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/
    https://www.nar-anon.org/find-a-meeting/
    courage53 likes this.
  6. courage53

    courage53 Active Contributor

    I have a friend I walk with and she is in AA and she is gonna check on nar anon meetings close by. How am I gonna explain to him that I'm going to a meeting?
  7. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @courage53 i'm' glad she's checking for you.... if it were me, i'd simply state it flat out. i'm going to a support group meeting. see you later dear...

    :) no explanation.....
    True concern and courage53 like this.
  8. courage53

    courage53 Active Contributor

    Always best to be honest. I sure have enough of the dishonesty. Thanks
    Dominica likes this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Belated happy birthday to you, @courage53. I'm happy to hear that you had a nice time with your daughter and your husband. I'm also sorry that your husband is still using and lying to you. Unfortunately, these are pretty common behaviors for an addict. I agree with @Dominica that going to a support group meeting would be a good thing for you. Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings can be very helpful and comforting. There's something about being in a room with people who know exactly what you're going through and feeling that makes things better. And definitely be totally honest with your husband about going to a meeting. If you want honesty from him, you have to be honest yourself.

    We're here for you. Always.
    True concern and courage53 like this.
  10. lonewolves

    lonewolves Community Champion

    Happy Belated Birthday, @courage53 !

    Hope your week gets a bit better after the blow out. I hope your husband can get some help before it’s too late.
    courage53 and deanokat like this.
  11. courage53

    courage53 Active Contributor

    I am going to a meeting. I will never expect honestyy from him and that's okay. I have no control over what he does. But, I do have control over what I do. I'm going my own way. Thanks deanokat
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  12. courage53

    courage53 Active Contributor

    I'm sorry to say he doesn't want help or thinks he needs it. My week has gotten better. I'm getting stronger. I'm realizing how little control I have. I will be here for him if he does decide to get help. In the meantime, I'm taking care of me. Thank you
  13. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @courage53 glad to hear you will go to a meeting...and that you're doing better and feeling stronger. this is your opportunity to yes, take care of you. he probably won't like it (he likes having you caretake him), but you deserve a life where you experience safety, peace, and joy....

    let us know how the meeting goes!! :)
    True concern and courage53 like this.
  14. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I'm so happy to read this, @courage53. This is exactly what you should be doing. Taking care of YOU. And if he decides he wants help, then be supportive. But always put yourself at the top of your priority list!

    I hope you have a wonderful Friday and weekend!
    Dominica and courage53 like this.
  15. courage53

    courage53 Active Contributor

    Thanks deanokat. Hope you have a great weekend too
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  16. courage53

    courage53 Active Contributor

    I will. I also got the book "The Language of Letting go" It's so inspirational.
    deanokat, lonewolves and Dominica like this.
  17. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @courage53 Yes, The Language of Letting Go is great! I read it consistently too!!
    deanokat likes this.
  18. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Awesome, @courage53! Knowledge is power!!!
  19. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @courage53 Happy birthday, I wrote a very long response to your post and my phone messed up and didn't post it however the other's have given great advice and support so Stay Strong and God Bless
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  20. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @courage53 hey there! just checking in to see how you are doing!! I hope you're doing better!
    True concern likes this.