An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

When you say 'Yes' to Others...

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by irishrose, Apr 3, 2016.

  1. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    It's all a matter or maintaining our own space. If we love ourselves and we know who we are we will not say yes just because.
  2. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    Exactly! We will never say yes if we are surefooted and confident in our own world. I believe that all of our lives are really our own mind's creation, so if we let someone else control what our life looks like even for a second, we lose precious time that we won't get back. Saying no is a sign of strength not weakness.
  3. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    So true, we create realities in our heads that many times are unrelated to what is happening in the real world. So we just need to focus on what's best for us on the long run.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I agree with you completely, a lot of people spend so much time making other people happy instead of themselves, and that's a mistake, I think. I agree with the fact that whatever thing you do is going to someway affect somebody else and you don't always have to think about your own well being, but is not necessary to always keep making other people happy, we need to take a look to ourselves first and then, look at other people.
  5. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    No way, we already have a hard time making ourselves happy, why should we worry if others are happy at our expenses?
  6. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    That's true. Not many people realize how important it is to strike a balance between helping others and being kind to yourself. Rather than completely deprive yourself so that you can uplift others, you have to know your limits and learn how to be selfless without losing what you have. It's a complicated matter to mull over but I guess the point here is balance. You can give more when your self is still intact.
  7. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    The key to happiness is that we are happy ourselves and once we achieve that we will have the capacity to make everyone else around us somewhat happier. We will be a ray of light.
  8. integrity101

    integrity101 Active Contributor

    I'm one of those people who still find it hard to say "no" to friends and family but I've learned to put a limit to how far I can bend to pressure. When it's about something that goes against my personal welfare or belief, I'll say a firm NO and stick by it to the end.
  9. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    In order to be good to others we need to be good to ourselves first because if we are a mess how will we be able to help others?
    Donnchadh and deanokat like this.
  10. Donnchadh

    Donnchadh Active Contributor

    Oh yes that little word yes can become a Big problem for a lot of recovering addicts.From my own experience and a lot of people I've listened to during my recovery I was a yes person and in recovery i discovered why it was to please other's and get them off my back and I carried this habit into my recovery until someone pointed out to me that it's OK to say no putting others first isn't an option for me I've had to learn to say no (in certain circumstances ) and put myself first instead of pleasing other's. As the saying goes if you don't put yourself first you can't put anyone else second plus the fact that being a yes person can cause resentments which is not good for recovery.
    deanokat likes this.