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When you tried to help...

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Rosyrain, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. Mayoress

    Mayoress Active Contributor

    Well, I have never experienced this, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happens. This is always the case when someone is blinded by love for something or for someone. Usually, it clouds their sense of judgement and thinking.
  2. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    My best friend is studying something that she doesn't like and it's all because of her family and society in general, and that made me really angry so I decided to talk with her and give her my perspective about it, she didn't spoke to me in one week. That's when I learned that no matter how hard you try, if someone doesn't want to change, they aren't going change. That's it.
  3. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    We have to accept the fact that not everyone wants our help, and they live their life the way they live it. I mean even if they are on a path to self destruction sometimes they just don't seem to care. I have a friend who worked and drank himself into kidney failure, but he was living with his mother repeating the same old patterns. I don;t know maybe he is satisfied with how his life is, but I wouldn't be!
  4. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    The pride is the big problem here. They don't want to accept help because they don't want to admit they need help. Even though it is quite obvious that they are in problem. I have had some friends like that and it hurt me because I felt like ****. It was like I didn't do it with honest intentions. It was like I did it to mock them. It hurt my feeling because it showed that they didn't know me and I made a mistake about letting them in my lives in the first place.
  5. Novelangel

    Novelangel Active Contributor

    Sadly, most of the time, an addict will not respond favorably to non-addicts trying to give them advice. For many, if not most addicts, reaching absolute rock bottom is the only way they learn that you were right. Some might end up out on the street, homeless, jobless, without their marriage partners or families. Others end up in jail or prison, with nothing but time on their hands to think about the direction their lives have taken. Only then will some addicts take the steps toward turning their lives around. They just don't believe that a non-addict will understand what they are going through. In some cases, that assessment is correct, but in many cases, the non-addict might have a complete understanding, either through personal past experience or through careful research.
  6. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    Sometimes we have to let people go and find their own way. I have experienced this and yes it did hurt, but I refuse to stand by and let someone continue to abuse themselves, without saying or doing something about it.
  7. Fyrion

    Fyrion Active Contributor

    As I stated in another post before. If that person does not desire help right now is better to let him/her go or at least to keep some distance and await the need for help. You are free to approach as you like. But by any means don't try to force it. Maybe is a better opportunity to only listen.
  8. Anabanana

    Anabanana Member

    im back at square one with my loved one.. He's been in this repeating circle..And I've kicked him out and he stayed with his GRAMA but then she get mental health issues her own self and she kicked him out.. His baby momma wrote me a horrible text message about how horrible of a job I did raising him cuz he's just the same as he was before the baby was here.. I getting stressed out again he been here a few days and I see already can see it.. Nothing at all has changed...What would u do?
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Anabanana... Letting your loved one--I'm assuming it's your son--stay with you is not going to help him if he's actively using. If he stays with you, there need to be boundaries in place; and the first one has to be no drug use. If you let him stay there while he's using, it's just enabling. Like the old saying goes..."If nothing changes, nothing changes." If someone is comfortable in their situation, they will NOT change. Also...If he's old enough to father a child, he's old enough to live on his own. That's my opinion.
  10. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    In my experience, you can only help a person that actually wants to be helped. You can advise them and give them your opinions, but that's as far as you can go.

    Pushing people to get help, will only make them resist even more, and your the one that they're likely to push away. Once they have admitted they may need help, then it's the time to be there for them and sadly not before.