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Where am I in my recovery

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by DpRasberry, Nov 6, 2018.

  1. DpRasberry

    DpRasberry Member

    So please bare with me on this. My name id Daniel and i'm struggling with being sober and dealing with damage done from my days of addiction. I seem to be doing better and better every day. I'm almost 120 days clean and still cant get any ground made in the relationship between my father in law. He spouts off about "brain damage" and my "next to no chance of remaining clean" as if that is enough reason to stay at a distance and not help out financially while i get back on my feet. I went into an in patient program for 2 months and because of issues with my oldest daughter who's 11 and because of the difficulties with my wife trying to go back to school full time while finding child care for our 20 month old, I came home to help as a stay at home dad. I'm in an out patient program in the evenings and also attending Celebrate Recovery meeting 2 times a week. I'm surrounded by accountability and healthy relationships as well as getting on social security for an income to pay our rent for the next year while the wife is finishing school. My father in law was going to pay the rent while I was in the in patient program and now refuses to help while SSI kicks in and at witch point no assistance from him would be needed. My question really is HERE. Is he right? not for the financial part but on the "brain damage" part. I used for just under 3 years while never using more then 20 or so a day and constant breaks to keep up with the family image. Have I done the damage he's referring to or is he reading things from studies on long term using? Like 10 plus year time users? I don't feel like I'm some brain damaged meth head with rot teeth and uncontrollable worm dancing. I'm studying every day as well as reading and functioning incredibly well as a stay at home dad cooking, cleaning and playing educational games with daughter while playing and even running 2 miles a day. I don't think I'm suffering from long term use damage. Can anyone chime in on this please?
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I believe he is just very "Old school "and probably just remembering a 1970's "This is your brain on drugs":confused: commercial If you have found the strength to get sober and work the steps to stay sober I believe your brain is NOT permanently damagedo_O,So stay focused and I believe you will be fine;).
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @DpRasberry He is NOT right.... the brain (and body) is incredibly resilient and more times than not, knows how to heal itself.... you give your brain and body some solid support and a clean avenue, and watch it SOAR!! i've heard many miraculous stories through the years of people doing things drs (and parents) telling them they couldn't do...

    prove them wrong.

    you're in celebrate recovery... that's awesome! so you're a believer? keep the faith. believe it, and you'll be able to see it. don't believe it, and you want.... ok, in other words, you will get what you believe! (per Jesus)

    keep working your program. be the best dad, husband, friend, disciple, etc. you can be every day as it comes...and trust..... trust that all is well and will be well.... and that your brain IS healing and expanding in consciousness daily.
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @DpRasberry... Your father-in-law is wrong, my friend. So please don't let his feelings discourage you. You are doing wonderful things for yourself. And your brain is NOT permanently damaged.

    Keep doing the next right thing and show your father-in-law that you're not what he thinks you are. Damn, I wish I could shake some sense into him.

    If your father-in-law is willing to do some reading, I recommend that he read Maia Szalavitz's book called Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction. It's a terrific book that that explores the theory that an addict's brain is not "broken," as many other researchers and writers have suggested. Instead, the author argues that the addicted brain has "simply undergone a different course of development."

    I'm super proud of you for all you're doing to better yourself. Congrats, my friend. Please know that we are here to offer you help, support, advice, and a listening ear. You are welcome to come here anytime you need someone to lean on.

    Sending you tons of encouragement. Don't let your FIL get you down!
    True concern likes this.