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Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by redtail57, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. redtail57

    redtail57 Member

    I am an addict . I'm 61 years old . I have been on oxy and klonopin (high doses) of both for 35 years . The oxy for REAL documented pain with many injuries and surgeries . The kpins for PTSD from my military service . Now they have cut my oxy out and have me on subutex and cut my kpins in half and are threatening to stop my kpins cold turkey . Subutex does nothing for pain and only a small percentage manage to get off of it . They want me on ssri's. They don't work for me . Some made me suicidal , mean and downright sick . So I am a dead man walking . 24 Veterans kill themselves every day and the majority of their tox screens show ssri's. Read the side effects of them. Suicidal thoughts is just one . They take away the medicine that works then kill them with ones that don't . How long do l have ?
    A Disabled Veteran
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @redtail57 hey there. good to meet you here. thank you for your service to this country...and i'm sorry you experienced all that you did.... ptsd is no joke, as you know. and chronic pain... ugh.

    are you able to switch to a new doctor? someone who will go at this differently? coming off klonopin cold turkey is downright dangerous... they should not be threatening that... !!!

    i don't know much about subutex... but darn... i can see why you're upset. you have the ultimate say regarding SSRI's... but i know you feel like your back is against the wall. is there another hospital you could get a second opinion? (VA hospital I am assuming)...

    i wish i could help... but know that i'm here to listen. come here and vent...and at the same time tell more about you... we're interested and welcome you here. i hope others have some good advice for you. i know @True concern will :)

    i found an interesting article that talks about veterans using opioids and benzos.... it discusses medical marijuana as an option, but it stresses the need for a COMPREHENSIVE STRATEGY for getting off or weaning off both.... check it out.. might have something in there that speaks to you....

    https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/07/mil...dical-marijuana-to-kick-opioid-addiction.html
    redtail57 likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @redtail57... Welcome to the community and thank you--from the bottom of my heart--for your service to our country. People like you are the reason why this country is so great.

    I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. And @Dominica is right: Quitting Klonopin (or any benzodiazepine) cold turkey, or even cutting your dosage too drastically, can be dangerous and even life-threatening. Whoever told you they may cut your Klonopin down to zero cold turkey is being negligent.

    Definitely get a second opinion if you can. And know that we are here to help, support, and listen. We are not medical doctors, but we are a loving group of people who truly care.

    Read that article Dominica linked to. It's a good one. Have you ever tried medical marijuana? It might really help you.

    Sending you lots of positive, healing energy. I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving. And thank you again for your service.

    Please come back as often as you'd like.
    redtail57 likes this.
  4. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @redtail57 Thank you for your service as @deanokat said it is people like you who have made this country great and your sacrifices give us all freedom.I was on a very high dose of oxycontin year's back,about 320mg's a day,I quit cold turkey and I do not advise that I almost died several times. As for good advice I don't really have any that hasn't already been shared as far as check with another Dr. My dad is a Vet,my son in law is a Vet so I try to learn as much as possible medical wise to benefit Vet's, so I hope I don't get a bunch of angry messages for pointing this out but President Trump has already signed an executive order to allow Vet's to see Dr's outside of the VA and the government pays the bill.Its not like it was before he took office where the VA was you're only option,YES it still takes a little research when finding a Dr but you can now find a private practice specialist in addiction, chronic pain treatment,Pain management, etc.How much time do you have?I pray you have many year's to come but you can't give up because they are making inhumane threats about cutting you off and I know you won't give up,you're a soldier and fighting is what soldier's do only difference is this fight is not for us this one's for you and believe me my friend you are worth the work,I encourage you to make some phone calls in your area and find yourself a better more humane Dr, they are out there but some time's it takes a bit of work to find them.Dont give up,Never give up.I hope this helped in some small way.STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS
    redtail57, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  5. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @True concern thanks for posting that. i didn't know trump signed that order. my daughter's bf is a vet and i'm sure he would like to know that....

    @redtail57 check into that! and i hope you have a great holiday!
    redtail57 and True concern like this.
  6. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    It's the least I could do,one thing I have learned in life is people some time's focus to much on what they hear,for instance Trump's rhetoric...I don't approve of a lot of thing's he says but I look into what he actually has done and the accomplishment's to help American's is very long.I am not suggesting you are one of these people I am just explaining.I don't follow politics to much anymore because it is an absolute power struggle between both republicans and democrats and they only appear to want to destroy each other and the reality is we are not defined by a political party we are defined by who we are and what we do and red state or blue state I don't care we are all Americans and we should focus on what makes us the greatest country in the world and that is freedom which many have gave the ultimate sacrifice to ensure so today on thanksgiving I am truly grateful for the men and women who have given me the opportunity to sit down in peace with my family and discuss everything I am grateful for.Have a beautiful day everyone:)
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  7. redtail57

    redtail57 Member


    Thanks for your reply . I have a card that I am supposed to be able to present to any private Dr. and the VA will pay the bill . I have tried for years to use it but have not found a Dr. that will honor it. Its their choice to do so or not.
  8. redtail57

    redtail57 Member


    Thanks for your reply and information - Peace
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Unfortunately that is true,it is up to the private practice whether to honor it or not and some time's it may require more effort than we would like to find what we are looking for but as addicts I know first hand if we want something bad enough we won't stop until we find it,if it were me I would search for a private practice Dr as if it were the dope I use to do.I am not making a comparison between finding a Dr and finding a dealer as equally important, I am just trying to suggest some thing's are harder to find than other's but usually those thing's we fight harder for are worth more.STAY STRONG MY FRIEND
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    That's terrible, @redtail57. I hope things change soon. I admit that I don't like our current president, but if he can make things better for our veterans, I'll give him the credit he deserves.
    Dominica and True concern like this.
  11. redtail57

    redtail57 Member

    Yeah , he promised the Veterans a lot but I haven't seen much come from it . We ( veterans ) are disposable . I don't know what bill true concern is referring to but a few years ago I got a card in the mail from the VA about Veterans Choice . https://www.va.gov/COMMUNITYCARE/programs/veterans/VCP/index.asp It never worked for me . If there is a VA hospital 50 miles or further from you then you can use it. My VA is 35 miles away . That is just the beginning of the red tape . I wish true concern would let me know about this bill Trump signed .
  12. redtail57

    redtail57 Member

    My results from the eligibility test. Oh, marijuana is illegal in my state . Although my primary care Dr. told me that they are now dispensing it but only to cancer patients . Yet in a report issued by the VA discusses the benefits of it for Veterans with PTSD and pain . WTF ?

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Nov 25, 2018
    Dominica likes this.
  13. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    It is something else Trump passed called " Right to choose"for any American with terminal illnesses, even ecstasy for P.T.S.D.,etc.I will search for the info about what I have been saying and report it back,although I believe it could probably be found fairly easy through a Google search, but I will check it out and get back to you @redtail57
    deanokat likes this.
  14. redtail57

    redtail57 Member

    I know one thing , I took one tablet of mdma ( ecstasy ) and spent the whole night in a closet praying to Jesus to make it stop . I will never take it again -never!
    deanokat, Dominica and True concern like this.
  15. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @redtail57 oh wow... sounds horrific. glad you made it out alive and won't do that again!!! :)

    how are you doing anyway? besides that...
    redtail57, deanokat and True concern like this.
  16. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    :(
    redtail57 likes this.
  17. redtail57

    redtail57 Member

    I have seen better days for sure....I have an appointment with a new behavioral health clinic Thursday . I hope it goes well . They take Medicare so that's good . I have become literally scared to death of the VA. Ectasy for PTSD? Thanks for asking .:(
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  18. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I am sorry to hear about you're experience with ecstasy it does indeed sound horrible, please just so I am clear I have nothing but extreme love for all veterans and I only post what I have read/heard about certain treatments,I in no way know if they work I just try to through out information in hope's that combined info from this community helps.I do not intend to sound as if I am pushing any agenda medically or politically I just want to try and help so if I seem to be miss informed or inaccurate at any time it is possible however I would rather be wrong but try because I care.That being said I hope and pray you're upcoming appointment goes well
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  19. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @redtail57 @True concern those that are doing ecstasy or shrooms for terminally ill... they are in a controlled environment and microdosing... it's more of a spiritual experience.. not recreationally. and they have a person monitoring and guiding through the experience. i wouldn't recommend anyone doing those things on their own... but is there a place in therapy for such? perhaps. i've not done a lot of study on the clinical trials (if there are any).

    that's great about your appt. i pray it goes well and you find a compassionate and helpful dr./counselor.... whatever you need for continued healing on all levels.
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  20. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I hope your appointment on Thursday goes well, @redtail57. I am praying for you. You deserve some relief.
    Dominica and True concern like this.