I have been depressed for as long as I can remember-from my earliest childhood memories. I began drinking at age 12 and I remember being so depressed that I thought that if I hadn't found alcohol, I surely would've killed myself at a young age. The alcohol helped me cope. Then it ruined my life. After 30 years of chronic relapsing, I am now 5 1/2 years sober. But I believe it is only because I addressed the depression AND the addiction at the same time. So, my question is...What came first for you? Did the depression lead to substance abuse or did the substance abuse cause your depression?