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who should mentor a substance abusing child

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by Igotthebuzz, Oct 5, 2014.

  1. Daniel Lucky

    Daniel Lucky Active Contributor

    I feel the best advice is given from someone who has walked the walk. For me I would admire the person who has walked in my shoes feeling they knew the struggle and felt the ups and downs of what I was going through. I know that most of the time I over looked or wouldn't really listen to those who went to school and learned about what I went through!
    Jen S. likes this.
  2. allswl

    allswl Member

    If a child is abusing some substance then I would have to go with an adult here. Stability, rules, and responsibility are going to be needed by the abuser who is (I hope) trying to save themselves. Someone close to their age wont be able to be monitor them properly nor off the right level of supervision.
  3. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    Parents should when looking for a mentor, find out about the person and what they can and cannot do for the child. All this needs to be discussed and, person should be someone who can be a positive influence and one who is reformed and progressed real far of changing life around. The person should be firm with child, and try and tell their own story and what they did to stop taking drugs and the journey to it. Parents should be around when this is happening, and be updated with what is going happening.
  4. Allen24

    Allen24 Active Contributor

    I think there are benefits to both. Can both participate? Kids relate well to other kids but they would need some guidance and supervision when it comes to being a mentor. It could potentially be a great relationship between all parties.
  5. cynamarie

    cynamarie Member

    I agree, a reformed child would be most beneficial. Perhaps even a big brother/sister. I work as an agent for youth motivational speakers and the kids tend to gravitate towards males in their twenties to listen to. I suppose they just feel that there is more of a connection there.
  6. Regret

    Regret Member

    This. A full non-judgmental adult with a high level of empathy and an understanding of drug abuse is the best mentor: preferably an adult family member, following that a drug abuse therapist. The ability to connect with the child, as Jen S. remarked, is the most important prerequisite.

    What is absolutely destructive to the child's emotional stability is this:
    The talk must connect with the child on the same level.

    Reformed children don't have the years of perspective necessary to properly manage advice and can be an unpredictable influence in life.
  7. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    I think that anyone who has experience with reformation and turning their livs around can help someone else. It also depends on the child that has reformed because often they are not ready to help someone else as it takes a long time in recovery before you can say, yes I am safe now.
    Depends on their own strength.
  8. I think it is easier to relate to someone who is at a similar age range. Perhaps an older person can supervise to ensure that the child mentor can cope with all the dynamics that led to the other child becoming an addict. Some things require a more mature head to help guide the young mind on the right path.
  9. Determined2014

    Determined2014 Senior Contributor

    It would be much much better from a reformed child, this will give the child hopeknowing that if a fellow child like them can get reformed, then they will have hope that they too can get reformed.
  10. proldani

    proldani Member

    In my opinion, anyone who dares to become a mentor for a substance abuse child must be ready and willing to have an open mind and the courage to stand up for the child with lots of love, particularly when faced with situations involving relapse and withdrawal symptoms, which must be brutal for a small human being who shouldn't have to be dealing with the horrors of addiction in the first place.
  11. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I think a reformed child is not the best person to mentor another child mainly because he's not qualified enough and he doesn't have the expertise or skill to guide the affected child.After all,he's just a child who needs guidance on how not to relapse.
  12. geegee

    geegee Active Contributor

    I talked to some kids when I was visiting a rehab. The youngest one I saw there was around 11 y/o. He had a "big brother" who was a couple of years older than him. For the basic stuff, he looks up to his "big brother". Older people at the rehab assisted the "big brother" though. It's nice that he's got another kid to look up to, but I think it was wise to not leave all the mentoring to the big brother.
  13. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I'd just like to add that ideally it would be the parents who should mentor e child, but if he or she is abusing substances then chances are the parents have already failed and are obviously incapable of the responsibility they have chosen for themselves. The best way would be to find a better role model for the child and if they can manage to find one themselves that is in line with their own personality and interests then that would be optimal.
  14. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    I think that the best person to mentor a child is someone that the child looks up to. It can be an aunt, an older sibling, a teacher or even a favorite cousin. The mentor chosen must understand the child so that they are open to receiving help. This person must have a positive attitude.
  15. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    I've never really though about this, but I would think that just having someone responsible that the child trusts would be good. I would think that if the substance abusing child is trying to cure his addiction, then their withdrawal symptoms would make them paranoid and angry, and I think it's good to have someone to disclose feelings or know to trust. Whoever that person is is dependent on the way the child thinks.
  16. MissLisa

    MissLisa Member

    I think that a reformed child mentor may be the best person to do so. This child is close in age, and can relate better than an older mentor.