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Why am I here?

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Adrianna, Dec 14, 2014.

  1. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Basically I love helping people with these kind of problems. I had one boyfriend that was an alcoholic. Unfortunately my Mom and Dad have a problem currently. I am a firm believer in Scientology's Purification course that is 100% effective for detox. My parents have a prescription drug problem and they have to throw alcohol on top of that. I dealt with it as a child and never realized. Now as an adult I see the issue clear as day. Especially with the verbal attacks and lack of compassion. Hopefully they don't hurt themselves with this.
  2. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    I'm sorry to hear about your ex-boyfriend and your parents, Adrianna. We're glad to have you here, though. It's tough being a child and having to deal with the consequences of someone else's addiction because we often don't know what to do when we're that young. Even as adults, we can spend some time wondering what happened and why, until it clicks and you realize that something wasn't right way back then.
  3. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Sorry to hear about your situation, but I'm glad you are able to fight through it. I'd like to hear more about this purification process if you wouldn't mind elaborating further. I'm curious to hear what types of treatment are involved in helping people off substance abuse you guys use.
  4. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Soo sad to hear about your parents and what they are going through.You mentioned that you love helping people with such problems.Question is,what are you doing about it? I challenge you to take matters into your own hands and see if you can help them out.They probably would change for the better if you stepped in and offered your advise no matter how they might view your opinion
  5. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    Careful Adrianna, helping others too much is also a sign of you are hiding from something too. I'm not implying I know what that is, but I've seen and read things regarding this type of behavior, one of them being my own two oldest sisters.

    However, I do respect your tolerance to care for others who have drug problems. I absolutely doubt there is a 100% effective detox program for humans external from one self, because only a individual truly knows the reasons behind their addiction problems and how he/she will solve it or not - I can believe in a 99.9% detox program, because all humans will have flaws and errors, especially in their creation of rational concepts and practices derived from it. The only savior for any man or woman, regarding addictions, is their self.
  6. Fern

    Fern Active Contributor

    I grew up with a mom who was an alcoholic and liked her weed when she could get it safely, usually from a cousin. I have THAT kind of family, where the family reunion has fruit soaked in moonshine and a haze of pot smoke and if someone happened to mention to someone someone else that there appeared to be marijuana plants growing way out on the back 40 acres, she would swear that they're almost never up there and she has no idea what you're talking about.

    Now mom is (intentionally on the Doctor's part) addicted to narcotic pain meds. She's nearing end of life so the doctor's are generous but she's getting extra from another source too. Growing up with her as my primary parent was rough some days but now she can be even more difficult to deal with. She's very childish and always either angry or or feeling sorry for herself.

    I think it's great that you want to help others with their addictions even after what you've been through. I cringe back sometimes from people who are so addicted that they act like my mom.
    Nick W. likes this.
  7. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    " Careful Adrianna, helping others too much is also a sign of you are hiding from something too. I'm not implying I know what that is, but I've seen and read things regarding this type of behavior, one of them being my own two oldest sisters. "

    That's an interesting point; I many times in my life tried to "fix" people thinking it would make me happier, and it did not work, and later on they fixed themselves and, even though I was happy for them, I still felt a bit off. Realized there were many flaws in me needing to be fixed, too. I'm still trying.

    With that said, I hope you have a whole lot of love and patience, Adrianna, and that your family will get better.
  8. NDIT54

    NDIT54 Member

    As somebody who does actually have a problem with themself, I can really see what bluedressed means by that, and out of my experience wanting to help people a lot can definitely have an underlying reason. I've seen other people do it, and I myself do it unfortunately, but the fact that I can see it in myself makes me more comfortable with it. It can really be a mix of your personality and internal struggles you're having, but there isn't anything wrong with being a good person, it's just about knowing when you need to draw the line because a lot of the times in my experience, i was the one in need of help for almost every situation that i helped somene else with. It isnt a very fun road and it could be what lead you here. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation and very much hope it can get resolved somehow :/ Just remember that through the hard times, the hardest thing to do is keep a clear head but you really need to do that and take little steps day by day in whatever will help your situation to get better. Good luck Adrianna and remember you can't always change people, but you can find ways to influence them positively somehow :)
  9. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Welcome Adrianna. I see you're here to share with us what you're going through currently with your parents. It has got to be difficult when reality kicks in. I pray that you are doing okay.
  10. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    Hahha of course there is not something wrong in being good! I know that people judge people who do good deeds out of selfishness or ulterior motives; I am not one of those. I think if you helped someone, if this person is better off because of you, then we should be thankful. But I think you really did get what I mean; because "fixers" can go too far sometimes or lose their ways trying to help others find theirs (quote stolen from a TV show). I think it's just important to know what our motives are because, even if it feels good to help others and it IS good, not knowing might lead us to not know when to pick our fights and when to let go, because we're scared of failure when in fact, we should just learn to have patience and let people manage for a while on their own, y'know? And also because it's important to know what your grudges against yourself are -- and I'm not talking about either one of you but about me and anyone who might identify with this: I know I have issues against myself, and I tend to project them on others. This leads me to blaming other people for my flaws and trying to fix it on them, before fixing it on myself.

    And it turns out many time that they DO have to fix it. But so do I. And then we can all help each other. I dunno. It's just about awareness, right? And trying our best. So yeah. Good luck! And I really adhere to the part where "remember you can't always change people, but you can find ways to influence them positively somehow :)"

    Rings true. Thanks.
  11. NDIT54

    NDIT54 Member

    Well thank you :) It really is about awareness and helping each other but with the whole helper thing, yeah some people like myself get sucked into other peoples lives probably just to get me away from more of my own flaws, but lately i've really been knocking a lot back into place. It all just takes time and the best you can do during that time even if it doesn't feel like you did your best.
  12. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    You should be proud that you didn't pick up on their habits. Your parents set a bad example and you shouldn't be the one teaching them a lesson how wrong this is. They were supposed to provide compassion and support but failed to deliver. If you're beating yourself up over their issues, then don't. I am certainly one to assure you that children are the victims in these cases and not the parents. I believe they owe you an apology. Once they do that, they will have realized they have issues that need to be addressed. However, we could never turn our back on them, despite the bad times they've put us through. It's just the way family is.
  13. Jatelo2

    Jatelo2 Member

    My sympathies, I believe you are in the right forum and will certainly get help for your family. While I don't know a lot about Scientology's Purification, the general idea I get is that it is quite intensive and expensive. Would you care to share more.. I might suggest it to a friend in the future
  14. lgdg090596

    lgdg090596 Senior Contributor

    Sorry to hear about that. And keep the helping other people up!
  15. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your parents. I hope you still have other decent members of the family to count on, like your siblings, for example? If both of your parents are alcoholics, then I guess their siblings can step in and make them go to rehab? Did you already tell them to change or seek professional help? What did they say?
  16. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Are you interested in helping the people around you especially your parents? It's nice that you're actively sharing the things you've witnessed but I do think you'll feel a deeper sense of fulfillment if you intervene and help your parents overcome their prescription addiction. Perhaps you can also research further on alternative medication for the sake of your parents.
  17. May102014

    May102014 Active Contributor

    You're here because you are one of those few people who experienced a not so good childhood. Through your experiences you can help other people in this forum and you'll serve as an example. Also you can serve as an inspiration not to give up on life.
  18. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I'm sorry to hear about your current situation now. I know it's quite difficult to have experienced/witnessed all those kinds of things. And I know with your full knowledge about alcohol and substance abuse, you'll be able to help more people. Best of luck in life!
  19. oleskool

    oleskool Member

    The answer to why am I here in this forum, is hard to say. I had an ex-husband that had a serious drinking problem, it seems to run in his family. My grandson's are entering their teens and I want to know what to look for and how I can help if drugs or alcohol become a part of their lives. It is not as easy to avoid such things as it was when their parents were growing up in this world today.
  20. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    Like others have mentioned, be proud and thankful of yourself that you didn't catch their habits, as you all could've come off bad if it wasn't for someone "rational". I remember that when I was in my younger ages, I used to have a friend that struggled a lot with his family that would take drugs on a daily basis. They were cool people, and very modest, too, but they just had different opinions than the general conventional ones concerning drugs. They thought it was ok to learn their children have drugs, but luckily, Bill (that was the name of the guy) knew it was bad, and put his mind at use to make some money to start off alone in life, which he successfully did. I think now he's in Argentina or Chile, didn't heard of him for about 7 years.
    Anyway, back to you, I think you should be grateful, but keep it this way, don't even try to change yourself for others, not even for your family, in this case!