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Why Can’t I Quit Weed?

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by lonewolves, Jun 4, 2018.

  1. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    Wow A lots been talked about since my last post! Lol so yes josh and true (I’m going to continue to call you that till you give me your first name ;) ) I definitely think we are very similar. Different substances sure but addiction is addiction. So I don’t think there are different categories of addiction but rather different stages. None of us started out as full blown addicts. My addiction didn’t begin as ugly as it ended. I heard in treatment that “addiction is like a pregnancy, the longer it goes on the more it shows”. And that precisely how I view addiction, we all know it’s a progressive disease. It grows and evolves. But once that switch flips there’s no going back. And that’s the tricky part of think, the line that we cross that we can’t come back from is different for everyone. I thinks that’s why it’s been difficult to distinguish between abuse and addiction. Anyway enough about that. I’m not sure if this advice was given to you yet @True concern but maybe offer to take your uncle to a meeting. And @Josh111187 see if you can get your hands on the AA big book (AA’s version of the basic text). AA’s been around since the 1930s soNA’s text was written based off of The big book. I have both books. Both are great but I love the history behind AA. It has more stories and background and I find all of that stuff so fascinating. Bill W and Dr Bob are pretty bad ass dudes who were SO ahead of their time.
    deanokat, True concern and lonewolves like this.
  2. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    @Josh111187 im just spit balling here but maybe we could somehow do mini meetings on here? You only need two people for a meeting right? ;)
    Josh111187, deanokat and lonewolves like this.
  3. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    I’m glad I’m here too and that I’ve gotten to meet such wonderful genuine people. I heard that saying too in my last round of treatment (the one I got sober through) that while I’m in a meeting or while I was in group my addiction was out in the parking lot doing push-ups just waiting for me. I’ve meet enough addicts who’ve relapsed and a good portion of the time it was because they got complacent or were feeling “better” so they stopped going to meetings or doing all the **** necessary to stay sober. I figured my addiction isn’t going to let its guard down I better not either. So a few months ago, I asked my dad why he thought some people relapse or something along those lines and he said so matter of factly “they stopped doing what was necessary to stay sober”. It’s SO SIMPLE but to me it was so profound. Relapses don’t “just happen”. There’s usually a significant amount of time where the person didn’t do what was necessary (meetings, sponsor, calling people in the program) before they actually take that first drink or drug. Like we know what we have to do to stay sober, we know we have to work for it, if we keep doing what we’re doing we’re going to continue to stay sober.
    @Josh111187 whens your 4 months? I want to know so I can congratulate you when the time comes!
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Thanks so much, @True concern. It's so difficult watching someone you love struggle with something they can't find help for, isn't it? I appreciate the prayers, my friend.
    Josh111187 and True concern like this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Here's the thing about my uncle,he loves Meth and has no problem saying he doesn't care what it does or who it upsets and he plans on doing it until he's dead.He says he can't deal with reality ever so even though it affects everyone in a negative way he does not care,i will see if he still feels that way when he get's out of jail and if he does i cannot invest any time in him but if he stays sober i will try only time will tell.Did you get a new puppy?
    lonewolves and Josh111187 like this.
  6. Josh111187

    Josh111187 Community Champion

    Well, I have absolutely no problem being called josh, as Joshua is my first name.
    People only call me by my Joshua when they are mad at me though, so I go by Josh. And I am really 30 years old because 111187 is my birthday. Short of my social security number there's not much you can't find out about someone with a simple Google search.
    So there it is I'm Josh.
    And about the sobriety date I'm not 100 percent sure if I should count the three days I was in a coma, so I don't. Because if I was conscious and able to use I might have. I do know when I woke up I was in terrible pain from the worst seizure I've ever had and had almost bitten the left side of my tounge completely off. So I was on a morphine drip. But on march 13th I told them via a letter I wrote to the nurse that I wanted them to stop the morphine, I was really enjoying it.
    So they told me they could not administer Suboxone in the hospital but I compromised and excepted methadone via iv for the duration of the time I was inpatient at the hospital.
    And I consider that my sobriety date because if you've ever been a hard core opiate addict you know methadone does NOT AT ALL get you through a whole 24 hours, which is how often you get it. And since I was in pain and made that decision anyway when I could have had around the clock morphine, well I feel like that was the beginning off my 100% clean time even though for almost a year before this last trip to the er I only used three times I think, and that was the abuse of what I was prescribed.
    So 4 months 13th of next month.
    I actually had to go look at the paperwork from the hospital so I was clear on the dates myself. So I think I hit three months about a week before I thought I did.
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  7. Josh111187

    Josh111187 Community Champion

    I should also mention that the seizure that I had was not because I have epilepsy, that probably made it worse than I think it would have been. But it was drug induced as I had just injected a whole Subutex tablet and I would NEVER have injected that much at once but I had just taken about 130 mgs of Valium and didn't give a crap about anything. My needle was dull and I didn't think I could find another vein again with the same rig so I said screw it and pumped that whole syringe into me at once.
    Well when I woke up I realized that I had come close to dying a number of times before this, and usually in the same manner. And my son was crying at the foot of the bed, I was angry at the time that they let him see me like that.
    But when I was told the odds were against me living through that and that's why they let him see me, that was it I'm done.
    So later I was at home without meds because I had abused them and was sick as h××l, really like never this dope sick without eventually getting a fix. And that's when I found you guys.
    lonewolves likes this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I'm glad you found this site and i'm happy your little boy has his daddy back
    deanokat and Josh111187 like this.
  9. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    I am so glad you’re here! You have such a great story!! I hope one day you consider sharing at like a speaker meeting or something. You’re story is inspiring and would let addicts know they too can achieve what seems impossible. I rescued a puppy about a week ago, he’s very sick, his trachea is too small and curved so almost every breath seems like a struggle. The breeders said they weren’t going to put any money into him so I figured I’d take him and at least try. Problem is surgery for his problem costs between $6000 and $10000. INSANE. And I certainly can’t afford that. So there’s a possibility he could grow out of it, we have him on some meds. But I’ve fallen in love with the little guy. I don’t want him to suffer either so I’ve decided to give it a few months, if there’s no improvement we may need to put him down which breaks my heart but would seem like the right thing to do? Idk I’m afraid I fucked up, like maybe I should have just bit the bullet and bought a healthy puppy cuz now my whole family is in love with this sick pup and it hurts me to see him struggle
    deanokat, lonewolves and Josh111187 like this.
  10. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    I question if I did the right thing or not
  11. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    You have a heart so yes you did the right thing
    deanokat and lonewolves like this.
  12. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I understand trying for the little guy he's cute and i pray he out grows it,when i was 12 i got my first full time job and got a cat from a shelter and the cat had a bad hip so i spent 1'800$ for the cat to have surgery and nursed it back to health and as soon as i let the cat out of the cage it was healing in the cat got out side and was gone...It made me pretty sad
  13. Josh111187

    Josh111187 Community Champion

    Right thing? Why question a sober loving heart? I believe that absolutely you did the right thing. And whatever the outcome may be, I pray Gods will be done, but whatever the outcome I'm positive that there is not a person better suited than you to make that puppys time on this earth as happy and full of joy as possible. Even if you had gotten a healthy puppy you and your family would outlive him or her.
    Just enjoy the time you have and not worry about what the next day brings.
    Hey you like the AA NA quotes, here's the gold standard, Just take it a day at a time.
  14. Josh111187

    Josh111187 Community Champion

    And he is super cute I don't think I could have passed him up either.
    When I've always picked a puppy I have always gotten the runt of the litter, idk I just root for the little guy I guess.
    True concern likes this.
  15. lonewolves

    lonewolves Community Champion

    @CMMW - MY HEART FEELS SO FULL RIGHT NOW. What a cutie! Definitely the right call, in my opinion!
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  16. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I would tell you my name but for some reason you are the only person i Cannot send an inbox message to,it will not let me i tried lol
  17. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @CMMW... OMG! That puppy is soooooooooooooooo adorable!!!! Congrats!!!