Why do addicts act the way they do?

Drug addiction escalates as an addict develops greater and greater tolerance. For family members and friends who have never had drug problems, it's always hard to understand why. It even becomes harder to watch an addict's downhill slide. It becomes painful to watch somene you loved get deeper into the depths of addiction, a decline which sooner or later leads to serious health problems or even death if something is not done about it.

Addists act the way they do because the addictions skew their motivations. I believe it's because they often OVER-VALUE immediate emotional needs that they delive from the drugs they use and UNDER-VALUE the rational consenquences of drug abuse that they are well too aware of. Any other reasons why?

I have seen programs that help family members and friends of such addicts understand why addicts act the way they do and how they feel as addiction affects their lives. Most programs call it the 'Addiction experience'. Would you consider such programs a step forward?

It depends on the message. The AA big book repeatedly talks about the addict's low self esteem and how fragile it can be. That might be true for some, but not all. Once my ex went into full blown alcoholic, he became the most arrogant, conceited, and narcissistic man I ever met. Our therapist told us to stop using AA mottos and definitions to excuse his behavior because he was obviously not feeling any of the self esteem issues they discussed. He twisted everything in the program to what he wanted to hear.

One group told me that I needed improvement and he was drinking because I needed work. That he would get sober if I was a better person. That is TOTAL crap. sorry. And at the time, I was so fragile I believed it. The other problem I have with the "Why are they addicts" concept is that now it is labeled as a disease and disability. So now you have a bunch of people, who if they were sober would be able to function with a job, but instead they hide behind the disease and blame it, not their own choices or actions. And at the same time, they are collecting disability from the government.

and yes, SOME addicts do pull the "don't blame me, it is the disease"... while they are gulping down their beer.

I think programs for families and friends can be very beneficial. People often overlook how addictions weigh on loved ones. Those supports need their own support sometimes. It can help everyone involved. The loved ones can learn how to best deal with the addict and all that comes along with it.

Yes, this sounds very beneficial. While a lot of that information can be found online, many people may benefit from going to a program or seminar because they can ask questions in person and make connections with others who are or have dealt with similar situations. Personal connections and support is very important, especially for someone who is struggling with stress and discouragement as a result of dealing with a loved one's addiction.

I think, with any serious issue, experience will triumph pure theory that they read online. Going somewhere where you could meet others in the same situation as you (addicted family member) and find out their techniques for dealing with it.
About the program itself, it sounds interesting. Finding out someone's motives is always a good way of sorting a problem since you can target it to a point that could treat someone very quickly (by changing their motives, although it's harder than it sounds). It's up to the addict though, only if they are willing to embrace change.

As someone who is dealing with a cousin who I care about very deeply suffering because of her addiction to Xanax, I'd have to agree with such programs. Initially, when I came to know about my cousin's addiction, I often could not understand the way she was behaving. To be honest, sometimes I still don't know. It's very difficult for a family member to come to terms with how the addict is acting. I wish I could have had such a program to help me when I first found out about my cousin's addiction.

In my opinion people who suffer from any kind of addiction will let that addiction control their life. I've seen many of my friends lose everything they have just so they can buy more drugs and keep getting that high feeling. It's very difficult to see your friends or even family go through a change in their personality just because they can't stop being addicted. It's quiet hard to help people with an addiction when they feel like nothing is wrong with them.

We face an enormous amount of helplessness ourselves when a loved one suffers from drug or alcohol addiction. If you're a parent, you might feel the guilt of having done wrong by your child, somehow adding to their addition. If you're a spouse or a partner, even when the addiction preceded your relationship, it's very difficult to avoid feeling somehow responsible or, worse, somehow the cause. The challenged we all face when the ones we love suffer from addiction are finding that right place for ourselves in the mess created by others. Yes, it is a step forward to seek out help from others who have been through similar experiences. Perhaps the best outcome from participating in such groups is to find someone who has been through recovery with a addict, someone who has watched a loved one make the long journey from addiction into sobriety and stay there. What they can share will help shed light on the process and help you see that question like, "why do they act the way they do?" do not have easy answers. That addicts are essentially in love with the substance they cannot shake, even when they profess love to you, and so you must guard against being manipulated. They can also help you see that recovery is possible and what recovery looks like. The worst thing you can do when entangled in a relationship with a substance abuser is to try to go it alone. Take that step. Join that group. It will help.

I've honestly never heard of this before but it sounds very helpful. I think a lot of people do tend to just skip this issue as it doesn't seem as drastic as other aspects of addiction but it is very fundamental in healing for both the addict and the people around them, in my opinion. Knowing what the addicted person is going through will surely help a lot with trying to figure out the reasons behind their actions and also it may help in figuring out a better way of talking to them.

We face an enormous amount of helplessness ourselves when a loved one suffers from drug or alcohol addiction. If you're a parent, you might feel the guilt of having done wrong by your child, somehow adding to their addition. If you're a spouse or a partner, even when the addiction preceded your relationship, it's very difficult to avoid feeling somehow responsible or, worse, somehow the cause. The challenged we all face when the ones we love suffer from addiction are finding that right place for ourselves in the mess created by others. Yes, it is a step forward to seek out help from others who have been through similar experiences. Perhaps the best outcome from participating in such groups is to find someone who has been through recovery with a addict, someone who has watched a loved one make the long journey from addiction into sobriety and stay there. What they can share will help shed light on the process and help you see that question like, "why do they act the way they do?" do not have easy answers. That addicts are essentially in love with the substance they cannot shake, even when they profess love to you, and so you must guard against being manipulated. They can also help you see that recovery is possible and what recovery looks like. The worst thing you can do when entangled in a relationship with a substance abuser is to try to go it alone. Take that step. Join that group. It will help.

Addicts act the way they do because they are under the influence of a drug, they are not acting rationally or normally. The drug is in control, not the person. Any program that helps a family member understand what an addict is going through can be a helpful one, especially if the program is helping family members understand the particular drug that their loved one is addicted to.

To many addicts, drugs are a form of escapism. They have responsibilities they are unable to fulfill so they must find a way to get that off their mind. They've done some bad things and want to forget that. Some just want to feel 'high'. The reasons vary from individual to individual and when addressing the issue of addiction, the only way to prevent this person from coming back to drugs is by fixing those issues, having them accept themselves the way they are / give them hope that they can change their lives, convince them to forgive themselves if they'd done something wrong and move on. If none of those issues are addressed then quite obviously, the addict will go back straight to their addiction.

I understand where you're coming from. It's very hard for a third party bystander to understand. Although, addiction is a disease. While they do undervalue consequences and over value reward, they aren't in the right start of mind at these times. They are fueled by drug-ridden thoughts and battling something within themselves

To use the "..but its not me its my disease" is, in my opinion, a cop out for many people who do not want to be responsible for their actions and the consequences of their actions. Yes, addiction can and does effect behavior but I think most people have to already have the capacity for said behavior. If you are abusive, a liar, thief , narcissist..etc then the capacity was already there, these are not a symptom of an addiction or your self inflicted "disease" Acting upon these things and not controlling your actions may be a symptom though.

When I ask my mom why she drinks, she always tells me that it's "easier to deal with everyone else around her" or "I can finally be myself when I'm drinking", which doesn't make sense because she's actually a pretty decent person when she isn't drinking. The second she starts with the vodka lemonades, she turns into this nasty, hurtful person that no one wants to be around. No one wants to be told the things that she says to them, but when she's drunk she doesn't actually think that the things she's saying are mean, or she thinks that other people are being nasty to her in the first place, which isn't the case.

Hellonamesdana, maybe recording your mom and then playing it back to her when she is not drinking so she can hear how mean the things she is saying are would help. My dads wife is an abusive person, but alcohol magnifies it and makes her intolerable. I cant say she is as she is due to her drinking, just that the drinking makes it worse and I think that's the case in many situations.

I do think that's a good step because how can you properly address and treat addiction if you don't base it on the motivations/feelings/likely actions of the addict? There's still a long way to go for these kinds of programs, they aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I do think we're making progress with them.

Yeah this is true to some extent. Of course it is still their decision and their mind who is controlling them but for the most part they are just way too driven by the substances and the hunt to get them. It's why a better understanding of addiction is often the best way to help someone who has addictions because their state is so different that not many people can relate.

Well, not trying to sound like an expert here. But they act that way simply because of all the chemicals that have been mixed up in all their drug intakes. We all know how drastic of an effect that is. Their brains get fried and next thing happens, they are unconscious of all their actions.