My husband had a huge porn addiction. It was really rediculous. He has the stuff everywhere. He would spend hours looking at it on the net and magazines everywhere and movies.. ect. He puts down anyone who does not look like those girls. He calls people fat, skinny ect ect.. if they look like a magazine girl they were hot. I was constantly trying to loose weight and keep- fit but I am in my late 30's. I dont think I look bad but it was never good enough. I got tired of trying to compete with air brushed implanted women with wigs. How does this happen? How do guys get so immersed and addic ted to this stuff?
well his addiction to porn is not the problem here but the fact that he puts you down and compares you with porn girls. Most men love porn but they dont call they wives fat, I mean no man in right mind would even consider calling his wife fat, other than that porn is good for relationships it spices things up
Why did you loose the weight? You should lose weight instead. Too bad it was rediculous, I guess that's better than bluediculous. Look, the reason we are all here is because men have an extremely strong sex drive. It's hard wired. Porn takes advantage of that. It's mean for him to compare you to that. The girls in porn never age, they just keep getting younger ones, so it's not fair to compare. Plus, I bet he's no prize. I don't understand why women are confused and act like it's only their guy that likes porn. He takes it too far when he verbalizes his thoughts though.
I think it's selfishness. My dad was/is(?) a porn addict. He was unsatisfied with what my mom offered in bed. If he had actually worked with her and loved her more, I think they would still be married today. I'm not a naturally aggressive person, sexually, but my husband has been very good at loving me and making me feel sexy. He isn't into porn at all, he thinks it's stupid. My husband says porn is the lazy-man's sex. He gets all his gratification without the work. I'm guessing you guys have problems other then his porn addiction. You might want to look into seeing a sex or marriage councilor.
Not ot offend you, but he sounds like an awful person, if a man dared to put me down in this stage of my life, he'd surely get a slap on his face and a kick up his *ss. And of course me walking away from him for good. He needs to be a gentleman and learn to respect you, then he we can start talking about his addiction. I'm sorry, I hope I am not sounding mean to you or anything, is just it pisses me off to hear from men who do that to women, specially to someone they are supposed to absolutely love and cherish.
It's not only men who struggle with this addiction. It's just like every addiction, the more you get, the more you want. If you are not in treatment then you are really out of luck. It will just continuosly progress, costing more money, more time, more real relationships with real people. I am sure he won't be able to think about this clearly until he has a little recovery. My heart goes out to you. This is not about you or your deficiencies. It is about HIS sickness. Believe me he would be the same no matter how you look.
1. men like porn. evolution has made men have the compulary urge to spread their seed. its how the world got populated and our species stayed alive. now, however, we have a society that says a man is a "player" if he does this.. so instead of going against society, men turn to porn to release their needs. be happy he is finding a safe alternative (masturbation) instead of hookers, workmates, etc and bringing STDs home to you. 2. get online and do a little research of your own. look up "retouched photos before and after" and see what pictures of models look like BEFORE they hit the magazines. it will make you feel better and give him a much needed dose of reality. 3. if it continues and really bothers you that much, seek marital counciling and see if you can continue to be in this relationship or if it is time for you two to go your seperate ways.
Men are very visual and they are naturally attracted to women with great physiques and feminine facial features. Pornography acts almost as a compilation of what most men look for in a woman, at least on a physical level. However, porn addiction is a huge problem and terribly unfair on women. It's impossible for most women to look and act as porn actresses do. Men who are addicted to pornography do need to seek out help.
I really don't understand why married men are still resorting to engage themselves to porn addiction not knowing that they are already hurting the feelings and overall dignity of their wife whom they vowed to respect and love when they get married. No wonder most men single and married ones at one point in their life are doing this kind of activity that needs psychological treatment.
I am not a man to exactly know the answer but read before that men are really thinking about sex and/or women most of the times. They are more sexually inclined compared to most of the women. Addiction to porn is bad as any kind of addiction.
That fact that he compares you to the women on the porn flicks and calls you fat is the big problem here. That is awful that he makes you feel like you have to lose weight to make him happy and then he doesn't even care anyway. My partner watches porn and I really don't have a problem with it. We have even watched it together on occasion. If it became and problem and he was using the porn to replace out intimate relationship then there would be a problem. I see nothing wrong with him watching it once in awhile which is a rare occurrence. If he is going to watch it along it is when I am not there. I don't feel threatened by it or feel I have to compete with the girls on those flicks.
It comes about when you like watching porn videos and porn photos . It can be as a result of influence where friends suggest to you to watch porn or even sites you visit online. You need to avoid any porn material if you want to beat the addiction.
Seriously, I'm not trying to be rude either, but your husband sounds like a complete and utter tool. He may have an addiction, which is very serious, but that gives him no excuse to be a jerk.
I think you quoted me by mistake, Matt But I agree with you, the husband of this poor woman is not such a good man for doing that to her. If it was me I'd have already given him an ultimatum before walking away from his sorry *ss. I get so angry when I read about women who put up with this kind of things, I hope I don't sound too rude, is just I think all those women deserve much better than that.
Porn is like a drug. Studies have shown that it has the same effect on the brain, that it does on drug addicts. What happens is that when a man masturbates to porn that's all that will turn him on. You can be gorgeous but your husband won't want real sex with a real women. Porn causes a fantasy that someone want's fulfilled and that's usually something you won't want in your marriage.
He should not be making rude comments about you period. That is a great way to break up a relationship. I knew that men were "visual" but once he gets a wife I figured a man will view porn less since he has the real thing right next to him. We women know that those porn stars are air brushed and what not. Be proud that you don't need to resort to such tactics to make yourself feel beautiful or acceptable to other people. ask your husband how he would feel if all you did was watch handsome hunky men all day? Have you ever asked him why he is so addicted? He should realize that porn is just entertainment so it makes sense that they would chose pretty girls constantly. It is not a 100% reflection on how real women in the real world look like.
A lot of female porn stars have come out and said they didn't enjoy the scenes. Some of the women in porn say that the intercourse was painful. This confirms that most of the time it's all an act. A man should be more concerned about having sex with his wife, because porn isn't real. Even women who have developed porn addictions have had marriage problems.
@Tsky45 One of my exes was so addicted to porn, he made me watch it with him because he needed that in order to be able to perform ok. I could easily tell most of those women weren't really into it, most of them were only doing it with the money in their mind. I actually think it's so depressing those women have to have sex with so many different men just to make a living, it's so sad.
I think porn is created in a way to fuel men to consume more - how else are the companies going to make money? To do so, they need to tap into our evolutionary desires, and there is nothing more basic than reproduction. My thoughts on why men develop addictions is similar to every other addiction; the pleasure centers in the brain take over wanting more and more and the companies keep look at ways to fuel that stimulus. Education I think is a key to reducing the risk of developing porn addiction. The industry creates this fantasy of what a generation is growing up expecting women to do, want, and be like - and when they find this is not so, they return to the only vestiges where their expectations are met...in porn.