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Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Joseph, Oct 1, 2014.
@SashaS and @rajesh... Thanks so much for your kind words. We truly appreciate the feedback.
This forum is really a god send for anyone living with the effects of addiction. Posting my story here was the first time I could be truly candid about some very shameful aspects of my past. There are of course some things I still need to share and I will do so when more comfortable with the community, but just being able to share was already a great boost for me.
@Noreht... We're glad you found us, my friend. This is a group of caring, supportive people. Please know that you are not alone. I'm glad you're finding some comfort in being here. I look forward to seeing more posts from you in the future. Welcome!
@deanokat Thank you for the kind words. Even though there are people in my family that know that i was addicted they have not been addicted themselves and this is what I find most useful about this forum. I can connect with fellow recovering addicts that know what I have been through and that truly understands the struggles I have to face on a daily basis.
I understand. I'll do my best to lend my voice and experience in order to help others.
There should be more pages like this in order to help more people who really need some advice from others, this isa great forum, I highly support thiscause!
A dear loved one is struggling to get by through difficult times of making determined decisions to reject drug addiction--once and for all. We all need communities of support and cheering available friends to help and see our struggling loved ones through.
It's so good to be here.
We're glad you're here, @EditorsRHumansToo! Best of luck to your loved one. If we can help in any way, let us know.
I fell to my knees and bowed my head before the Lord and cried out
"God, please help me, the temptation is too strong to bear. I know it is wrong and I don't want to go down that road again, especially when I've been doing so good. I can easily get 100-150 worth, however that's not what I want. The enemy is making it sound so sweet, so good, and I know I have put on a few pounds which if I score can easily be put off. And honestly that rush of feeling great and happy on top with having tones of energy is a really good feeling. A care free no worries everything is wonderful. But... I know the outcome and reality of it and I've given my life to you. Before I got baptized, my exact words were I no longer want to turn to drugs for that good high, I want turn to you instead. Just please father God, give me strength and please remove the strong desire and all the temptation from me Lord. Please father God take my hand and pick me up, don't let me fall. Please. I fully give my life to you and leave myself in your hands. Please, I need your help. Fill my heart mind and my thoughts up of you and things that are pure. In your sons name Jesus, I pray... Amen"
My knees still touching the ground, my head still bowed, taking a deep breath and believing he'd pick me up. I then quickly stood to my feet and just then, it was gone. Not only was it gone I felt joy, peace and truly loved and I smiled. My God took my hand and didn't let me fall. I got so sick and tired of doing things I didn't want to do anymore. Lying, having sex with a drug dealer whom was in a relationship with a baby on the way. Even knowing his girlfriend and after she had given birth to a beautiful baby girl I didn't care. It was, I was all about getting the next high. I used to be 300 pounds and I dropped down to 145 within the first year or so. I was beautiful, glamorous on the outside. On the inside I was so sick. My mind played tricks on me. I thought even my closets friends and family were against me.
During the quiet nights I'd hear loud sirens and trucks, car alarms and my family fighting and talking about me. It got so bad that I couldn't even go outside alone anymore.
The neighbourhood would shout mean things about me and whisper to each other "there's that crazy Meth addict" but in reality none of that was true.
I started having panic attacks and no longer felt so good using so what did I do? A fatter line and when that didn't help I'd do more and more. Which only made me more crazy.
On top of feeling crazy and not knowing what was real anymore I felt guilty about lying to those whom care about me. One night laying in bed I couldn't take it anymore so I got up and flushed it. I felt relief after that. Until the next day I was freaking out and needed more.
Of course one of my dealers just live a few blocks away so I scored. Felt great. Until night time came along. I started hearing things again and heard doors opening, people in my back yard. So I flushed it.
And every single night high or not, feeling good or going crazy I prayed and asked God not to give up on me. Some nights I cried my eyes out begging for someone to catch me using and again saying "father God I'm sorry, please, please don't give up on me" I was bad.
When I couldn't get a hold of a dealer or had no money I'd be on my bathroom floor crying because I just needed to find a little piece. I used daily for almost two years.
Crystal meth killed my father at 33. My baby sister uses and sells, my aunts and cousins. I couldn't help think it was my destiny to be an addict. Still I prayed.
I've been clean almost a month and I do not have the desire nor temptation to use. However when I did I fell to my knees and the Lord lifted me and gave me strength.
I didn't graduate never cared, never had drive. August 15th I'm enrolling into Adult school for my GED so I can join the police academy. Because with God I CAN do anything. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins, I love you.
Don't you want to stop doing what you don't want to do anymore?
Here is a prayer you can say it out loud or quietly in your mind. Just have faith and believe and trust in our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”
If you decided to repent of your sins and receive Christ today, welcome to God's family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.
Get baptized as commanded by Christ.
Tell someone else about your new faith in Christ.
Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word.
Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.
Seek fellowship with other followers of Jesus.
Develop a group of believing friends to answer your questions and support you.
Find a local church where you can worship God.
Thank you for creating this site. I am new here and exploring. I have dealt with disease all my life. I have relapsed after 10 years clean from cocaine. Ive been on it for a year now. Alcohol is my drug of choice. I dont want to go back to AA. I am newly married. My husband has same problem with no recovery background. He believes its a matter of willpower. We are in a mess.
@Cindi... Welcome to the community. I hope you find the forums helpful. I will be keeping good thoughts for you and your husband. No matter how big the mess you're in is, you can get through it. I know you can.
Thanks for the welcome Joe! I'm not sure where to begin or how! I have a 38 year-old son addicted to heroin. He's done things so hard to believe since his addiction when I look into his eyes, they're empty. We had a very wonderful childhood, he did no drugs, alcohol, got married from home, never seen either mom or dad abuse anything. Very involved in the lives of he and his younger sister, now 36, who's unofficially using meth, I'll be asking for the truth from her tomorrow. She tried for 12 years to have a child, didn't happen, 5 years ago, new man, my grandbaby was born! Changed ALL lives involved for the better. For abuse reasons, she and the child have lived with me since 6 months of age. Loved watching her be a mother...time passed, son began his addiction, to which she refused to accept,I agreed never around the baby however, he needed help, encouraging words and help. That being said, he moved to another state hoping to get help, clean, find the person he lost so long ago. He's failing miserably, rarely hear his voice unless he's crying, begging for food, money, homeless...usual excuses, I KNOW I've enabled, heartbreaking, tried to help to no avail. His sister, while used to be close, cut him no slack. However, for the last 14 months, she's been changing. Choosing men I'd soon find out, one made n sold meth. Im still keeping them in my home, though she's sleeping wherever, i have the baby. Man 1 overdosed, she claimed she had no idea. Man 2, sold someone the stuff that killed his friend, she had no clue. Man 3, she's changed so much, emotionally, physically, yet i tolerate so the baby's in my care 95% of the time. However, I can no longer ignore what i see and feel in my heart. My fear of confronting her is trying to run with my grandbaby, I'd die for today. She NEVER wants to be or go with her mother, which angers her, believing i put things in her head. She's 5, not a 1 year old not seeing things. The father doesn't want to raise her, wants me too, yet was very violent with my child. I'm terrified of her moving in with him unless she leaves the grandbaby here. Tonight she took her there with her, saying its not normal for them to live here forever, yet quit 3 jobs in 6 months, not working or looking. My home is all the baby's ever known. I've considered many options, yet with the family court cps options often backfires and either puts child back with mother, or a nightmarish foster care system so broken. I love my children but my grandchild needs a voice. Any constructive ideas would be greatly appreciated. This is a small part of the reality of my life, it's more like a nightmare I can't wake up from!
@Mommiesbabies... Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about the struggles your kids have gone through. When our children suffer, we suffer, too.
I highly recommend a book called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. It's written specifically for parents and partners of people who struggle with addiction, and it's full of incredibly helpful information. I think it would really help you to read it. It will teach you how to communicate better with your kids and how to deal with their issues more effectively. It will also teach you how to take good care of yourself while you're dealing with their stuff.
I also suggest you find a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting in your area and attend it. Being amongst others who know exactly what you're going through and feeling can be very helpful and comforting. You are not alone.
I'm sending lots of positive energy and hope your way. I will also keep your son, daughter, and you in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and light to you.
Thank you, it means alot to let it out n know people like you really care! God Bless and ty for the advice❤❤❤
Can you UPDATE the Date CERTIFICATE the site is not secure.Thank you
I will let the powers-that-be know, @True concern. Thanks!
I think it has since been fixed as it no longer warns that the site is unsecure.But thank you
Okay. Thanks for letting me know.
I need to find a depression medication that won't interact badly with Suboxine?
@JC56... Nobody here can help you with this, because we're not medical professionals. The best thing to do would be to talk to a psychiatrist about it. They are the most knowledgable about antidepressants, their interactions with other drugs, etc.
I wish you luck, my friend.