It sounds like a matter of self medicating in relation to what you speak of. When you're using to feel better because of something else. Have you considered supplementing the getting high with something else? Sounds easy & is easy to say but you'll come to points where you say 'this is stupid I could have easily gotten high already'. Doesn't mean it won't work if you continue on & commit until its second nature. When thinking the way I mentioned becomes a waste of time.