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Women with Sexual Addictions?

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by SarahWorksAtHome, May 26, 2015.

  1. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    I'm a woman and one of my addictions I have struggled with has been sexual. You hear a lot about men and pornography addictions and sexual addictions, but not women.
    I wonder how many struggle and do not speak or if it just really is that rare for a woman to struggle with that.
    Damien Lee likes this.
  2. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Hi Sarah, for a long time, throughout history, we have been told that women should not have a strong sexual appetite. That there must be something wrong with them if they enjoy sex. They either have to be nymphomaniacs or "ill" in some other way. The "ideal" woman is portrayed as being demure and obliging to her husband. Whoever created this image? And how did it get implanted into the mind of the masses?
    I know many women who love sex, and they can't get enough of it. It's also not unusual for women to watch certain types of porn. Although, they tend to be stimulated by different things than men. I have friends who engage in all kinds of creative sexual activities, and there is nothing secretive or shameful about it.
    What makes you think that there is something wrong with fulfilling your desires?
  3. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    You are not addicted to sex but you seem to mostly suggest sex whenever you are idle. Maybe because you are newly married or you stay close to your boyfriend. What happens when you do not have time for sex? Will you have it? Definitely no. So you need to find some work and do instead of being idle.
  4. whitenoise

    whitenoise Senior Contributor

    That's interesting, a woman addicted with sex. I never heard of this type of addiction related to the other gender. Can you talk about it for a momoent? I'd like to know something more about this like , what are your feelings when you do not statisfy your needs or how you statisfy them?
  5. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    There's a big difference between having a healthy appetite for sex or being free to fulfill sexual desires and an addiction or obsession or dependency on it. I have figured out that what I struggled with was more than just the prior and was actually unhealthy. There was dependency on it to fulfill me, dependency on it to make me feel like I was worth something or wanted, dependency on climax similar to drug addicts depending on a high, hiding things, sneaking around, engaging in dangerous behaviours.... you get the picture. To me, those things can turn ANYTHING into a problem.
  6. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    How many women do you suppose has/had this problem, and instead of it being treated like an addiction, it was disregarded as her being a slut or a whore?
  7. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    Just my own personal speculation is that it's got to be about half of them.
    LilAnn likes this.
  8. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I've known some women that had a really big sex drive but I don't think you should worry about it. I mean, it really depends on your situation but you should be able to find a partner that can fulfill your sexual appetite.
    It would be good if you could open up a little bit and give us more details.
  9. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    My question would be this: does it affect your lifestyle and your relationships in an adverse way? If not, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. However, if you feel low self-worth and self-esteem which only seems to disappear when your addiction is satisfied, then that may be a bigger problem. Is it just for the attention? Or is it something more?
  10. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    It does actually cause me a lot of issues. My boyfriend and also my ex husband have thought I only wanted them for sex at times. It's caused many arguments and hurt feelings. I did actually cheat on my ex because I felt unsatisfied sexually.
    I do feel unwanted, ugly, worthless when I am not constantly being pursued, touched, laid. I actually crave the climax and have touched myself until I was hurt enough I had to go to the ER once. I have porn bookmarked on my smartphone... is that more detail on what I'm talking about?
  11. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    With the turn of the century many taboos of the past have started to be unveiled, including the natural "addiction" to sex that a woman may have.

    However amethyst has mentioned exactly what a women addicted to sex is; a nymphomaniac, but wanting to have sex, dreaming on eroticism, wanting to satisfy fantasies or watch porn and then try it out in real life don't make you necessarily sex addict or nymphomaniac, just a woman wanting to explore her own sexuality and enjoy it to the maximum.

    You would be, however, if you cannot think of anything else but sex, wanting to have it day and night and even masturbating yourself all the time when not with a guy. This is then a psychological condition that can be treated.
  12. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    Do you get accused of cheating? Like when there's no reason to suspect other than your obsession? I don't have any deep insight if your answer is yes or no, either one. I'm just trying to imagine the different negative impacts it might have on your life. I like sex a lot! But no more than anyone else, I don't think. I just admit it more freely. I couldn't imagine what you must be going thru.

    Keep in mind I have no real clue about any of this... But could it be a hormonal imbalance? If that's possible than maybe its just a matter of taking the right hormones. Any doctor can help you with that, maybe?
  13. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    I've been too embarrassed to talk to my doctor about it even though he's gotten me through my other addictions and struggles in the past. I need to open up to him about it though. He's a great listener and amazingly understanding.
  14. whitenoise

    whitenoise Senior Contributor

    Well, than I think yes, there is something that doesn't work. Have you ever tryed to talk to someone of you friends and let them know about this trouble? By the way don't poke yourself that much on this.. it's something that can be easly treated in my opinion.. you're not hurting/killing anyone ;)
    I would suggest you, among the other things, to not focus on the desire you have when you are in that "sex state" and try to think at other things ..
  15. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    ^Pun intended? Lol. Sorry, couldn't resist! Hahahahahahaha.
    Thanks for the advice and support, though, for real. I'm going to try to stop stressing it so much and just try to open up to a few people I trust.
  16. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    Your doctor has heard and seen things a lot worse than your issue. Have you ever seen the various x-ray pictures of what people have gotten stuck in them? And by "in them" I don't mean anywhere above the waist. Check a few of those out right before going to talk to your doctor.
  17. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion


    HAHAHAHA! LilAnn you ROCK for that!
    Kinda sounds like the whole "imagine the audience in their underwear" trick.
  18. whitenoise

    whitenoise Senior Contributor

    Little bit :) By the way as I said before you're not harming anyone... don't take that too serious and do some stupid things.
  19. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    I feel a lot better about it after sharing. That's why this forum rocks. It's a safe place to share with people who understand. And you're right, about if I'm not hurting anyone. If I'm not cheating or hurting anyone, it's not as bad as when I was a substance abuser, really.
  20. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    The only time a sex addiction is a real problem is if you are sleeping with multiple people to satisfy The addiction, or have to have sex in order to survive. If you are in a healthy relationship with one person and have a sex addiction with that person, I do not see anything wrong with that at all. As a matter of fact, your guy would probably consider himself a lucky man.

    You should be able to freely express yourself sexually with your partner and explore your desires, as long as they are safe. History tells us that woman should not have a voice when it comes to sex, but we need to fix this.
    Sudarsan likes this.