Part .1 Very shy, and low self esteem so making this profile is a huge deal and kinda freaking me out, used to be an extrovert now very closed in and shy from being abused in the past. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. So extremely hard to do this and open up at times, my upbringing and past wasn't so glamorous but I'll be the first to say I won't blame others for my substance abuse. That was my own freewill and choice, right or wrong it was mine, grew up in a small town and things were great for a while till I found out the man that claimed to be my dad for 8 years was my step dad, imagine finding that out and the confusion. Never mind the mistrust and anger that I was lied to or maybe that it was just sprung on me suddenly. Anyway life went on and I grew up looking for my own family so to speak. At 14 Started drinking and using and hanging with all kinds of ppl all who were much older then me, I left home at a young age and started living in some of these flop houses I guess until one day a girl... also who was a few years older then me was there and seen me. We spent most of the evening exchanging smiles back and forth as she mingled with her friends and did her business. A short time later for what ever reason I was just stuck watching her and admiring her and then next thing i know she looks up towards me and starts coming my way, naturally i started panicking internally thinking I saw something I shouldn't have. She quickly grabbed my hand pulling me to my feet saying she wanted to talk and to fallow her outside. So in a panicked split second I said quickly "Im only 15" so we went out on the porch still holding my hand she spun around and hugged me like I was a long lost friend that came back and as she pulled away she kissed me gently saying she promised she wouldn't ever harm me or hurt me. Infact she had seen ripped up stained wet blanket where I slept at this house and told me she wanted me to move in with her.