An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Worried about little brother...

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by lalabee21, Dec 5, 2015.

  1. lalabee21

    lalabee21 Active Contributor

    Hey, my little brother is just 17 and he lives in Virginia where he attends a military academy. He just visited for thanksgiving and told me he has this Colombian friend that uses cocaine and I'm really afraid that he will start using it too. I tried to tell him how stupid his friend is and that cocaine is awful. I want to find a way to convince him to not get started in this, to not get involved with people who do this stuff, but I don't want to sound preachy. He's just a teenager and he believes everyone else is stupid and that he's super cool, so don't know how to get in his head or how to deal with this.

    I'll really appreciate some advice
  2. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    Maybe you should tip off the academy about the drug use. It has no place there or any where for that matter. That way your brother won't know you had anything to do with it, and maybe get the bad influence away from him at the same time. As a big brother it's your place to protect him as best you can. So you just need to remind him of that, and loving someone isn't always fun.
  3. Scooby Snack

    Scooby Snack Community Champion

    I suggested that cocaine was on my bucket list and was swiftly knocked up-side the head with the statement "I suggest you go read stories in the 'cocaine' forum to find out why that's not a great idea".

    So maybe send your friend here.
  4. Shenwil

    Shenwil Senior Contributor

    I agree with Scooby Snack, he won't really listen to you out of the blue. But find a way to show him the effects cocaine has on a person and I'm sure you'll get his attention then.
  5. lalabee21

    lalabee21 Active Contributor

    Hey, thank you all for your advice and I know you're right. He would never listen to me out of the blue, lately he has this attitude and he thinks everyone is a moron except his friends. It's kind of hard to get his attention, I don't want to be preachy, I really want him to listen to me. I'm just so afraid, I don't want him to make the same mistakes I did and I love him so much and want him to have a great life without all this stuff around him.
  6. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    He is at that age where he knows it all and has life all figured out. You can talk to him but like you said he won't listen anyway but you can still say what you have to say. Even if he doesn't admit it, it may stay with him and he will remember what you said. You have nothing to lose by talking to him.
    lalabee21 likes this.
  7. pstrong1969

    pstrong1969 Community Champion

    Teenagers are very impressionable especially by there friends. Hopefully he doesnt succumb to the temptation his friend may offer. With that being said, Teenagers also think they know everything. So he may have to find out the hard way. Maybe he did listen to you about why he shouldnt do Cocaine. Hopefully he did.
  8. knitmehere

    knitmehere Community Champion

    Sadly that's one of those situations where you probably won't be able to help. If you want, send him some information on the side effects. That's really the most that you can do. He's going to make his own decisions, and hopefully you'll be there for him no matter what.
  9. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Well, he may be a little older now, but he's still underage, and because of that, you still need to guide him in this life. Just try to give him words of advice, but don't sound a little too preachy. Just let him know that you're really concerned about his welfare, and you don't want him to get involved in any kind of drug issue.
  10. GettingBetter

    GettingBetter Senior Contributor

    In my opinion, it's really not fair of you to be upset or trying to judge your brother, based on one conversation about his friend? You can not protect every person from every influence, and even the though of trying to do will make those of us with a rebellious attitude bristle. Frankly, you sound preachy already?

    If I were you I would let your brother make his own choices and support him IF he needs your help, which sounds like he is not needing right now?
  11. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    You just have to keep talking to him about it. That's the best you can do, or he'll have to learn the hard way. I'm surprised that they don't notice this in a military school. He has a friend who does coke but that really doesn't mean he'll do it. Hopefully your brother won't be a follower but a leader.
  12. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    I would say to keep a gauge on your brother's behavior. If other people want to use that is their problem including your brother's friends. Rather than sounding preachy " you better not do cocain"! I think you should help give him all the tools he needs to deal with peer pressure, how to make good decisions despite being surrounded by foolishness and most importantly how to be accountable for your own actions. Just shouting Crack is whack will make it more enticing because it is being treated like the for bitten fruit. You want to make it less enticing, show him pics of how drugs messes with people's minds and bodies. Pics are worth a thousand words.
  13. eveliner

    eveliner Senior Contributor

    Yeah, I also agree you shouldn't just hope that he doesn't touch that horrendous drug and take action. Report the incident to the Academy, even if that costs the Colombian's place there. It's for the sake of the child, your child, and nothing should discourage you from doing it. Go ahead!
  14. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Yes, I would probably tip off the academy. It is a tough situation because your little brother may feel he can't confide in your any more, but I would explain to him that you are looking out for his best interests...and worried that he might feel that using coke is OK. Too bad for the Columbian, but he knows the rules.
  15. rtorir

    rtorir Member

    As a big sister, you have the responsibility of educating your teen brother about the dangers of using alcohol. Try creating a relationship with him that will allow him to come to with questions or concerns about subjects like the effects of the drug. Find for him educative movies and other productions that have cocaine awareness agendas. He may learn something from them. As karmaskeeper suggested, you can also try alerting the academy about the use of drug. All the best!
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I think just continue reminding him not to be involved in drugs every time you think applicable to give those reminders or advises. At least he become more aware of how bad it is and what it can do for him. You should also tell him that you have trust on him and believe that he is able to differentiate the right and the wrong already with his age. That way he will try not to destroy that trust.
  17. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    The only thing you can do right now is to get as close to him as possible, and keep working on his trust. If he puts his trust on you all will be good, because odds are he will let you know if he is thinking of trying this. Otherwise he might just start and you might not know it until much later. I know by experience teens don't react well to preaching, sadly. They don't process danger or consequences like we do.
  18. bleblanc10

    bleblanc10 Senior Contributor

    I am sorry to hear this, I hope the two of you are doing well.
  19. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    My thoughts are keep trying. This is a serious drug to take up and the addiction is a nasty one not to mention very expensive. I have friends that can not get the courage to leave this stuff alone. This is an expensive habit that leads to death. You should pile it on thick...he has his whole life ahead of him.
  20. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    Did you get the name of his Colombian friend? I guess the best way for you to go is to report it. Alert the academy that illegal drugs are being used in the premises. It may not only be his Colombian friend who is using. What if there are other students in the academy who are already addicted to the stuff? Don't wait for the day to come wherein your brother will become addicted too. It's a hard decision especially if it involves a loved one. But it's for your brother's own good.