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Would you ever let a drug addict near your children?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by richfootfastfate, Jul 2, 2015.

  1. My friend has a drug addict uncle who has been addicted since before we were even born. I feel bad but I don't want him near my children, he not only takes drugs but drinks heavily and is coarse and rude. My friend would be deeply upset if he knew I was thinking this because despite it all he still loves his uncle. I know the situation may be a couple of years off yet but I was just wondering if you were in the same situation would you let that uncle come near your children?
  2. Totalarmordestine

    Totalarmordestine Senior Contributor

    Aside from all the self righteous experts jumping on the "drugz is bad" bandwagon, ask yourself this:

    It he a harm to society?
    Is he addicted to kids? No, it's drugs.
    Does he demonstrate intoxicated behavior in your presence?
    Has he ever been prone to violence?

    And the most important one . . .

    Even though he is an addict, what on EARTH leads you to believe he will actually use in the presence of your children?

    If you don't want this person around your kids, it should be more of a decision about his rude and coarse behavior, not the drugs. You are reacting out of fear of what you don't know. Hear me out.

    I have a family member who was born with a disability that gives him a life of pain, every day. He has been on Morphine since he was 8. He is a pharmaceutical drug addict, and addicted to "legal heroin." He has to take a dose twice a day, every day. There is no withdrawal. He will be on morphine until he dies.

    This man is the most trustworthy, gentle person I've ever met and I gladly call him brother.

    So if you don't want this person around your children, you should base this decision on his behavior, not his addiction. Based on what you've said, I agree with you - but you're making this decision for the WRONG REASONS.

    It's a sickness like any other sickness. Anyone who categorically eliminates a drug addict from their life based on that alone is a hypocrite and ignorant as well: these are the same people that unanimously support rehab programs which are worthless.

    Self righteousness is not a virtue, it is a fault. A fault that fades away once something like this touches your life and you are required to find out REAL answers instead of knee-jerk bandwagon jumps. This is what I suggest to you.
  3. thepieeatingjay

    thepieeatingjay Senior Contributor

    I don't think this uncle is necessarily a bad person but your child needs protection and your responsibility (and your boyfriends) is to your child first.

    My husband's childhood friend (32 years!) occassionally smokes pot... he came to a New Year's Party at our house with a joint and smoked it - outside but with kids playing around him.

    I hit the roof big time! My husband told him straight up that he was not welcome in our home again. They are still friends and go places together like cinemas, pub etc., but if we ever have a party or gathering we only just recently, after 2 years, started letting him come.

    He is a great person, I really enjoy his company.
  4. tarverten

    tarverten Senior Contributor

    This is something that you need to gently discuss with your friend, You can't wait until a child is in the picture and then freak out. If you talk with your bf about it you may find that he feels the same way. It dosen't mean that he will not continue to love his uncle, but he may also want to be protective of his own children. Also, if the uncle lives this lifestyle, he may unadvertantly take care of the problem for you, (sorry). hope this helps,,good luck
  5. blastguardgear

    blastguardgear Senior Contributor

    There is no way in hell my kids would be around anyone like this. You said it yourself, he not only takes drugs but drinks heavily and is coarse and rude. Why would anyone want their children around that? I would also be questioning why your friend looks up to man like this? Sorry he is no one to be looking up too. He doesn't have to cut him out of his life but I would strongly encourage you to think about having children with him if he wants your children around a man like this.
  6. shadowsupernature

    shadowsupernature Senior Contributor

    I have to be honest, I probably wouldn't let this person be around my children. You all need to understand something here. Our children are affected by what we adults say and do. Would YOU want an addicts addiction rubbing off on YOUR son or daughter? Ask yourself that.
  7. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Addicts can negatively influence those they come in contact with and since kids at their age are very impressionable anyone from whom they can learn bad habits shouldn't be allowed to come near them. On the plus side though being around an addict could enlighten the kid and maybe that would make them hate drugs forever.

    Nonetheless you shouldn't take any risks. Choose what's best for the kids. If you are certain the addict will be a bad influence to them then don't let him get anywhere near the kids.