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Would you have a problem, if a sober living home opened up in your neighborhood?

Discussion in 'Sober Living Homes' started by pineywood, May 5, 2015.

  1. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Would you have a problem, if a sober living home opened up in your neighborhood?

    The reason, I ask, is I have had some acquaintances have this happened to them. While I understand their concern, if we all turn our back on these much needed residencies, where can people turn for help? How would you feel?
  2. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    I believe the only valid reason a neighbor should be concerned about having a sober living home a few steps away could be the land use permit, as there are residential neighborhoods that do not allow any type of establishments whether commercial, medical or else inside of it.

    Other than this, I don´t see any problem having a sober living home in my neighborhood because this is not only the first place to look at when it comes to addiction recovery, but its sole presence helps to promote a sober environment around the place.

    This is useful for the youths, who tend to hang out down the streets drinking beers, coolers or else. Don't know why, but I have seen how this conduct changes when they know there is a place supporting sobriety nearby.
    pineywood likes this.
  3. Sarah15

    Sarah15 Member

    I would not have a problem with it at all; we're all human beings subject to the horrors that can often befall the best of us, and who am I to judge someone else for what's happened to them?

    These people are trying to recover and make life better for themselves - they can't do that if they keep meeting resistance from all sides. I'm lucky enough to have a good home and good people around me - some of these poor souls have nothing, and nobody to turn to.
    pineywood likes this.
  4. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    It wouldn't bother me at all. How can you possibly object to something that is designed to help people lead healthier and more constructive lives?
    pineywood likes this.
  5. johnny

    johnny Member

    It's a very touchy issue, but yes many people's reaction is generally going to be negative. Like you said, there's not really any solution to it seems. People need to get treatment, and it has to happen somewhere.
    pineywood likes this.
  6. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I would never have a problem with a sober living home being in my neighborhood. But I'm the father of an addict in long-term recovery, and he benefitted greatly from being in sober living. I know what a huge difference such a place can make in someone's life.

    The problem is that the general public isn't likely to have that experience. The stigma associated with addiction, and the people who are addicted, rears its ugly head and scares the general public. Because of that, they don't want to have a sober living house and "those people" in their neighborhood.

    If there'a a zoning/land use issue, that's one thing. But being against sober living houses simply because of the purpose they serve and who lives in them is discriminatory and ignorant. That's why we have to keep educating the public by sharing our stories and knowledge. The more we can teach people about the disease of addiction and the recovery process, the more we will chip away at the stigma.
    pineywood likes this.
  8. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It will depends when it be located in here. If just near our house or few houses away (residential area), I might have a problem with that. But if it will be located on commercial areas in here, it will be very fine.
  9. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Thank you for your honesty. I am wondering, if you would care to expand on why you would have a problem with a sober living home near or a few houses away from your home? This would way we could discuss some common misconceptions about sober living homes.
  10. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    I absolutely would embrace it. I would even hope to be able to volunteer or help in some way. We have a teen boy rehabilitation place here and there was a huge battle when it came here and I guess I could see why but I have seen nothing but good for our community come from it. They are growing and changing and helping out around town. It's been great.
    deanokat likes this.
  11. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Oh, thanks for sharing your first-hand experience. These are the type of success stories that help take away the fear and reluctance of having a sober living home in your residential community. It is refreshing to hear you write about the positive results not only in your neighborhood, but in the community as a whole.

    You mention the possibility of volunteering or helping in some way. I hope you get the chance to do this and report back here on the forum, so others can get a greater understanding (myself included) into the workings of a sober living home. I just want to say again that you have done the sober living home in your community a great service already by stepping up and talking about the positives.
    deanokat and SarahWorksAtHome like this.
  12. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    Thank you for your kind words! To expound a little on how the young men make a difference and have been positive in our community:
    They are involved in a couple local churches and usher, greet and help out with care and maintenance.
    I've seen groups of them assisting with community events like parades and egg hunts at the park and even pet adoption events. Some volunteer their time with animal control and humane society.
    Youth pastors work with them to have them share testimonies with other kids and teens in the county.
    deanokat and pineywood like this.
  13. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    So what if a sober living home opened up in my neighborhood? Shouldn't that be a good thing, though? I look at it as a way of reaching out to people who don't have the guts to admit they're substance abusers. That it's okay for them to seek help and find a way out of their predicament. What's so bad about offering help, anyway?
    pineywood and SarahWorksAtHome like this.
  14. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Oh, right, I agree with you! It is just that some people do have a problem or a concern with a sober living home opening up in their neighborhood. I think, with some open communication we could address misconceptions. Maybe some people think it is dangerous or that the residents are out of control, etc. Speaking about the positives helps alleviate other peoples fear of the unknown.

    I would just like to add that I do not think (my opinion), when an individual is residing in a sober living home they are at the stage of denying or "don't have the guts to admit they're substance abusers". These homes are for people who not in the initial stages of recovery. If I am mistaken, someone, please, step up for more clarification.
    xTinx likes this.
  15. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    From my experiences and knowledge, I believe you are right.
    I believe these are mostly for people who are coming out of jail where they may have undergone treatment for addictions (sort of like a half-way house) and for people coming out of rehab and not ready to go back home, have no home to go to yet, or do not need to go back home until they are more adjusted to their new life.
    There is one that is a couple towns away that is for women. I've met a few at an event. Some are unable to return home due to domestic violence reasons, or because they have no home or just simply aren't ready yet. Many have children and are trying to make sure they are strong enough to try to regain custody of them. The home there trains the women to get back into the workplace and helps them transition back into everyday life again.
    xTinx likes this.
  16. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Good points. Especially about the adjustment of transiting back into society with a new lifestyle. I think, it is so fortunate these sober living homes are available. To imagine doing this on your own with no support systems in place could be such a detrimental situation. I wonder, if anyone can open a sober living home or qualifications are needed?
  17. Tikibubba

    Tikibubba Member

    I believe if a sober living home opened in my area, I would be a tad nervous. Not to say that I wouldn't accept the people living there, just I might be a worried kids might be more susceptible to getting drugs. But that would be my only concern, I think its great that the people living there are trying to get help. But on the other hand you have to think about kids influencing the people trying to get help. Kids these days are acquiring drugs from varying sources, these people that are trying to get sober may be drawn back in through these kids.
  18. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Can I just clarify something? Sober living homes are for people who are sober. They're not for people who are trying to get help, or who have just decided a day or two ago that they need to change their lives. My son entered sober living after 38 days in residential treatment. The concept behind sober living homes--reputable ones, anyway--is that they serve as transitional housing for people in recovery. Instead of going straight from treatment back to their home, people in recovery can move into a sober living home to help them get acclimated to "normal society" again. Instead of going home and being in familiar surroundings that may trigger a relapse, these sober people can live in a place with structure--mandatory wake-up time, assigned chores, mandatory meetings, drug testing, etc.--to help them make a smoother transition.

    I just wanted to make that clear. I think some people think sober living homes are places where people with drug or alcohol problems can go when they want to get clean. But that's not the case. (And I apologize in advance if I misinterpreted anyone's thinking.)
  19. JayT.V1598

    JayT.V1598 Member

    I feel as though most people have two opinions to this question.
    Some may take it as a risk putting a sober living home in their neighborhood and some may take it as marvelous idea to clean up the neighborhood.
    In every situation there is the pros and the cons. An unfortunately in this situation, people tend to seek out the con’s more than the pro’s.
    The fear as to what they’ve heard about substance abusers over comes their general outlook on the situation. With no research themselves done on the topic at hand, they just listen into gossip and horrifying stories.
    They judge when they shouldn’t.
    But as I say, no two apples are the same.
    This comes to when you also find people who encourages the idea of having a sober living home in their community instead of being against it as other.
    Those who sees the good in helping others who need it.
    But the phrasing ‘no two apples are the same’ don’t only go for those who live in the neighborhood, but for substance abusers as well.
    I have met my share of sober past substance abusers and I can tell you clearly there is never the same person with the same personality or the same way of dealing with their struggle to stay sober.
    I know many have said, how sober living home isn’t the same as addiction rehabilitation, but you must keep in mind that that person will forever be battling their inner demons of the addiction.
    Their addiction will forever be with them till their last breaths.
    But I agree with the idea of placing a sober living home in my town. I think the homing can possibly bring others to want to get themselves clean once the see others who have passed what they have and are making it.
    I believe that many can make it, if we believe they can as well.
  20. harold

    harold Community Champion

    I find nothing wrong with a sober living home in my neighborhood. I do not see any reason why people who have already found help and want to acquaint themselves with a different lifestyle, should be a problem. I know that society is generally scared of addicts and at times, do not want them around even when they prove beyond doubts that they have changed. People judge addicts and even when they have already gotten help, they still do not believe that they are clean. I have heard one or two people warn their children to stay far away from a former addict. Society is so skeptical about positive change to the extent that few people believe that someone can truly change. I do not see anything wrong with sober living homes.
    deanokat likes this.