An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Would you tell your kids?

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by Zyni, Feb 16, 2015.

  1. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    If you smoked pot when you were younger, would you admit it to your kids when trying to steer them away from it? Is it helpful to share your experience, or does that make it seem more like it's okay to do?

    I'm torn. I don't know if it's actually helpful or not. It may be better to just explain things without telling them that you know from experience. I'm usually pretty open with my kids, but I don't think I have to tell them everything.

    Someone recently asked me this, and I really didn't know how to answer. What say you?
  2. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    The truth shall set you free!! Just tell them the truth. Kids need to hear that. By doing so they will know that you understand what they are going through.
  3. Janie

    Janie Active Contributor

    I'm torn on this too. I think it might be best not to tell them. In the moment of decision for them, they might just think, well, my dad did it and he turned out fine, or he just did it once too, or he quit so I'll be able to, etc. Kids think they are so strong, smart, and invincible, they don't realize how quickly a person can get swept away in addiction.

    You really don't have to share everything with your kids. You wouldn't share your sexual escapades with them right? The only way I could see it could help is if they are already in trouble, and you share with them what you did and how you stopped or got help.
    Zyni likes this.
  4. juno

    juno Community Champion

    I think it really depends on the situation and what your kids are like. If you believe that telling your kids your own story will only give them a free pass to try it themselves, then you may want to avoid the subject. If you think it will be a good learning experience for hem to hear it from someone who has actually gone through it, then you should tell them.

    It is probably important for your kids to know at some point because the probability of kids of users to become users themselves is more high, so it may be a way of telling your kids to steer clear and not get into any susceptible situation.
  5. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    I think it depends. If it caused you problems which you can explain to them and describe to them why it's not a good idea to try then that may be of benefit. But if you used it successfully and never had any problems from it, then they might see that as encouragement. Of course, if you don't give them your opinion then they will accept the opinion of users closer to their own age who don't really know of all the dangers just yet.
  6. JohnBrock

    JohnBrock Active Contributor

    My parents told me about their use of marijuana in their young days (and their very rare, but occasional contemporary usage), and I didn't get started on a track I couldn't get off, in fact it prompted me to explore marijuana in safe circumstances, turned out it definitely wasn't for me, too much paranoia!
  7. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Should the kids ask whether you ever smoked pot then you'll need to be honest. They'll suspect that you are lying to them should you tell them that you've never tasted any drug and should they start experimenting they'll try to keep it from you since they know you disapprove. If they don't ask there'd be no reason why you should be all that forthcoming.
  8. Kappys

    Kappys Member

    I would not tell them outright, but if the topic should come up and you may or may not have, be honest with them, they deserve to know the truth. it isn't quite a big deal if they're older such as a high-school-er, even though that's probably when they might be interested to begin smoking, but some have a higher level of maturity than that.
  9. timelord731

    timelord731 Senior Contributor

    It depends on the age. If they are teenagers, they may or may not assume that you have already tried when you were in high school/college.
  10. jbepp

    jbepp Active Contributor

    I'm honestly torn. I feel like admitting that you smoked weed could make your kids think that "My father did it so it's ok if I do it too", and that could lead to serious drugs problems. I'd personally try to not talk about it, and if they asked me, I'd say the truth. After that you could just give them some advice and tell them that harder drugs will definitely ruin their lives.
  11. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I can understand how you would be torn. As a parent you want to have open and honest conversations with your children, yet there are those sensitive issues you don't quite know how to approach. An older child might be more interested in the details. I think if it's brought up, you owe it to your children to be honest. You don't want to go out of your way to hide things they are likely to find out from other sources. When that happens distrust may arise.
    In situations like these, it's sometimes best to follow your heart.
  12. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    It would appeal to kids more if you share your experience with them because they will see that you did the same things that they do or intend to do, so they would be inclined to share things with you because they think you will understand as compared to if you don't share anything. So I suggest that you be open to your kids about it when the right time comes.
  13. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I'm also torn about this. At one point, I think it's better to say the truth to your kids so they'll understand why you are badly trying to protect them from bad influences, because they know you have been through that situation before. You could tell them the awful effects substance abuse has done to you and you don't want them to suffer the way that you did. However, I think it's also good to just not talk about it to them. Because once they got curious and you prohibit them from doing drugs, they might counter with, "You did this too, right? Why can't I?" :confused:
  14. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I'm not sure on this one. On one hand, you are in the perfect position to educate your kids about drugs but onthe other hand, there is every chance they'll throw it back in your face at some point during an argument.
  15. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    I will advice only on effects, if i tell them that i used to smoke maybe they will try it out. I will not mention until something related happens.