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Wow – did that used to be fun?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Skyler, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. Skyler

    Skyler Member

    One of the things I’ve starting to notice is that some of the people I used to be the most comfortable with and enjoy drinking with don’t have a lot to offer me anymore.

    It’s not that I am intolerant or feel like I will over indulge when I’m with them but it’s just not the same ‘fun’ and the amount of alcohol that is consumed is off putting. I was never quite as heavy of a drinker as this group but I didn’t find it concerning. It was fun. It makes me think that when fueled by alcohol my blinders must have been on.

    It’s looking at things like this objectively and having a place to be able to talk about them that is helping me to see that I am ready for a change. Even just saying that is a step in the right direction. I know I'm not the first person to feel this way. Its just the first time I've had the courage to admit it even to myself.
  2. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I think it can be time or as a person get's busy then they may seem like the past is not like how the present time is and also may think how they used to have fun before,also don't have the same desire with the people they know. I have seen this and know some people who used to drink and hang around with their friends, but then after a few years they got busy and did not stay in touch that much like before. It can be surprising to see what can happen when a person sees the past and decides to move on and try and not think about what was fun, as much as when they were younger and try and find new friends or get busy.
  3. CallipygianGamine

    CallipygianGamine Community Champion

    I had that feeling a lot with some of my old friends, particularly near the end of my time hanging around them. Our interactions started to revolve too much around alcohol and the more that happened, the emptier it all felt. It is a powerful realization indeed. Like you, it triggered the need for a major change in my life. Not that I was able to make that happen overnight, but I feel as though life has held much more meaning since I decided to turn things around.
    Skyler likes this.
  4. Steve Dawson

    Steve Dawson Community Champion

    One of the biggest problems faced in the medium term by people who have turned their lives around, and fought and beaten an addiction, is the continual temptation faced when we're surrounded by those who still drink, or remind us of drinking, or who we used to drink with. It was the single biggest obstacle I had to face several months after giving up drinking, sudden pangs of craving when in that situation. Ultimately, I eventually changed my circle of friends to a circle where alcohol was rarely drunk, and in moderation on the rare occasions when it was drunk. It helped me enormously and reduced the temptation and frustration for me greatly. I think it can be sad to have to let good friends go, but sometimes you have to make a hard choice about what sort of future life you want to have, and as you have a different life now, free of addiction, different friends are sometimes the best option.
  5. SLTE

    SLTE Community Champion

    Yeah, I can get behind this. I've never been a huge drinker, but when I did drink it was easy to get together with friends and have fun by discussing how sloshed everyone was. Now, as an adult, those same drunken conversations just aren't that interesting, and the people who rely on alcohol to have a good time seem to be utterly lacking in redeeming attributes.

    In particular I've noticed a tendency among drinkers to only want to talk about 'the good old days', as if there's nothing in the present worth discussing. I find that kind of sad.
    CallipygianGamine and Skyler like this.
  6. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    There were friends that I had that I only ever hung out with when I drank. If I wasn't drinking then they wouldn't be people I would hang out with. Sometimes we have different sets of friends for different things we do in life. I never hang around with them at all now.
  7. OhioTom76

    OhioTom76 Senior Contributor

    I agree, I think it also has to do with simply growing up and growing apart in some instances. When I was in my late teens into my early 20's my circle of friends were predominantly co workers and we were all in school and working together as servers in restaurants, so of course most of us would all go out together after work and drink copiously. We would also crash at each others houses, go on road trips together, concerts, festivals, etc...

    But as we grew older and started pursuing careers after school and or some folks were also starting families, we just lost touch with each other and went off to pursue our interests. I've reconnected with some former friends from my past and certainly felt the same way. I don't have much to talk with them about since beyond booze and drugs we really had nothing in common. We all bonded as coworkers, but once we were no longer working together, that connectivity was gone.
  8. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    From every experience we learn a valuable lesson and sometimes when we can't learn from other's experiences we must learn the hard lessons ourselves or stumble into the truth.

    Drinking while it might appear to be "fun" for a little while eventually doesn't seem to be that when you realize that there are more important things in life than "fun." And when that happens whatever connections we had in the past no longer appeal to use that much and moving on, get to know that there never was much in common with those we thought were some of our best friends.

    @OP don't look back. Sooner or later we all have to end toxic friendships.
  9. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I think the reason why you were with them in the first place was just that you are looking for people to have fun and hang out with, but they are not really your true friends. They can only be considered as your drinking buddies, and yeah, it was totally fine to bond with these kinds of people. But remember, if you want to achieve something in life, you have got to let go of some people who are keeping you from growing.
  10. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    It's all a natural part of growing up really. I can't believe that I thought my old lifestyle was fun too and it's only after being able to distance myself from it for some time that I realised it wasn't at all. Some of the people I knew back then are still stuck in the same old rut and even though I rarely see them, when I do, I can't think of a single thing to say to them beyond small talk.
  11. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I used to have a group of friends that drank like crazy too. Some of us aged out of it while others continued on the path until something went terribly wrong. I am glad that you finally great up and realized that you did not need to get totally shnased to have a good time.
  12. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    As people get older they change and what we used to think was fun then, we look back now and realise it was more ridiculous than fun!

    As people change their priorities change to, and that will also include the people in your life. People will come and go and that's just normal in my opinion.
  13. henry

    henry Community Champion

    Hmm, yes, it kind of happened to me as well. Not because of the drinking, but because of the conversations. We always talked about the same things every time we got together to drink. Things like, which band is better, The Beatles or the Rolling Stones, or how I couldn't understand why they liked Guns and Roses and I didn't, and so on. My mind has moved on from that kind of stuff. As I got older, I started to question more important things- at least to me they're more important. They haven't. They're stuck in the same old blah, blah, blah. Now I prefer to drink alone.
  14. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    Blinders definitely go on when you're drinking and with other people who you consider to be your friends. I realized they didn't care at all about me much less themselves. Whether they realized it or not. You think it's fun, but it's really just a bunch of alcoholics getting together to feed on their problems. It's masking what is really going on.
  15. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    It's usually like that when your in to different things. What you started doing with your friends you aren't doing any more so your relationship kind of changes from that. If your not drinking with them then you have to find other ways to have a good time with them besides drinking. Since you realize your not having fun with them anymore maybe drinking is all they can come up with. It's when your sober you see what people are really made of.
  16. singingintherain

    singingintherain Community Champion

    I can totally relate to this. I find that as I get older some friends change these habits, and others do not. I definitely have issues with my drinking, but I have made a conscious effort to change. A lot of my friends are continuing down the same path, doing the same things we did when we finished high school. We're now all entering our 30's though and it really feels like it's time to grow up.

    It does make you wonder how you managed to spend so many hours (and dollars!) at a boring local pub though huh!
  17. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I understand your point. There's like a lack of variety in your interactions. Instead of doing other meaningful activities together like travelling, visiting museums, nature trekking, what have you, you and your friends are confined to just one type of activity: drinking. That will really feel empty. Because there's nothing more to look forward to than just drinking alcohol and a bit of small talk.
  18. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    I also had my so-called "drinking buddies", who abandoned me after I stopped doing so and now I don't keep in touch with them anymore. Most likely, they are now gathering and heading to a bar, to drink until midnight then wander through the city, searching for a place to sleep. I've never been as miserable as them, even though I was an addict. I was still able to think rationally (somehow).
  19. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    This can happen a lot no matter what the group is. Maybe you are no longer into a cerain sport like your friends and have moved on to something else. You might be on a different page than these people that's all.
  20. BrandonA

    BrandonA Active Contributor

    I know an alcoholic whose tastes and proclivities flipped a 180 once she got out of alcohol addiction. She changed crowds, dumped the party life, even changed her favorite ice cream flavor. It was hilarious (I can say that out of joy over her sobriety). She's a much different person now that I knew before, and although she still drinks occasionally (mostly socially), she's much better for it.